"Dark Chronicle's been ported to the PS4? HECK YEAH! LOVED THAT GAME! LET'S PLAY IT!"
(Note - All the gameplay shown is mine.)
So, this is Dark Cloud 2. AKA Dark Chronicle. Don't worry, there are no story threads from the first game you need to know - it's like Final Fantasy. Now, how does this game start?
... Like Final Fantasy.
"THOSE MONSTERS ARE IN MY FATHER'S ROOM? FATHER!"
Wow, that acting.
One of the fun mechanics of this game is that you can pick up and throw enemies that are smaller than you. So. Yeah. Pretty useless in most cases, but hey. You can stun them for a bit. That's nice.
"Let me stand here over your father's corpse for a second. I'm eeevviiiiilll."
"ITACHIII - I MEAN, GUY I'VE NEVER MET BEFOREEEEE (I think, they haven't explained it yet.)"
And fade to black.
Holy framing device, Batman.
HEAVY BREATHING!
This is Maximilian, a young aristocrat with a passion well outside his high class' portfolio, who has a mystical artifact on his person. And an apparent obsession with a woman he can never see again.
... No, not Maximillion Pegasus. Maximilian. Totally different guy. Max is a mechanic, not a card maniac. He loves to build things. And his obsession is platonic, and with his mom. And he's going to the circus. Who is run by Mr. Obviously Not Evil.
Starting at around 5 minutes into the above video I reacquaint myself with the camera controls, and make some adjustments while talking to the townsfolk. I'll put an annotation to skip to further story in the vid and a link here.
"You need a ticket to get in."
"Here -" and then a hobo with Sora hair steals my ticket. "What in Toon World was that?"
"Well, that sucks, kid. Not like I could just let you in, and make sure that brat doesn't get in even with a ticket."
"Why can't you?"
"So you can learn the controls."
"But I-"
"Sucks to be you."
And thus I go around the square again, asking important characters who only get voiced this one time where the boy went.
"It's rude to speak to people from behind." Far as I remember, this message never comes up again. Ah well. I'm pretty sure it's just so that the old lady can do her animation correctly with minimal effort from the developers.
Thus, Max caught up to Hobo Sora - I mean, where was he going to run? Out of the little tutorial area into the rest of the city? Psshhhh... And then Max lets him keep the ticket. I'm kinda surprised at this. I mean, I bet Max didn't even use his fabulously wealthy family's money to buy that slip. He has a job, he probably worked for weeks to save - okay I couldn't say that with a straight face. Then Hobo Sora creates a spotlight, initiates dramatic music, gives vague exposition about passing some kind of test, and vanishes in totally not magical blue light, and leaves behind the ticket. Rendering the above mess - that's right - ABSOLUTELY POINTLESS.
Well, assuming Hobo Sora never comes back. He won't, right? Yeah. Totally pointless.
Oh, also? Those tears in the screen? Totally not in the original game. That's the PS4 porting process screwing up.
Thus, Max goes into the circus, watch some crazy circus acts, such as an elephant performing the Sphere Shot from Final Fantasy X, and two guys practicing their comedy routine in which one beats the ever loving tar out of the other, shaking him down for a magical red stone the beatee... doesn't... have...
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-
This results in a chase sequence in which Max becomes star of the show, shows his superhuman strength and agility, and kills/injures a grand total of eight guys via deadly dodging before bludgeoning four more with a wrench and making his escape by jumping over an entire crowd of people. Look at this kid. This kid has probably never, ever lifted or gone for a jog or anything. And yet he is as good a run-and-jumper as freaking Mario.
And that's not even the end of the chase. That said, I love all of the music used for the next five and a half minutes. First, the Moonlight Tango, theme of the first Dungeon Boss (who is now making a guest appearance as the titanic terror chasing Max). It's just so... perfect for this troupe of clowns.
MORE HEAVY BREATHING.
Kid, if you are winded from just a little running, you are not climbing that po-oh my god he's climbing it. And running across the rooftops.
I am PRETTY sure this is the most acrobatic we EVER see Max, by the way. He never does any of these epic maneuvers again.
Annnd chalk ANOTHER clown down as dead. Today, nine comedians died in Palm Brinks.
Max finds himself cornered by the leader of the bunch, who gives him an offer he can't refuse: give him the Millennium Eye or die.
"Don't do it!" Oh hey Hobo Sora. I thought you'd never come back. "You can't give it to him, it's too important!" Uh huh. Give us one reason why we should believe you. You tried to steal our circus ticket. Now Max. Put some serious thought into this. On one side, there's a red-head hobo (oh yeah, did I mention he was a redhead? Some cultures say some baaaaaad things about redheads. Do you really want to risk them being right?) who stole from you and has been acting all kinds of shifty, and may or may not be a figment of your imagination. On the other side, there's a fat clown guy who is riding a giant clown spider mech. On the other other side, there's the ledge you just sent a clown falling to hell off of. A smart lad would side with the spidermech.
... But Max is not a smart lad. He's a JRPG protag.
OH COME ON NOW, THIS IS A DUNGEON CRAWLER, NOT A PLATFORMER. YOU SHOULDN'T BE CAPABLE OF THESE JUMPS! HOW ARE YOU ALIVE?
And then he escapes into the sewers, guided by his OTHER hobo friend.
"Every boring day had been the same for me." Uh, dude, if that was the case, HOW WERE YOU ABLE TO DO ALL THAT? NO, SERIOUSLY!
And cue the title logo, opening credits, and the award-bait song. Fun fact. There are four, no, five official versions of this song. Allow me to demonstrate.
There's a normal version of this song that you're hearing now, then the "acoustic" version that you hear in the credits.
There are two recordings each of these songs - one in English, and one in Engrish. That doubles the count.
Then there's the techno remix included in a remix album.
That said, I totally love this song.
Now. Back to the game. You'll note that in my video, Max is wearing a red fancy outfit, and then during the credits sequence we see Max in a totally different outfit. The thing about that is that this game features alternate costumes - you pick hat/hairpin, bodywear, and shoes. This has no effect on your stats, so you're free to mix and match.
Also, let's see how many spoilery scenes are in the opening credits... Oh wow, they're starting with a scene from, like, five chapters from now. Geez. A whole bunch of scenes from that chapter. Nothing too spoilery as out of context as you get to see them... Wait, was that a scene from THE BONUS DUNGEON? WHAT.
... Good on you, Dark Cloud 2, for showing us those scenes so removed from context that we can only guess when or where most of them happen.
And thus, Maximillion Pegasus escaped The Joker's Army and the Jokerbot with the help of his sewer-hobo friend. Next time, he progresses into the Obligatory Sewer Dungeon and reminisces about his mom.