Cracked: 7 Reasons A Zombie Outbreak Would Fail Quickly

[Chuckg]

http://www.cracked.com/article_18683_7- ... ickly.html

[spudman]

I loved cracked.com. But to bring up a couple points...

The Zombie Survival Guide and World War Z version of zombies take care of a couple of those reasons. Solanum (the virus that causes the undead) is lethal to just about everything (but only turns humans into zombies), including most decomposing bacteria. Animals know something is "off" about the undead and simply flee.

Of course, Brooks also acknowledges that a zombie pandemic would be a worst-case scenario and would require MASSIVE screw-ups on the part of just about everyone.

An outbreak of Romero-style zombies would of course be more harder to contain because everyone that dies comes back.

[Wittgen]

If everyone who dies comes back as a zombie, then the zombies winning is simply an eventuality. Everyone dies.

Funny article.

[Chuckg]

The Zombie Survival Guide and World War Z version of zombies take care of a couple of those reasons. Solanum (the virus that causes the undead) is lethal to just about everything (but only turns humans into zombies), including most decomposing bacteria. Animals know something is "off" about the undead and simply flee.

Plausible, but even then the other six reasons just wipe the floor with 'em.

The supernatural 'every dead body, wherever situate, rises up a zombie no matter what' scenario is one we lose, yes, but its about the ONLY one we can lose.

PS: Harm's way is 4875 feet from the end of this. :)

[Tempest Kitsune]

Actually, even with the "everything that dies rises" scenario, there's still a decent chance. Mass cremation would be the order of the day though.

[jgkitarel]

Depending on how willing, and ruthless, you are, you could always go for the scenario they decided in Outbreak. Seal off the area, and handle it with a nice thermobaric weapon, that you will actually use on said location. A few MOABs and FAEs might be able to stop it, if found early enough.

If not, yeah, mass cremation as a burial tactic.

[MrRigger2]

The proper way to deal with a zombie outbreak.

http://xkcd.com/734/

MrRigger

[jgkitarel]

Well, that worked, in that case....

Still, you can never be sure enough that it's gonna stay dead.

*tosses a thermite grenade, WP grenade, and five molotov cocktails into the lab.

No body, no zombie.

[Dervon]

I postulated before that another big detail is genre-savvyness. Almost all zombie-outbreak scenarios (in movies) have a very nice one-two combo that messes with responsiveness: First, people are caught out in the blue one crisp morning with a global epidemic that sprouts up everywhere at once (not saying this makes any sort of sense, just pointing out that this is often the way it plays out). Secondly, lack of genre-savyness frakks everything up in those first crucial 24 hours (blah blah quarantine/riot-response, blah blah try to treat wounded, blah blah OMGWTFBBQ!).

Though to be honest, while I do agree with people that side with the "army will take care of it"-camp, I wonder if the same could be said if, for instance, every major population center (heck, everything down to even villages and hamlets) gets hit more or less at once. How do you deal with something of that magnitude?

[jgkitarel]

If that happened, I think we would have other things to worry about. But then again, it would just take longer. That being pulled off speaks of someone deliberately releasing a biological weapon in major population centers, and producing enough of it to hit every town would take years, even decades.

Trust me, if it was done in the states, someone would have likely found out.

[Dervon]

If that happened, I think we would have other things to worry about. But then again, it would just take longer. That being pulled off speaks of someone deliberately releasing a biological weapon in major population centers, and producing enough of it to hit every town would take years, even decades.

Trust me, if it was done in the states, someone would have likely found out.

*shrugs* Again, my point is that this seems to be the way it pans out in Romero flicks and a few others. No real justification, just BAM global epidemic, have fun!

[jgkitarel]

Then again, plot really doesn't play too much a part, or someone would try to fill in those little holes. Doesn't keep them from being entertaining, though.

[Dervon]

Then again, plot really doesn't play too much a part, or someone would try to fill in those little holes. Doesn't keep them from being entertaining, though.

Heck, look at the recent jaw-droppingly good The Walking Dead series. The "hows" and "whys" matter far less then the very quickly established "I think I have to worry more about my fellow survivors then about the zombies".

[jgkitarel]

Exactly.