I have _got_ to email this to my GM...

I have _got_ to email this to my GM...

Unread postby Psystorm » January 7th, 2009, 1:43 pm

Alright, so I've recently started playing Warmachine, having gotten tired of Games Workshop's bull (A miniature wargame and a miniature wargaming company, respectively). Trawling the forums of my chosen faction for advice, I notice this one guy who posts really useful advice and is curteous and nice to n00bs, but what really draws my attention is this rotating image he has in his sig. Nothing fancy, just a block of white with 'Things Mr. Welch is no longer allowed to do in an RPG' in blue, and what seems to be a different random funny thing, numbered from 1 to the low one-thousands. After a while of seeing this, I get curious and click on it.

Only to be subjected to the most concentrated dose of funny-in-list-form I've read since I first was subjected to the Evil Overlord List. Seriously, this thing is hilarious. And the best part? Every one of these is something he's pulled in a game, then been forbidden from ever doing again.

I haven't finished reading the second part yet, but I have to stop now or I won't get to sleep before dawn.

EDIT: Duh, me forget linky :duh.
Last edited by Psystorm on January 7th, 2009, 9:56 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: I have _got_ to email this to my GM...

Unread postby MrRigger2 » January 7th, 2009, 1:46 pm

Linkage?

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Re: I have _got_ to email this to my GM...

Unread postby Darkandus » January 7th, 2009, 7:05 pm

No more! Please! My ribs are killing me :animlol: That man is officially the greatest human being who has ever lived. I couldn't get passed 100. :rollin:
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Re: I have _got_ to email this to my GM...

Unread postby selina_catz » January 8th, 2009, 9:26 am

I remember having seen a couple of these in motivator form.
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Re: I have _got_ to email this to my GM...

Unread postby Kodra » January 13th, 2009, 10:33 am

Subsequently what did you decide on for Warmachine?

Here's my basic rundown:

If you like blowing things and setting things on fire, play Menoth.

If you like being nigh unkillable, slow moving juggernauts, play Khador.

If you like being a sneaky evil backstabber, play Cryx.

If you like to lose alot, play Cygnar. (I kid, Cygnar has alot of tricks that are really effective, but they are very very hard to play as a first army.)
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Re: I have _got_ to email this to my GM...

Unread postby Psystorm » January 13th, 2009, 10:33 pm

I ended up choosing Cygnar, because I like speed and ranged attack ability, but didn't so much want Cryx. Also, I had had enough of religous fanatics from 40k, so that excluded Menoth from the running, even though 'blowing things up and setting them on fire' did appeal to me (no, I'm not a pyromaniac, why do you ask?). So I ended up getting the 'second-best-at-everything' faction, which is okay - I'll build balanced lists, and won't try to out-speed Cryx, out-last Khador, or out-annoy Menoth (j/k).

I'm aware of the steep learning curve, but I played Eldar in 40k, so I'm used to stuff like that (admittedly it was Mech Eldar, but that's not as easy as people make out). Unfortunately, one thing I didn't take into account before buying my first models was how defensive a lot of Cygnar's stuff is. I'm really more of an aggressive player - I don't really see the long-term appeal of sitting back behind a gunline and daring anyone to enter your killzone. Sure it might be fun at first, but I'd imagine after the first few times you'd get bored - at least, I know I would. Blitzkreig all the way, baby!
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Re: I have _got_ to email this to my GM...

Unread postby Greybane » January 13th, 2009, 11:17 pm

I guess I am the opposite sort of player. I always start up with incredibly strong defenses with a hint of aggressiveness until I am unassliable for a while. Then I reach out and try to get allies in a no risk situation for me. Then I will create two "tanks" or equivilant, plus a whole bunch of throw away units. I use those throw ways to scout and see how everyone else is doing. from there I will usually up my defense to fully Aggressive/Defensive levels. Then mass an army, attack closest or weakest enemy, and see how it went.
Odd that. It actually worked.
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Re: I have _got_ to email this to my GM...

Unread postby Psystorm » January 14th, 2009, 8:42 am

Well, yeah, that's pretty much how I play computer strategy games too (although I suck at playing another human). But in a tabletop wargame, where you both start with roughly equivalent forces and no more are coming, I prefer to dictate the flow of the battle by being able to concentrate my entire force to strike at a time and place of my choosing. Also, a lot of players are only used to their opponents either setting up a gunline or come charging straight at them, and when suddenly they have three or four pretty tough things come barrelling out of the woods to their flank at them it unnerves a lot of them. Of course, when you meet a player who's not only not unnerved by it, but has plans to counter it, it can get a little ugly, particularly since fast armies, especially shooty ones, usually don't have the numbers (apart from the horde versions) or the durability for a war of attrition, so you really need to hit one portion with everything you've got and try to roll them up along the flank. That or hit'n'fade, which, while risky, if it works can be extremely irritating for your opponent, as they've lost a decent portion of their forces for no significant losses from your force. Although even 'not significant' losses can really add up, as you've probably got no better than a third of their model count.

If you can manage it, it's all the better to also set up a firebase with some heavy artillery to reach out and touch someone, and use one to beat the enemy towards the other. Either they attack your arty and troops in hard cover, taking a pounding all the way and risking your mobile strike force coming up their butt, or they spend half the game chasing down your mobile force/s (it's sometimes more effective to split them) while your firebase is plinking away at them, one unit at a time. It's good if your firebase has some capability to redeploy too, both for new firelanes and to keep an enemy off them that vital extra turn for the cavalry (sometimes literally) to arrive.

Unfortunately, while that's the ideal, I can't seem to operate a split firebase/mobile force effectively yet - although I'm a lot better at it than I was. I seem to be best with an entirely mobile force, whether that means putting all the infantry in APC/IFVs/Chariots or just getting fast infantry that loses little effectiveness on the move, like Gun Mages or jump pack troops. I'm going to start my warmachine career with an as-mobile-as-I-can army - which, luckily, certain builds of Cygnar seem to be capable of doing - and then, slowly, begin to phase in 'static' units, until I can run anything from a purely mobile army to a purely static, blow-big-chunks-out-of-them-from-extreme-range force. I reckon learning the other extreme will make me a better player, even if I don't use those skills that often.

...That, and I want to try, just once, an army that could have the 1812 Overture as it's theme song, as opposed to my normal forces, which are a lot more 'Ride of the Valkyries'-esque. Who knows, I may even get to like it as much I do my current playstyle.

And I'm rambling, especially considering I've written this thing in between helping people with DVD players and computers. Heck, I probably contradicted myself three or four times up there, so I'm just going to post and be done with it. Need to get back to watching those Battlestar Galactica DVDs I got for Christmas and seen barely any of yet.
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Re: I have _got_ to email this to my GM...

Unread postby Kodra » January 19th, 2009, 3:07 pm

If you are new to Cygnar, pick up Centurion, put an arc shield on him, and go to town. He's such a juggernaut that it will give you breathing room to play with. To this day I don't really have a good answer for a 24 Arm cannot be charged Heavy.
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Re: I have _got_ to email this to my GM...

Unread postby jgkitarel » May 8th, 2009, 1:49 am

:rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl

Man, you see something like this often enough, but it's always funny.
Also, I have to punch you, jgkitarel, because I spent a lot of time on the nanoha wiki trying to locate information on mages being trained due to being above a certain rank, only to remember and confirm that you were the one that came up with that. - Phht
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