Another Side, Another Story - A Naruto concept.

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Another Side, Another Story - A Naruto concept.

Unread postby SquirrelyRequiem » December 22nd, 2009, 5:19 pm

So, after reading someone's complaint about villain!Naruto stories I decided to write this intro which has been flying about my head for a few days. Also, yes I do like using KH phrases as fic titles.

It's not a revenge based Naruto and it includes Team 7. Let me know what you think!

Disclaimer: I'm sure there are some errors in this. If you see any please let me know as I lack betas.

Please enjoy!

Another Side, Another Story:
Spoiler: show
It shouldn't be like this

It was all Jiraiya could think as he lay there, gazing into the cold eyes of his most recent student. There was a glimmer of madness that seemed present but not, as though it were out of phase with reality.

Reality. Yeah, this is reality.

How had things gone so wrong? No. He knew the answer to that, a more intelligent question would be "When?" Had he spent all this time teaching and training and- Had all of his efforts been cast aside before they had even begun? Was his godson so well and truly out of his grasp before he even reached him? Had all that time simply been spent preparing this monster?

And why? Why oh why did he feel like it was more than they deserved? Prophecy was such a bitter notion. Yeah, he had experience with it but self fulfilling prophecies always left a bad taste. To think that the villagers had been right about Naruto, yet they had been wrong too. So very very wrong. This was not the Kyuubi. No, this was something much worse. This was control.

It would have been easy, frightfully easy, to simply assume it was the Kyuubi who was doing this. But that was wrong. He knew Minato and he knew that seal. The kyuubi never had any chance of escape.

This is him. This is your son Minato. This is the grandkid you never had Sensei. This is your nephew Tsunade-hime. This is your would-be weapon Danzo. This is your monster Konoha. This is our future. This...this is my godson.

This is Karma.


And even there, broken and battered at his former student's feet, Jiraiya smiled. The kind of bitter, broken smile of a man who glimpses the inner workings of the universe and finds no place for himself. And, as he closed his eyes, he couldn't help but think.

And I still never got a date with Tsunade-hime.

-----

Where did things go so wrong?

It was this thought that haunted Orochimaru as he and his recent student fought. Somehow, between his defection to Oto and now, Sauske had become less controlled. More and more he was wising up, the situation becoming clearer and clearer. Somehow, he had realized that Orochimaru could no longer help him. Somehow, through some means that he, Orochimaru of the Sannin, could not fathom, Sauske was gaining control over himself.

It hadn't been too long ago that he had noticed the degradation of the curse seal marking the boy. Even then it had been too late to do anything. He knew Sauske had to be aware of this, even if it wasn't his own doing he had to be aware that the seal was influencing him less and less.

He hated not being in control.

How did it come to this?

"You're not even using you're curse seal. Have you lost that driving interest you had in your brother's demise? Do you so truly wish to die?" Oh how he had sunk so low, that even now he was practically asking for information. Even still, better humility than death. He was not above such notions, he alone knew best his mortality.

"It is unnecessary. You're usefulness has reached it's end and I alone shall eliminate Itachi. My death shall be neither here nor by your hands." Even as he spoke a faint glimmer of madness sparkled in those dangerously spinning eyes. Those eyes, so like the color of the life blood of his minions he had so casually spilled countless times before. This couldn't possibly be Karma. He wasn't a believer.

"Come now Saus- Ghrk!" Even as his eyes widened he could feel the world growing dim. Glancing down through the darkness racing into his vision he could see the glimmer of his sword sticking out of his neck. Coated in blood, so like those magnificent eyes he had longed to possess.

"Hn."

No! Not yet! I- I'm not rea-.

-----

What the hell is going on?!

One moment she had been filling out some paperwork, minding Konoha's business and sipping some tea Sakura had brought in. The next she could barely hold a pencil.

Poison.

It was like a sledgehammer and, even with the adrenalin pumping through her body, she realized that this wasn't something she could handle. She had to call for someone, anyone. Someone must have poisoned the tea-bags.

"he- help..." even she could barely hear it. Her nervous system was already going, she could feel it spreading to the respiratory and cardio systems even as she spoke. She wouldn't mak- Yes! Sakura had just entered. If there was anyone who could help her, it would be her apprentice.

Bu- but I can't even speak now.

"huuu...hulll" And it was true. She could barely bring herself to breath, let alone speak.

"Do you need help, Sensei?"

Yes! Help me!

Even though Sakura clearly couldn't read her mind, the realization dawning on her face was unmistakable.

"You can't call for help, can you?"

No! Does it look like I can you twit?! Stop standing around and hel-

"I'm afraid I can't do that Sensei. Though I must say, I'm pleasantly surprised. I hadn't counted on it working so quickly. The cellular degeneration you experience from that seal of your's must have been greater than I anticipated."

She wasn't sure if the cold settling in the pit of her stomach was from the poison or not. Something was very very wrong here, and it wasn't just her increasingly difficult struggle to hold tight her mortal coil.

"Then again, it's still a rather experimental poison. And I'm afraid it was something I just couldn't have documented. You know how these things go of course." The cheery attitude that seemed to fit her appearance like a glove almost covered the madness glinting in her eyes, as though it were barely there.

She did. She just never expected it from her apprentice. That was Orochimaru's shtick. Still, even she could appreciate the irony. And, to be frank, she was tired of living anyways. So many people lost and she had done so little to help the world. She was a far cry from her childhood aspirations. Maybe now she could finally join Dan and Nawaki.

Maybe now, I can finally be free.

"Oh don't be like that Sensei! It won't be ending like that. You still have a debt to pay off." Even now her brain was fogging up, her vision being swallowed by darkness. One last thought came to her, but she didn't think it was her own.

It's Karma.
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Re: Another Side, Another Story - A Naruto concept.

Unread postby Kirai » December 22nd, 2009, 5:30 pm

Nice, so the only question is... what drove all of them to do that?
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Re: Another Side, Another Story - A Naruto concept.

Unread postby serbii » December 22nd, 2009, 7:17 pm

Oooh nice.
I like the Naruto part the most, I think a good story could be made out of the hints you've given there.
Sasuke's more or less canon, I think Sakura's could be improved with a little more hints on her motivation, she's the greatest stretch to have her killing her mentor I think.

Overall though I liked it, it was good.
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Re: Another Side, Another Story - A Naruto concept.

Unread postby SquirrelyRequiem » December 22nd, 2009, 7:24 pm

Thanks. I was thinking this would be an AU more than anything else and having this scene start the story, but in the same fashion they did with Shippuden. That this actually happens -later- in the story but starts it out.
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Re: Another Side, Another Story - A Naruto concept.

Unread postby gman391 » December 22nd, 2009, 7:58 pm

In media res as it was? Could work Sakura's the only one I find a little hard to believe.
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Re: Another Side, Another Story - A Naruto concept.

Unread postby SquirrelyRequiem » December 22nd, 2009, 8:26 pm

In media res as it was? Could work Sakura's the only one I find a little hard to believe.
I'm not sure what you mean by the first sentence, would you please clarify?

As for Sakura's bit, it all goes back to Naruto. I'm taking that Messiah quality of his and turning it on it's head. He'll be a Dark Messiah but he retains that natural ability to draw people to him. This isn't to say that it will be some standard genius!Naruto fic (At least I hope to avoid that trapping), but I'm not sure I can write an idiot!Naruto faithfully.

As I stated, this part of the fic is actually much father into the story. It is not the divergence point by any stretch of the imagination. That's actually the next bit for me to write: Naruto's childhood. In a way this could be considered a fic with with the typical mask!Naruto, except that we get to see it's creation and far more interaction without the mask than usual. Some events may remain similar to canon while others will vary wildly.

I hope this clears things up but I get the feeling that it's become muddier.
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Re: Another Side, Another Story - A Naruto concept.

Unread postby Phht » December 22nd, 2009, 8:47 pm

"In media res", or "in the middle" (IIRC), basically refers to when someone starts the story in the middle rather than at the beginning, then goes back to explain/show how they got there.

So this'll be dark-cult-leader!Naruto of sorts?
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Re: Another Side, Another Story - A Naruto concept.

Unread postby gman391 » December 22nd, 2009, 9:14 pm

Err...what Phht said. Sorry about that Squirrel. So a dark messiah type story. What's the specific AU point?
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Re: Another Side, Another Story - A Naruto concept.

Unread postby SquirrelyRequiem » December 22nd, 2009, 9:34 pm

"In media res", or "in the middle" (IIRC), basically refers to when someone starts the story in the middle rather than at the beginning, then goes back to explain/show how they got there.

So this'll be dark-cult-leader!Naruto of sorts?
Ah! Thank you. That makes more sense now.

I hesitate to say yes, but that's certainly what it's looking like. Though I only hesitate because that makes it sound like he's a Pein copy, but he's not! And I can assure you there will be no mass resurrection deal going on.

Err...what Phht said. Sorry about that Squirrel. So a dark messiah type story. What's the specific AU point?
I'm thinking of having the AU point somewhere in his childhood or the earlier years of the academy. The idea in the manga is that Naruto survived his childhood by latching onto the dream of becoming Hokage. By his desire to become a hero and protect those around him, even those who scorned and rejected him, he rose above all the hatred surrounding him. For the fic, I'm thinking that instead, he'll survive by latching onto the idea of changing the world. Not to protect it but to control it.

A personal tragedy is needed for this, what do you lot think of one having one of the ramen chefs dying?
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Re: Another Side, Another Story - A Naruto concept.

Unread postby Phht » December 22nd, 2009, 9:55 pm

Maybe he read that Gutsy Ninja book and/or met Konan (or Pein) at some point in his childhood? Or maybe someone killed his plants? :halo

Pein's not a dark-cult-leader. He's a tragic-cult-leader. ;)
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Re: Another Side, Another Story - A Naruto concept.

Unread postby Calinero » January 2nd, 2010, 4:06 am

I really liked the way you wrote those three sections. In particular, the way that Orochimaru's last thoughts were that he wasn't ready--but he was interrupted. That was a nice touch. Obviously, I can't fully judge how valid those moments were without knowing the events leading up to them, but if you can put them in the right context then you could have a decent story. I'm a little sick of how many fanfics there are where Naruto turns evil because of the nastiness of the villagers, but it isn't given any development--I have to wonder what the point is, other than having him kill everyone. Still, if you can do it well, then I would like to see it. All you have to do is find a way to make it your own.
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