Expectations of Development [Naruto]

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Expectations of Development [Naruto]

Unread postby Kirai » December 28th, 2009, 5:06 pm

Well, this has been flying around my head lately and stops me from editing my multi chapter story... well ok this thing and general procastrination and a dislike for editing, but still.

Anyways, oppinions and brutal ripping into any mistakes I made if I caught enough of your interest to read this:

Sakura is not quite as naive as she seems to be, however she is still naive enough that she thought her first year as a ninja would be easy.
Spoiler: show
Expectations

- - -

Shaking slightly in terror Sakura carefully watched Zabusa. How the hell did this happen? She was a genin! Useless, weak and absolutely unable to fight a jonin Class ninja like Zabusa.

This was supposed to be an easy escort mission, maybe beat up some weak bandits.

But no Naruto had to be noble, and stupid. And Sasuke had to proof that he wasn't scared either. Idiots, the both of them. Of course, she couldn't have said anything. Well she could, but she needed every scrap of respect she could get from them if she wanted to stay on the team. Wasn't hard with Naruto, but Sasuke...

If she weren't so terrified she would sigh in exasperation.

Now if anybody would ask her, they would be running in terror. Zabusa was busy keeping Kakashi imprisoned, his clones while strong probably couldn't take out all three of them, so they should be able to make a clear getaway. Except that once Zabusa didn't have to worry about them, he would kill Kakashi and then go after them. Damn.

She didn't sign up to end like this! They promised a few years of relatively easy work in the recruitment package. Well ok they didn't, but it was implied! No having to kill anybody till after the first year, or becoming chunin, whichever came first.

And now this, first mission outside of Konoha and they were faced with a mass murderer. If they survived this she would kill Tazuna herself!

The stalemate was broken by Naruto, who suddenly charged Zabusa's water clone.

“Naruto!” She heard herself scream desperately, closing her eyes, she didn't want to see the idiot die.

After a second she opened them again, Naruto groaned, getting back on his feet. The clone must have kicked him back to them, going by his new bruises.

She felt the urge to add to the bruises, that was just stupid, what had he been...

She stared at Naruto's forehead protector, he had actually managed to retrieve it. How he did that she had no idea, but he did.

“Sasuke,” he said, “I've got a plan.”

Sakura could only stare stupidly as Sasuke nodded. They were actually going to try and fight!

Were they insane? Did they have any idea... well no probably not, though admittedly they also had little choice, it was either do or die.

She watched, as Sasuke threw his giant shuriken, watched as Zabusa easily evaded it, and the shuriken in the shadow of the first. And she watched as the first turned out to be Naruto, henged into a shuriken.

Alright, so maybe only one of them, actually was on the genin level, she knew Sasuke was about as good as a veteran genin, obsessive like he was, but Naruto apparently did have a few hidden talents... or not so hidden talents as well.

She almost grinned, that meant she could probably coast along quite nicely with the two of them, enjoy what little time she had left.

Naruto finished the impressive display of teamwork, throwing a kunai at Zabusa, that forced him to release Kakashi. That was the end of the fight. Kakashi used his sharingan, and here Sakura faked surprise quite well in her opinion, that Sasuke was surprised... just confirmed to her that he had no idea what exactly he was doing.

Though seeing how easily the situation had gone out of control, neither did she. Once this was over with she would have to find a way to avoid missions liable to go wrong quite as catastrophic like this one.

When the foreign ninja showed up she didn't say anything, Kakashi was keeping on his feet by willpower alone. And if the ninja thought he was caught... well she would make an ugly corpse.

- - -

So, to recap. Kakashi taught them tree walking, something Sakura had down in about half an hour, the idiots... err her teammates, had taken a day or two to do it. If Kakashi had actually wanted her to improve he would have kept her going up that three to get some stamina. Seeing as she didn't really want to improve and had already decided to keep out of the fighting she didn't complain when he send her to protect Tazuna.

She had to say, the fight that happened when Zabusa showed up was... well she wanted to say awesome, but it was really just terrifying. Especially since she couldn't see anything that was going on in the mist Zabusa summoned.

Once the mist dissipated though, she could see that Kakashi had Zabusa well in hand. Sadly the same couldn't be said about Sasuke and the other ninja, Haku she thought.

Though if she wasn't mistaken Naruto had shown up at some point. She felt a brief spike of chakra at least.

She had stayed at Tazuna's side, pretty much doing nothing, as he wasn't of any interest to Zabusa or his underling, as long as her teammates were still alive.

She looked at the cage of ice, surrounding Sasuke, straining to make out anything. But she couldn't, she wasn't even sure if she wanted to. If the idiot died... she didn't spend that much time running after him to lose him like this. He couldn't die. And Naruto...

The ice burst, Haku came flying through one of his mirrors in a cascade of glittering ice. It was strangely beautiful, seeing the body fly, surrounded by fragments of ice.

Naruto followed, an animal-like snarl on his face. His chakra was wild, raw, evil. Sakura didn't want to know what that meant, not yet she hoped he didn't remember what he was doing, berserker seldom did, at least she hoped they didn't. It was better that way, to remain innocent at least in some fashion.

Hakes mask cracked and revealed a pretty face. Sakura nearly gaped, but one look at his eyes and any thoughts of jealousy disappeared. She already lost her innocence. It was like looking into the future, that was her fate, that empty look.

Shaking she looked for Sasuke, where was he? And Tazuna, she had to protect Tazuna.

Naruto, she noticed, stopped his attack on Haku. Confused if she had to guess. Good, he wouldn't kill him then. Looking at the dome she noticed that it had melted, or did it shatter when Haku lost concentration? It didn't matter, Sasuke... Sasuke was...

She looked at Tazuna, eyes wide, wordlessly begging him. He nodded and she was off.

Skidding she reached Sasuke's side. “Please be alright, please be alright...” she muttered, as a trembling hand searched for any sign of life.

She found nothing. Again, her hand searched, for a pulse, for breath.

Again she didn't find anything.

She checked again, faster this time. Her hand almost ripped one of the senbon loose. Still, she found nothing.

She noticed some water on Sasuke's face, odd had it started raining? Oh just her own tears, silly really. The dead didn't need tears, they didn't care. And for the living tears were useless as well, just a distraction. But maybe... maybe she needed this, it was her own fault after all.

Because she refused to do what was necessary. She knew she could have done something, she had carefully looked at it all. Analyzed a thousand different battles, knew the weaknesses of most ninjutsu users, genjustsu users even taijutsu was an open book to her. But she refused to use that information.

They were genin! They weren't supposed to kill. Not yet. Not in their first mission. They were supposed to not suffer that kind of mental trauma.

Wallowing in self pity she barely noticed what was going on around her. Haku was on the ground, Zabusa wasn't looking good either, so thy won. And it only cost them a teammate.

She barely managed to turn the laughter that threatend to escape into a sob, it wouldn't do to have her team, what was left of it, think she found this funny. Even if she did, on some weird level.

More people, and they wanted to fight. Wanted to kill. Looking at Sasukes face she couldn't help it, she smiled. So that was it then? This was how she would...

Zabusa said something to Naruto, she couldn't make it out, over the pounding of her heart. Naruto threw him a kunai, what the hell? He was the reason Sasuke was dead! He was the reason she would...

He charged, charged the men who wanted to kill them. She stared in bafflement. What the hell just happened?

Wow watch him tear through them. And with only a kunai. There were worse ways to go she supposed. Watching the head of that little guy, the boss? Fly was somewhat cathartic, meant she wouldn't have to...

Zabusa dropped, mission accomplished.

Sadly the rest of the horde didn't take the message. She slowly got up from Sasuke, readying herself.

So, it was time...

Naruto created a horde of clones, shadow clones. Kakashi didn't, he used ordinary ones. Should fool the thugs though. Sakura fingered a little vial she carried around since shortly after she made genin. It was comforting, knowing it was there. But, she hated to think about using it.

Where did that bold come from? It was just there, turning around she saw Inari, behind him the whole village stood, the male half at least. Makeshift weapons in hand, ready to defend their homes.

She barely dared hope, would it be enough?

She looked back, the thugs broke, ran away. She was safe. She could have kissed Inari. Well actually she was willing to do nearly everything he asked, but he didn't need to know that, and she kinda doubted he would ask even if he did.

Still this battle wasn't without loss. She stumbled back to Sasuke, and fell to her knees again, cradling him.

She couldn't stop herself, no matter how much she wanted to. Out of the corner of her eyes she could see Naruto, looking as if he wanted to cry too, as he watched her, but he didn't come closer. Probably guilty, the idiot. Didn't he know that this was what they signed up for? A quick death on the battlefield?

Granted, she had hoped to go on easy mission for a while first. But really it was a... she felt a twitch from the corpse she was holding.

She stopped moving, she stopped crying, she stopped breathing. There! Another twitch. And a groan.

Haku! He could make Zabusa look death, he could do the same to Sasuke.

She sobbed again, relive filling her heart.

“Sakura,” Sasuke coughed, “You are heavy.”

She laughed at that, laughed and cried, and if her relief was mostly for her self, for her own hearth? Well nobody needed to know that.

- - -

This had to be a joke, Sakura thought. She didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

First they were up against Orochimaru, one of the freaking Sannin! That obviously didn't go well at all.

And now these three sound genin showed up. Rambling about how they would kill Sasuke or some such.

She knew she shouldn't have agreed to enter the exams. What about her year of easing into ninja life? What about not having to kill anybody?

She eyed the three warily, for now they seemed content to taunt her, rambling on how weak she was.

Though they did slowly edge closer.

“Wha- what do yo...” She hiccuped, to look strong now would be the worst mistake she could make. She needed them close. Tears were running down her face she noted. Curiously she didn't feel afraid. Hmm actually she didn't feel anger either, or excitement. No nervousness, no shaking, besides what she forced her limbs to do. Still, she cried... and she had no idea why exactly.

One of them laughed. “We already said that didn't we? We are here to kill Sasuke. If we get to kill you and the other brat as well... hey bonus.”

Huh, nice lead in, she was afraid she would have to come up with some spiel about offering herself for Sasuke... that probably wouldn't have gone over too easy.

“Wha- wha-what? No!” She screamed, voice wavering and shrill. “Please, please! I...” she paused, seeking the eyes of the boys. “I... I'll do anything.” She almost whispered. “Just please don't kill me.”

The boys looked at each other, an ugly grin spread on their face. The girl rolled her eyes. “We don't have time for this.” She muttered, however a cruel grin did steal on her face.

“Aww why not? Not as if he would wake up anytime soon.” The other boy said, leering at Sakura, who sniffled, sobs wreaking her body. “Hehe, if you really mean it then strip already!” He commanded.

Sakura stared at him, eyes growing wide in what she hoped would be interpreted as terror. She was good at faking stuff though, her teachers rarely if ever found out about her real thoughts of them, or the people around her.

“Wha? Strip?” She stuttered, forcing her whole body to shake.

The first boy sighed. “She's useless even at being a whore.” he sneered. “Yes strip, remove your clothes.” He stepped directly in front of her and punched her, hard.

Sakura fell over, stars appearing in front of her vision. She couldn't let them hit her too often, she wouldn't be able to... better not think about it, there were emotions there!

“Yes...” She mumbled, as she struggled feebly with her clothes, pausing a few seconds when her trembling fingers reached her belt.

She noticed that the other boy also had stepped close to her. The girl watched them, a sadistic grin on her face. However, she didn't come closer. Instead she watched the surrounding area. Not that Sakura suspected her to.

“Man her tits are tiny.” One of them complained, as he began to grope her.

She closed her eyes, this was it then.

She could hear the other one shrug, as he ripped her top off. “Eh we are just gonna have some fun with her, we aren't gonna marry her or anything.”

Sakura shuddered, as she felt their hands roaming over her body.

What was going to happen was painful, painful and yet... exiting.

- - -

Sakura tended to the fire in front of her. Staring into the flames without moving a muscle. She had washed off most of the blood, there hadn't been much. Barely anything really. Most of it came from the girls, Kins, involvement. The other fluids came from the boys... it was quite disgusting really, and much harder to wash off.

She had mended her clothes, as much as she could at any rate.

She didn't sigh, it wouldn't help. She had removed any evidence she found, she hadn't felt anything doing it. Some small part of her hoped that would change. Some part of her hoped it wouldn't. She didn't know which part to root for.

Empty eyes stared into the fire, what disgusted her the most was her own excitement, the exhilaration, the pure euphoria, the... pleasure.

Was that really her? Did she really enjoy herself? She didn't shudder, even though she wanted to. She just couldn't.

Indifferently she poked the fire.

From behind her came a groan.

She turned around and watched as Naruto slowly got up, impressive, the drug she gave him should have kept him out for a bit longer. But that was Naruto she supposed, energy through the roof and all.

She ladled some stew from the pot over the fire into a bowl and handed it to Naruto.

“Here.” She said, in a monotone, “You have been out for a while, you need some food.”

Naruto blinked and looked around. “Huh? Where are we?” He asked, as he accepted the bowl.

She shrugged. We were attacked by some weird genin from grass, don't you remember?”

He nodded, as he ate the stew. “Hmm yeah, he did something weird to...” He paused, as he looked at his stomach. “Well he did something weird to me. And... and he bit Sasuke! Gross.”

Sakura nodded, as she turned back to the fire.

Naruto sat down next to her. “Where is the bastard anyways?” He asked.

She shrugged and pointed back into the direction from where he came. “He's still out of it. Whatever the freak bit him with was pretty strong.” Though she was pretty sure what kept Sasuke down at the moment was the sleeping drug she administered earlier, there was really no need for them to see her cleaning up.

Naruto grinned nastily. “Ha! See I'm already up and he's still out of it. So who's the better ninja?”

Sakura nodded absently. “If you say so Naruto.” She said.

Naruto blinked, and looked at her. “Err did you just agree with me Sakura?”

She didn't bother looking at him. “No, that was sarcasm.” She stated flatly.

“Oh...” He muttered, then continued to eat his rabid, ground soldier pill stew. Nothing better to get the sleeping drug out of your system really.

Naruto was through his third bowl when Sasuke stirred. He didn't groan, he was too well trained. Maybe he would have noticed that he was drugged too... but he would just write it off as an effect of whatever Orochimaru did.

He stumbled to them, staring at the fire. “We shouldn't have a fire burning.” He croaked, staring at Sakura as if she were stupid.

She looked at him, raising an eyebrow. “We are in a cave, the front is hidden with leaves. Nobody will see the fire. If somebody does come in their vision will be hindered more by the fire than ours by the night.” She explained, then handed him a bowl of rabid, pill stew.

Sasuke nodded and accepted the bowl. Hungrily he scarfed down the food, faster even than Naruto.

Sakura just continued to stare into the fire. Though she did notice that his face twitched every now and again. Probably pain from the weird seal. It pulsed in time with the twitches.

“What happened to your shirt?” He asked suddenly. Naruto looked up from his meal as well.

She looked at the mended tear in the shirt. “It got torn while I was hunting the rabid for the stew.” She answered.

Sasuke sneered, but returned to his food.

Naruto shrugged and did the same.

She sighed. “We should hurry and get to the tower. You have been out for most of the day.”

Twin shouts of “What? A day!” Came from the two of them.

She lifted an eyebrow. “Yes a day. We have two days left, luckily I got a heaven scroll from Lee, so we only need to get a new earth scroll.”

“Wow you are awesome Sakura!” Naruto shouted.

Her eyes flickered to the entrance, she didn't know whether she hoped somebody would come in so they could take their scroll or not.

Sasuke grunted something that might be confirming Naruto's general opinion, might just be a grunt of more stew though.

She filled his bowl again.

“It shouldn't be too hard to get another scroll.” Naruto muttered.

She nodded. Hopefully it wouldn't be too hard.

- - -

Kabuto stopped at the clearing, somewhere around here Sasuke would be hidden. And somewhere around here the team from sound would have found team 7.

He noticed a sparkle on the ground. The weird thing was that he hadn't felt Sasuke's chakra spike. If he had fought the sound team he would have drawn power from the seal. Waking up to his teammates in danger should have overwhelmed his mental defenses. What little there was left of them.

He touched the ground close to the sparkle. Well it was a forehead protector. And it did appear that he had found the team from sound.

Neatly stacked on top of each other hurriedly hidden beneath a pile of leaves. Whoever did it probably didn't care much about somebody finding them, as long as nobody found them immediately.

He studied the corpses for a second. The boys were obviously poisoned, their exposed skin a sickly blue color. And only a shallow scratch as far as wounds went.

The girl, now she actually fought back, though not for long, judging by the wounds in her legs and arms. Probably shocked to see her teammates die like that. The assailant disabled her ability to move and then slit her throat. The entire battle couldn't have lasted more than a minute, judging by the blood he could make out on the clearing.

They went down hard and fast. Probably lured close to the attacker somehow.

Well that meant Sasuke wasn't tested, if he had activated the cursed seal there would be a lot more blood.

That of course left the question of who had taken out the team. Maybe a grass genin? They were famous for their use of poison. One of the few villages who actually taught their genin to make them.

But, he looked closer at Kin's wounds, the kunai were Konoha make. And really, only one ninja from Konoha would have a reason to attack the sound team with deadly force, at the moment.

He looked at the clearing again, looking for a trail to follow.

Sakura Haruno suddenly got far more interesting than he had imagined possible.
Last edited by Kirai on May 6th, 2010, 3:45 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: False Expectations [Naruto]

Unread postby Kirai » January 1st, 2010, 4:28 pm

Looks around the empty room and watches a tumble weed fly by...

No one? Not even it sucks?

Looks at everybody with shining eyes. Just a comment if this is worth editing? Pretty pretty pwease?
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Re: False Expectations [Naruto]

Unread postby Greybane » January 1st, 2010, 4:42 pm

Interesting, but I am not a particular fan of Hiding Behind the Mask stories, Sakura did have some interesting moments. Her poison use is quite well done, and I like the vial (I believe it is a suicide poison?)

Finding the rape exciting was quite...disquieting.
Odd that. It actually worked.
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Re: False Expectations [Naruto]

Unread postby Kirai » January 1st, 2010, 5:20 pm

First thanks for the comments^^ I just couldn't help myself with the begging^^

Second... rape? What rape?

Third, I wasn't actually going for hiding behind a mask. Yeah she has a few thoughts and so on that are different from canon Sakura, but it's mostly a more realistic outlook on life. And the way she acted in canon, and here before the second exam? That's her, that is the real her... or she wants that to be the real her.

Actually I want to do the opposite of the usual hiding behind the mask story. A story where the protagonist slips into the mask... though that isn't too unusual either I suppose.

As for the vial, that was actually the poison she used here. A force multiplier that would have reduced even a large groups power as the painful death of their comrades would be quite a blow to moral.
Last edited by Kirai on January 1st, 2010, 5:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: False Expectations [Naruto]

Unread postby Tempest Kitsune » January 1st, 2010, 5:25 pm

The bit involving the other boys having her strip and such. Unless you were trying to infer that she poisoned/killed the lot of them somehow. Because the way I read it it sounded like a potential rape scene to me too.
"Doesn't matter what the press says. Doesn't matter what the politicians or the mobs say. Doesn't matter if the whole country decides that something wrong is something right. This nation was founded on one principle above all else: the requirement that we stand up for what we believe, no matter the odds or the consequences. When the mob and the press and the whole world tell you to move, your job is to plant yourself like a tree beside the river of truth, and tell the whole world — "No, you move."
— Captain America

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Re: False Expectations [Naruto]

Unread postby Kirai » January 1st, 2010, 5:27 pm

That was the plan. It was supposed to look like that. Though it never got that far, as soon as the boys were in range...

On the one hand, I don't know whether this is good, since I was going for the disturbing here, on the other I also wanted to make clear that they died before they could do anything.
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Re: False Expectations [Naruto]

Unread postby Magnificate » January 1st, 2010, 5:30 pm

Second... rape? What rape?
Yep, it sounded as at least an attempted rape to me as well.
Third, I wasn't actually going for hiding behind a mask. Yeah she has a few thoughts and so on that are different from canon Sakura, but it's mostly a more realistic outlook on life. And the way she acted in canon, and here before the second exam? That's her, that is the real her... or she wants that to be the real her.
So, are you actually going for a reinterpreation of canon or a divergence fanfic?
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Re: False Expectations [Naruto]

Unread postby Tempest Kitsune » January 1st, 2010, 5:36 pm

That was the plan. It was supposed to look like that. Though it never got that far, as soon as the boys were in range...

On the one hand, I don't know whether this is good, since I was going for the disturbing here, on the other I also wanted to make clear that they died before they could do anything.
Unfortunately, you failed to make the second point clear, while fully succeeding in the first.
"Doesn't matter what the press says. Doesn't matter what the politicians or the mobs say. Doesn't matter if the whole country decides that something wrong is something right. This nation was founded on one principle above all else: the requirement that we stand up for what we believe, no matter the odds or the consequences. When the mob and the press and the whole world tell you to move, your job is to plant yourself like a tree beside the river of truth, and tell the whole world — "No, you move."
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Re: False Expectations [Naruto]

Unread postby Kirai » January 1st, 2010, 5:41 pm

Second... rape? What rape?
Yep, it sounded as at least an attempted rape to me as well.
Third, I wasn't actually going for hiding behind a mask. Yeah she has a few thoughts and so on that are different from canon Sakura, but it's mostly a more realistic outlook on life. And the way she acted in canon, and here before the second exam? That's her, that is the real her... or she wants that to be the real her.
So, are you actually going for a reinterpreation of canon or a divergence fanfic?
As I said, it was attempted rape, but only that, gotta find a way to make it clear that didn't happen, as Kitsune said.

Probably make Kabuto look at the corpses a bit closer, to show that the "fluids" mentioned previously were vomit and not that, maybe mention the clothes were still on too, might help.

It's more of a... divergence, while Sakura could have hidden all that in canon, she was a bit too innocent, even her inner self, too think about giving that innocence up.

This Sakura has lost that first tiny shred of innocence somehow and from there she got the idea of preparing for every situation she could think of. And more importantly, the idea to protect her innocence as long as possible, because at some point she would have to loose it.
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Re: False Expectations [Naruto]

Unread postby MrRigger2 » January 1st, 2010, 6:23 pm

Yeah, it definitely seemed like a rape scene to me. I thought about it, and I see where you're coming from, but if you're going for it not being a rape scene, you're going to want to clear it up a bit more. You seem to have an okay start, but the tone of the fic isn't what I particularly like.

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Re: False Expectations [Naruto]

Unread postby Kirai » January 1st, 2010, 7:07 pm

Yeah, it definitely seemed like a rape scene to me. I thought about it, and I see where you're coming from, but if you're going for it not being a rape scene, you're going to want to clear it up a bit more. You seem to have an okay start, but the tone of the fic isn't what I particularly like.

MrRigger
I'm quite suprised I wrote it like that actually. I don't like dark stories myself. And yet I write bleak horrible stuff like this.

But I really only wanted a Sakura that is as strong as she is in canon. And yet can beat almost anyone she is sent against. Not with chakra through the roof or awesome ninjutsu, but with her brain and using every dirty trick she can think of.

That was how the rape scene came about, I needed Sakura to beat them decisively and without mercy. But there's only one way she can pull that off, get them close, let them lower their guard then kill them as fast as possible.

That was the easiest, most obvious, way i could think of. Also the most emotional and worrying one. Though maybe a tad too overused.

I don't actually plan on the story having a dark tone, if that is the problem you have with it. I hope I can tune it down and replace it with some sarcasm. Also I have a nice idea for a confrontation with Danzo that could be amusing.

If i continue this, of course.
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Re: False Expectations [Naruto]

Unread postby Magnificate » January 1st, 2010, 7:20 pm

But I really only wanted a Sakura that is as strong as she is in canon. And yet can beat almost anyone she is sent against. Not with chakra through the roof or awesome ninjutsu, but with her brain and using every dirty trick she can think of.
Difficult. If you choose to slightly modify canon events you risk ending with a boring rehash. If you instead put Sakura in new situations it would be hard to avoid slipping into Super!Sakura. I don't know, maybe you could try only referencing earlier events and skipping right to the Chunnin Exam arena combat and have Sakura fight different opponents than in canon. Sakura vs. Tenten? Sakura vs. Kankuro? Or if you really want to showcase her as a skillful fighter Sakura vs. Shikamaru.
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Re: False Expectations [Naruto]

Unread postby Kirai » January 1st, 2010, 7:51 pm

But I really only wanted a Sakura that is as strong as she is in canon. And yet can beat almost anyone she is sent against. Not with chakra through the roof or awesome ninjutsu, but with her brain and using every dirty trick she can think of.
Difficult. If you choose to slightly modify canon events you risk ending with a boring rehash. If you instead put Sakura in new situations it would be hard to avoid slipping into Super!Sakura. I don't know, maybe you could try only referencing earlier events and skipping right to the Chunnin Exam arena combat and have Sakura fight different opponents than in canon. Sakura vs. Tenten? Sakura vs. Kankuro? Or if you really want to showcase her as a skillful fighter Sakura vs. Shikamaru.
I know, after I wrote this down I sat there and thought, ok and now what...

And kinda came up blank, I had an idea for a fight with Ino, that would be a lot more awesome... but there were some problems there as well, first problem would be how she got that poison I was thinking about, it was awfully specific.

So I have to come up with something interesting if I want to continue that story, though having written this might have gotten the idea out of my system^^
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Re: False Expectations [Naruto]

Unread postby Calinero » January 2nd, 2010, 4:14 am

I thought it was a good piece of writing, if you're in the mood for something with that dark a tone. If you want to make it clear that no rape actually occurred, I would suggest making a change or two to her scene sitting around the fire--the words she uses there makes it sound a lot like they had sex...the mention of...fluids, and things. -shudders- Yes, well. Anyway. It was a good bit of writing, but I'm not sure how you might develop it into a longer story.
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Re: False Expectations [Naruto]

Unread postby Phht » January 2nd, 2010, 4:42 am

You know, I never actually considered that rape actually occurred after Kabuto found the corpses. I mean, everything seemed to point that way, but when Kabuto found the corpses I actually thought that she had killed them with no rape involved. At which point I was quite relieved and thought it was somewhat clever how the story let the implied action sound like what happened until the truth is realized in Kabuto's scene.
"BTW, Phht your ability to think of a plot bunny about any situation impresses me, amuses me and horrifies me. All at the same time. Good for you!" - doc.exe
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Re: False Expectations [Naruto]

Unread postby Kirai » January 2nd, 2010, 3:54 pm

You know, I never actually considered that rape actually occurred after Kabuto found the corpses. I mean, everything seemed to point that way, but when Kabuto found the corpses I actually thought that she had killed them with no rape involved. At which point I was quite relieved and thought it was somewhat clever how the story let the implied action sound like what happened until the truth is realized in Kabuto's scene.
And that is what I was going for, keeping the believe up as long as possible, to get that feeling of relive. However I also thought it would be obvious that nothing happened, when it became clear that Sasuke was still alive, they wouldn't have any reason to keep him alive after any rape, after all.

Still, if only one person didn't come to the conclusion of no rape, then I need to change the scene with Kabuto to make it a bit more obvious.
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Re: False Expectations [Naruto]

Unread postby Kirai » January 11th, 2010, 4:57 am

Well, I went over it, fixed a few wording problems and hopefully made it a bit clearer that no rape was involved in the making of this text.

Can you confirm that or did I do it wrong again?
Spoiler: show
Expectations

- - -

Shaking slightly in terror Sakura carefully watched Zabusa. How the hell did this happen? She was a genin! Useless, weak and absolutely unable to fight a jonin class ninja like Zabusa.

This was supposed to be an easy escort mission, maybe beat up some weak bandits.

But no Naruto had to be noble, and stupid. And Sasuke had to proof that he wasn't scared either. Idiots, the both of them. Of course, she couldn't have said anything. Well she could, but she needed every scrap of respect she could get from them if she wanted to stay on the team. Wasn't hard with Naruto, but Sasuke...

If she weren't so terrified she would sigh in exasperation.

Now if anybody would ask her, they would be running in terror. Zabusa was busy keeping Kakashi imprisoned, his clones while strong probably couldn't take out all three of them, so they should be able to make a clear getaway. Except that once Zabusa didn't have to worry about them, he would kill Kakashi and then go after them. Damn.

She didn't sign up to end like this! They promised a few years of relatively easy work in the recruitment package. Well ok they didn't, but it was implied! No having to kill anybody till after the first year, or becoming chunin, whichever came first.

And now this, first mission outside of Konoha and they were faced with a mass murderer. If they survived this she would kill Tazuna herself!

The stalemate was broken by Naruto, who suddenly charged Zabusa's water clone.

“Naruto!” She heard herself scream desperately, closing her eyes, she didn't want to see the idiot die.

After a second she opened them again, Naruto groaned, getting back on his feet. The clone must have kicked him back to them, going by his new bruises.

She felt the urge to add to the bruises, that was just stupid, what had he been...

She stared at Naruto's forehead protector, he had actually managed to retrieve it. How he did it, she had no idea, but he did.

“Sasuke,” he said, “I've got a plan.”

Sakura could only stare stupidly as Sasuke nodded. They were actually going to try and fight!

Were they insane? Did they have any idea... well no probably not, though admittedly they also had little choice, it was either do or die.

She watched, as Sasuke threw his giant shuriken, watched as Zabusa easily evaded it, and the shuriken in the shadow of the first. And she watched as the first turned out to be Naruto, henged into a shuriken.

Alright, so maybe only one of them, actually was on the genin level, she knew Sasuke was about as good as a veteran genin, obsessive like he was. But Naruto apparently did have a few hidden talents... or not so hidden talents as well.

She almost grinned, that meant she could probably coast along quite nicely with the two of them, enjoy what little time she had left, of her childhood.

Naruto finished the impressive display of teamwork, throwing a kunai at Zabusa, that forced him to release Kakashi. That was the end of the fight. Kakashi used his sharingan, and here Sakura faked surprise quite well in her opinion. That Sasuke was surprised... just confirmed to her that he had no idea what exactly he was doing.

Though seeing how easily the situation had gone out of control, neither did she. Once this was over with she would have to find a way to avoid missions liable to go wrong quite as catastrophic as this one.

When the foreign ninja showed up she didn't say anything, Kakashi was keeping on his feet by willpower alone. And if the ninja thought he was caught... well she would make an ugly corpse.

- - -

So, to recap. Kakashi taught them tree walking, something Sakura had down in about half an hour, the idiots... err her teammates, had taken a day or two to do it. If Kakashi had actually wanted her to improve he would have kept her going up that three to get some stamina. Seeing as she didn't really want to improve and had already decided to keep out of the fighting she didn't complain when he send her to protect Tazuna.

She had to say, the fight that happened when Zabusa showed up was... well she wanted to say awesome, but it was really just terrifying. Especially since she couldn't see anything that was going on in the mist Zabusa summoned.

Once the mist dissipated though, she could see that Kakashi had Zabusa well in hand. Sadly the same couldn't be said about Sasuke and the other ninja, Haku, Zabusa called him.

Though if she wasn't mistaken Naruto had shown up at some point. She felt a brief spike of chakra at least.

She had stayed at Tazuna's side, pretty much doing nothing, as he wasn't of any interest to Zabusa or his underling, as long as her teammates were still alive.

She looked at the cage of ice, surrounding Sasuke, straining to make out anything. But she couldn't, she wasn't even sure if she wanted to. If the idiot died... she didn't spend that much time running after him to lose him like this. He couldn't die. And Naruto...

The ice burst, Haku came flying through one of his mirrors in a cascade of glittering ice. It was strangely beautiful, seeing the body fly, surrounded by fragments of ice.

Naruto followed, an animal-like snarl on his face. His chakra was wild, raw, evil. Sakura didn't want to know what that meant, not yet she hoped he didn't remember what he was doing, berserker seldom did, at least she hoped they didn't. It was better that way, to remain innocent at least in some fashion.

Haku's mask cracked and revealed a pretty face. Sakura nearly gaped, but one look at his eyes and any thoughts of jealousy disappeared. Haku already lost her innocence. It was like looking into the future, that was her fate, that empty look.

Shaking she looked for Sasuke, where was he? And Tazuna, she had to protect Tazuna.

Naruto, she noticed, stopped his attack on Haku. Confused if she had to guess. Good, he wouldn't kill her then. Looking at the dome she noticed that it had melted, or did it shatter when Haku lost concentration? It didn't matter, Sasuke... Sasuke was...

She looked at Tazuna, eyes wide, wordlessly begging him. He nodded and she was off.

Skidding she reached Sasuke's side. “Please be alright, please be alright...” she muttered, as a trembling hand searched for any sign of life.

She found nothing. Again, her hand searched, for a pulse, for breath.

Again she didn't find anything.

She checked again, faster this time. Her hand almost ripped one of the senbon loose. Still, she found nothing.

She noticed some water on Sasuke's face, odd had it started raining? Oh just her own tears, silly really. The dead didn't need tears, they didn't care. And for the living tears were useless as well, just a distraction. But maybe... maybe she needed this, it was her own fault after all.

Because she refused to do what was necessary. She knew she could have done something, she had carefully looked at it all. Analyzed a thousand different battles, knew the weaknesses of most ninjutsu users, genjustsu users even taijutsu was an open book to her. But she refused to use that information.

They were genin! They weren't supposed to kill. Not yet. Not in their first mission. They were supposed to not suffer that kind of mental trauma.

Wallowing in self pity she barely noticed what was going on around her. Haku was on the ground, Zabusa wasn't looking good either, so thy won. And it only cost them a teammate.

She barely managed to turn the laughter that threatened to escape into a sob, it wouldn't do to have her team, what was left of it, think she found this funny. Even if she did, on some weird level.

More people, and they wanted to fight. Wanted to kill. Looking at Sasuke's face she couldn't help it, she smiled. So that was it then? This was how she would...

Zabusa said something to Naruto, she couldn't make it out, over the pounding of her heart. Naruto threw him a kunai, what the hell? He was the reason Sasuke was dead! He was the reason she would...

He charged, charged the men who wanted to kill them. She stared in bafflement. What the hell just happened?

Wow watch him tear through them. And with only a kunai. There were worse ways to go she supposed. Watching the head of that little guy, the boss? Fly was somewhat cathartic, meant she wouldn't have to...

Zabusa dropped, mission accomplished.

Sadly the rest of the horde didn't take the message. She slowly got up from Sasuke, readying herself.

So, it was time...

Naruto created a horde of clones, shadow clones. Kakashi didn't, he used ordinary ones. Should fool the thugs though. Sakura fingered a little vial she carried around since shortly after she made genin. She spend most of her wages on it too. It was comforting though, knowing it was there. Even as she hated to think about using it.

Where did that bolt come from? It was just there, turning around she saw Inari, behind him the whole village stood, the male half at least. Makeshift weapons in hand, ready to defend their homes.

She barely dared hope, would it be enough?

She looked back, the thugs broke, ran away. She was safe. She could have kissed Inari. Well actually she was willing to do nearly everything he asked, but he didn't need to know that, and she kinda doubted he would ask even if he did.

Still this battle wasn't without loss. She stumbled back to Sasuke, and fell to her knees again, cradling him.

She couldn't stop herself, no matter how much she wanted to. Out of the corner of her eyes she could see Naruto, looking as if he wanted to cry too, as he watched her, but he didn't come closer. Probably guilty, the idiot. Didn't he know that this was what they signed up for? A quick death on the battlefield?

Granted, she had hoped to go on easy mission for a while first. But really it was a... she felt a twitch from the corpse she was holding.

She stopped moving, she stopped crying, she stopped breathing. There! Another twitch. And a groan.

Haku! He could make Zabusa look death, he could do the same to Sasuke.

She sobbed again, relive filling her heart.

“Sakura,” Sasuke coughed, “You are heavy.”

She laughed at that, laughed and cried, and if her relief was mostly for her self, for her own hearth? Well nobody needed to know that.

- - -

This had to be a joke, Sakura thought. She didn't know whether to laugh or cry, a situation she had become sadly familiar with lately.

First they were up against Orochimaru, one of the freaking Sannin! That obviously didn't go well at all.

And now these three sound genin showed up. Rambling about how they would kill Sasuke or some such.

She knew she shouldn't have agreed to enter the exams. What about her year of easing into ninja life? What about not having to kill anybody?

She eyed the three warily, for now they seemed content to taunt her, rambling on how weak she was.

Though they did slowly edge closer.

“Wha- what do yo...” She hiccuped, to look strong now would be the worst mistake she could make. She needed them close. Tears were running down her face she noted. Curiously she didn't feel afraid. Hmm actually she didn't feel anger either, or excitement. No nervousness, no shaking, besides what she forced her limbs to do. Still, she cried... and she had no idea why exactly.

One of them laughed. “We already said that didn't we? We are here to kill Sasuke. If we get to kill you and the other brat as well... hey bonus.”

Huh, nice lead in, she was afraid she would have to come up with some spiel about offering herself for Sasuke... that probably wouldn't have gone over too easy.

“Wha- wha-what? No!” She screamed, voice wavering and shrill. “Please, please! I...” she paused, seeking the eyes of the boys. “I... I'll do anything.” She almost whispered. “Just please don't kill me.”

The boys looked at each other, an ugly grin spread on their face. The girl rolled her eyes. “We don't have time for this.” She muttered, however a cruel grin did steal on her face.

“Aww why not? Not as if he would wake up anytime soon, if at all.” The other boy said, leering at Sakura, who sniffled, sobs wreaking her body. “Hehe, if you really mean it then strip already!” He commanded.

Sakura stared at him, eyes growing wide in what she hoped would be interpreted as terror. She was good at faking stuff though, her teachers rarely if ever found out about her real thoughts about them, or the people around her.

“Wha? Strip?” She stuttered, forcing her whole body to shake.

The first boy sighed. “She's useless even at being a whore.” he sneered. “Yes strip, remove your clothes.” He stepped directly in front of her and punched her, hard.

Sakura fell over, stars appearing in front of her vision. She couldn't let them hit her too often, she wouldn't be able to... better not think about it, there were emotions there!

“Yes...” She mumbled, as she struggled feebly with her clothes, pausing a few seconds when her trembling fingers reached her belt.

She noticed that the other boy also had stepped close to her. The girl watched them, a sadistic grin on her face. However, she didn't come closer. Instead she watched the surrounding area. Not that Sakura suspected her to.

“Man her tits are tiny.” One of them complained, as he began to grope her.

She closed her eyes, this was it then.

She could hear the other one shrug, as he ripped her top off. “Eh we are just gonna have some fun with her, we aren't gonna marry her or anything.”

Sakura shuddered, as she felt their hands roaming over her body. Her own hand slid down slightly.

What was going to happen was painful, painful and yet... exiting.

- - -

Sakura tended to the fire in front of her. Staring into the flames without moving a muscle. She had washed off most of the blood. There hadn't been much. Barely anything really. Most of it came from the girl's, involvement. The other fluids came from the boys... it was quite disgusting really, and much harder to wash off.

She had mended her clothes, as much as she could at any rate.

She didn't sigh, it wouldn't help. She had removed any evidence she found, she hadn't felt anything doing it. Some small part of her hoped that would change. Some part of her hoped it wouldn't. She didn't know which part to root for.

Empty eyes stared into the fire, what disgusted her the most was her own excitement, the exhilaration, the pure euphoria, the... pleasure.

Was that really her? Did she really enjoy herself? She didn't shudder, even though she wanted to. She just couldn't.

Indifferently she poked the fire.

From behind her came a groan.

She turned around and watched as Naruto slowly got up, impressive, the drug she gave him should have kept him out for a bit longer. But that was Naruto she supposed, energy through the roof and all.

She ladled some stew from the pot over the fire into a bowl and handed it to Naruto.

“Here.” She said, in a monotone, “You have been out for a while, you need some food.”

Naruto blinked and looked around. “Huh? Where are we?” He asked, as he accepted the bowl.

She shrugged. We were attacked by some weird genin from grass, don't you remember?”

He nodded, as he ate the stew. “Hmm yeah, he did something weird to...” He paused, as he looked at his stomach. “Well he did something weird to me. And... and he bit Sasuke! Gross.”

Sakura nodded, as she turned back to the fire.

Naruto sat down next to her. “Where is the bastard anyways?” He asked.

She shrugged and pointed back into the direction from where he came. “He's still out of it. Whatever the freak bit him with, it was pretty strong.” Though she was pretty sure what kept Sasuke down at the moment was the sleeping drug she administered earlier, there was really no need for them to see her cleaning up.

Naruto grinned nastily. “Ha! See I'm already up and he's still out of it. So who's the better ninja?”

Sakura nodded absently. “If you say so Naruto.” She said.

Naruto blinked, and looked at her. “Err did you just agree with me Sakura?”

She didn't bother looking at him. “No, that was sarcasm.” She stated flatly.

“Oh...” He muttered, then continued to eat his rabid and ground soldier pill, stew. Nothing better to get the sleeping drug out of your system really.

Naruto was through his third bowl when Sasuke stirred. He didn't groan, he was too well trained. Maybe he would have noticed that he was drugged too... but he would just write it off as an effect of whatever Orochimaru did.

He stumbled to them, staring at the fire. “We shouldn't have a fire burning.” He croaked, staring at Sakura as if she were stupid.

She looked at him, raising an eyebrow. “We are in a cave, I've hidden the entrance. Nobody will see the fire. If somebody does come in their vision will be hindered more by the fire than ours by the night.” She explained, then handed him a bowl of rabid, pill stew.

Sasuke nodded and accepted the bowl. Hungrily he scarfed down the food, faster even than Naruto.

Sakura just continued to stare into the fire. Though she did notice that his face twitched every now and again. Probably pain from the weird seal. It pulsed in time with the twitches.

“What happened to your shirt?” He asked suddenly. Naruto looked up from his meal as well.

She looked at the mended tear in the shirt. “It got torn while I was hunting the rabid for the stew.” She answered.

Sasuke sneered, but returned to his food.

Naruto shrugged and did the same.

She sighed. “We should hurry and get to the tower. You have been out for most of the day.”

Twin shouts of “What? A day!” Came from the two of them.

She lifted an eyebrow. “Yes a day. We have two days left, luckily I got a heaven scroll from Lee, so we only need to get a new earth scroll.”

“Wow you are awesome Sakura!” Naruto shouted.

Her eyes flickered to the entrance, she didn't know whether she hoped somebody would come in so they could take their scroll or not.

Sasuke grunted something that might be confirming Naruto's general opinion, might just be a grunt of more stew though.

She filled his bowl again.

“It shouldn't be too hard to get another scroll.” Naruto muttered.

She nodded. Hopefully it wouldn't be too hard... or maybe it should be harder, she rubbed the bruise on her stomach, where one of the sound genin had hit her. It had been too easy that last time. Wasn't it supposed to be hard, your first time?

- - -

Kabuto stopped at the clearing, somewhere around here Sasuke would be hidden. And somewhere around here the team from sound would have found team 7.

He noticed a sparkle on the ground. The weird thing was that he hadn't felt Sasuke's chakra spike. If he had fought the sound team he would have drawn power from the seal. Waking up to his teammates in danger should have overwhelmed his mental defenses. What little there was left of them.

He touched the ground close to the sparkle. Well it was a forehead protector. And it did appear that he had found the team from sound.

Neatly stacked side by side, hurriedly hidden beneath a pile of leaves. Whoever did it probably didn't care much about somebody finding them, as long as nobody found them immediately.

He studied the corpses for a second. The boys were obviously poisoned, their exposed skin a sickly blue color, clothes stained with vomit. And only a shallow scratch as far as wounds went.

The girl, now she might have tried to fight back, though not for long, judging by the wounds in her legs and arms. Probably shocked to see her teammates die like that. The assailant disabled her ability to move and then slit her throat. The entire battle couldn't have lasted more than a minute, judging by the blood he could make out on the clearing.

They went down hard and fast. Probably lured close to the attacker somehow. A quick examination confirmed his suspicions. Close to a little ditch in the ground he could see vomit, but no blood, no signs of a struggle either. A bit farther away he found where Kin went down, there was remarkably little blood over the clearing.

He frowned.

That meant Sasuke wasn't tested, if he had activated the cursed seal there would be a lot more blood.

That of course left the question of who had taken out the team. Maybe a grass genin? They were famous for their use of poison. One of the few villages who actually taught their genin to make them.

But, he looked closer at Kin's wounds, the kunai were Konoha make. And really, only one ninja from Konoha would have a reason and the means, to attack the sound team with deadly force, at the moment.

He looked at the clearing again, looking for a trail to follow.

Sakura Haruno suddenly got far more interesting than he had imagined possible.
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Re: False Expectations [Naruto]

Unread postby Acrewood » February 19th, 2010, 11:06 am

During the first Kabuto scene I didn't think rape anymore either, which is good, because I really couldn't tell the difference between the old and the new one. I really like the story, It's really one of the few dark ones I've seen that doesn't either end up in Emo or Super! territory. I say continue full steam ahead.
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Re: False Expectations [Naruto]

Unread postby Kirai » February 19th, 2010, 11:52 am

I did, currently on chapter 4^^

You can read it on my ff acount.

Sadly(or not, depending^^) I kinda lost the dark in the most recent chapter, just can't think of anything that would really lend itself to darkness and all and in the current situation.

Maybe the next chapter again^^ All dark all the time is bad anyways right?
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Re: Expectations of Development [Naruto]

Unread postby Kirai » May 6th, 2010, 3:47 am

Ok in the middle of writing chapter 8, it's nowhere done. But, I just wrote a szene that I just love how it turned out and I jsut have to post it.
Spoiler: show
Expectations of Development

--o--

Titel

--o--

Once again Sakura woke up in a hospital bed. This time however, without any pain and well rested.

Which, she decided, made this a good morning. The fact that she didn't have any nightmares today just added to it.

Now, on to the more important questions. How did she get here? She remembered getting beaten into the ground by Kakashi, Anko and Jirayia, then stumbling through the streets of Konoha, trying to make her way to the hospital.

She had made slow progress, since moving hurt. Until she came across Hinata, who had carried her the rest of the way. Or dragged, that part was kinda hazy.

She looked at the ceiling, enjoying the soft mattress beneath her. Ahh heaven.

Ok. Hinata had, after a brief chat with the reception desk, carried her to this room.

And the second she hit the bed Sakura had been out like a light.

Mystery solved. She pushed her sheets back and stood up. She still wore her clothes from yesterday. Her clothes form yesterday she trained all day in. She didn't bother checking, she just had to be reeking.

She glanced around the room, on a chair at the end of the bed sat a little pile of clothes, upon closer inspection it turned out to be a uniform. A little not on it proclaimed it borrowed to her, for today and that they expected it back at the end of the week. Cleaned please.

She grinned and made her way to the little shower stall. That was nice of them.

--o--

After a hot shower and clean clothes Sakura felt even better. This day shaped up to be very nice already.

She stretched and walked out of her room.

She still had an hour or two, before she had to show up for training, breakfast sounded good and she should probably tell her parents that she was alright. And drop of her clothes, couldn't forget that.

She walked through the hospital slowly, listening to the sounds.

It surprised her slightly how quite it was in the morning. But then, it hadn't been exactly loud when she visited the last time, just a bit more background noise. She stopped in front of a door, not exactly sure why.

She frowned, something about last night?

Carefully she pushed the door open. On the bed slept a blond girl. A familiar blond girl.

So that's why sh stopped. She remembered Temari from yesterday. Weird, shouldn't she be at home? In her own village? It had been a week already, surely they would want her to be close to home?

Especially since she had lost. No reason to stay here at all. Unless you counted being the daughter of the Kazekage as a reason. A daughter Sakura had nearly eviscerated...

Maybe an apology would be in order? And a little talk, maybe it would help with her nightmares?

Yes, that sounded like a good idea.

So Sakura settled down in one of the visitor chairs, waiting for Temari to wake up.

--o--

Temari woke up to a foreign presence in her room. It couldn't be one of her doctors, she had their presence memorized. Not Kankuro either and Gaara never visited anyway. Baki had returned home so he was out as well, never-mind that she would have recognized him as well.

Maybe a new doctor? She continued to fake sleep. She didn't like staying in Konoha, but she had to admit, their doctors were top notch. She could barely feel her wound anymore, after only one week. In Suna that would have taken at least a month to heal.

They just didn't believe in coddling their ninja as much as Konoha. She might have to bring that up with her father, a week of recovery time meant three weeks of active ninja duty more.

That still left her with the question of who. Who had invaded her room?

Maybe a sound nin? With a message for her?

“Could you stop pretending to sleep? Your eyes move like crazy and you twitched just now.” A female voice interrupted her thoughts, a voice she recognized.

Her eyes shot open and the girl who had send her to the hospital sprung into view, calmly sitting in the chair at the end of her bed.

She looked back at Temari, her head slightly cocked, though she couldn't hide her nervousness entirely. Biting her lower lip was a dead give away.

“What do you want?” Temari asked, making her voice as cold as possible. It hid her fear better.

Since the fight she had nightmares. And every time she saw a girl that seemed to be a pathetic weakling pass her room she twitched. Seeing Haruno's face superimpose on the other girls.

Haruno's face had changed as soon as Temari opened her mouth, she banished her nervousness and replaced it with a cold sneer.

Temari flashed back to their battle, the same cold sneer had appeared at the end, just before Haruno rammed her kunai into Temari's stomach.

She gulped and barely avoided twitching back.

Sometimes, in her nightmares the proctor didn't stop Haruno. Instead he declared her killing Temari as deserved punishment for the planned invasion.

And sometimes he just wasn't there, just her and Haruno. And in the beginning Temari dominated the fight. Until she closed in, closed in and taunted her opponent.

Then it all changed and suddenly Temari lay crumbled on the floor, bleeding profoundly, while Haruno stood silently above her a twisted smile on her face, a kunai above her head, ready to cut Temari open from head to toe.

“I want to...” Haruno opened her mouth but trailed of. She looked out of the window, frowning. Whatever she wanted to say it apparently wouldn't come easy to her.

“What? Twist the knife some more? Taunt me because I lost?” Temari spat.

She would be doing it. If she had won the way Haruno had. Luring a superior and foolishly arrogant opponent into giving her a perfect opportunity to end the fight.

She should have seen through that transparent display. It had been way too over the top. Nobody would throw herself into attacks like that if they didn't have a plan. But she had dismissed the girl as unimportant and stupid. And hadn't looked for the attack she should have known, would be coming.

“No.” Haruno said, so quietly she almost whispered.

“What then? Come to... come to...” Shit, no idea why else the bitch would show up.

She shifted uncomfortable on her chair.

“I... kinda, wanted...” She sighed. “Fuck, I wanted to apologize alright?” She finally got out, her entire face red.

“Apologize?” Temari asked, suppressing the snort she could feel coming.

Damn, but the leaf were soft, incredibly so. Back home nobody would have gotten the idea to apologize for winning!

“Hehehe... hahahahaha!” She couldn't help herself, she just had to laugh, it just came bubbling out. She had been beaten by an idiot! Utterly beaten by some soft weak girl.

She shook her head. “Damn, how could I loose to you? This has to be the most embarrassing moment in my life.” She muttered.

“What the fuck is wrong with you Sabakuno?” Haruno sneered. “I come to apologize and you laugh.”

“Why wouldn't I? It was a fight, you saw a chance to win and took it. Risky gamble, but you pulled it off. And now you apologize to your enemy. How is that not funny?” Damn, she felt the giggles come on already.

“You could have died!” She shouted, almost desperately.

“So? Not as if I couldn't day every day I'm around my brother.” Temari shrugged. Once you hung around Gaara a few weeks death became something of a constant companion. You always hoped it would ignore you for just a little while longer.

“What do you mean?” Haruno stared at her, wide eyes and her mouth opened in horrified shock.

“Oh not much, just that my brother is a bloodthirsty psychopath.” She shrugged, seeing the dawning realization come over her guest face, as she quickly went through the implications, she would have to fight him, maybe, was damn satisfying.

Haruno narrowed her eyes for a second and smirked at her, shakily. Oh false bravado, how enjoyable you were.

“I don't believe you.” She snorted, turning her head just a little bit away, enough to avoid eye contact.

“He'll kill anybody you send against him. There is nothing you can do.” Temari said sweetly. “Best thing to do would be to give up. Your precious crush.” He let's see how you like having that thrown in your face bitch. “Should also give up. He has no chance to win.”

Sakura glared at her. Heh, so she had at least some feelings for the boy.

“Bullshit. Sasuke will beat him, he's the best rookie of the year.” She nearly, very nearly shouted.

“Eh not enough against Gaara, princes.” The girl flinched at the barb, but managed to get herself under control again fast.

“Why? Because he's your brother? Please, just because he's the son of the Kazekage doesn't mean he's that much better than anybody else. I managed to beat you after all.” Haruno sneered at her.

Ok, so the cat had some claws, even outside the battlefield.

“No, not because he's the son of the Kazekage... or maybe because he's the son. But not in the way you think.” Damn, she was just glad it hadn't been her...

“Huh, what do you mean?” Haruno looked like a confused child like that, so goddamn innocent. No matter how tough she made herself appear. In the end she was just a child.

“He's a monster, Gaara I mean. My father made sure of that.” She chuckled as the other girl recoiled in horror.

“What? What did he do?” She asked, tears shining in her eyes.

“He sealed a demon in my brother.” She smirked, that should give the little... fuck!

Haruno's face had gone blank, just a second after Temari had realized what she just said.

“A demon eh? Interesting.” Haruno muttered, all traces of Innocence gone from her face, instead she looked calculating.

“Damn it, how could I fall for the same thing again!” Temari muttered to herself.

“Because you mistake compassion for weakness.” Haruno shrugged, as she got up from her chair. “I doubt you will tell me what his demon does?” She looked expectantly at her, but she wouldn't get any answer.

“You wish bitch.” She spat.

“Heh.” Haruno shrugged, walking to the door. There she stopped and looked over her shoulder. “By the way, if you wanted to defeat a demon, that came rampaging through your village. What would you do?” She asked.

“Huh? What the hell is that... about...?” She trailed off. “No... way...” Her eyes widened.

“So how many tails does your demon have? Ours has nine.” And with a horrible smirk Haruno left the room.

Temari sat in her bed, shivering. Konoha had the nine tails! Konoha had the nine tails! How the fuck were they supposed to beat that?

She whimpered, where ever they kept their Jinchuriku, as soon as Gaara transformed they would bring it out. And then... then... she had to tell Baki, the plan had just gone from a sure win to a horrible, horrible gamble.

How could father have overlooked this? The nine tails destroyed? If you could turn it into a weapon?

Konoha soft? They used that reputation for softness like a weapon. A lie that made their enemies underestimate them, all the while they gathered weapons like the nine tails, hidden from view, only brought out when they needed it.

--o--

Sakura leaned back against the wall. A demon. Gaara had a demon inside of him. Fuck. How to beat that? Could she beat that? Could anyone?

And... what about the Kyuubi?

“He sealed a demon in my brother.” Temari's words rang through her head again and again.

Seals could do that? Why had her teachers all been so worried about Naruto's seal? What would happen if something went wrong with it? They never had bothered to explain.

And Naruto didn't want to explain either. Not that they had a chance to ask him for an explanation yet.

Her breathing came fast and harsh. Hyperventilating. She had to get herself under control.

And did she just tell Temari that they had the nine tails under control? Well, it might be true... for a given value of control if Naruto did turn out to be the one the nine tails had been sealed into.

She stumbled through the halls of the hospital.

“Don't play with him, he's bad news.”

She had heard that from a lot of adults, when talking about Naruto. Always, she had assumed it had been because of his pranks. But now... now she had a better theory. Damn.

She leaned against the wall, she felt like throwing up.

Naruto was... Naruto...

No, he couldn't be the fox! Just couldn't be. The fox was a monster, full of hate and lust for dead. Naruto had been horrified by the revelation, that she had enjoyed killing those bastards.

She would make a better Kyuubi than Naruto.

So, so he couldn't be the Kyuubi.

She nodded. And the Hokage would never let him become a ninja, if there was any chance he was the fox, right?

Right!

Still, she needed to know more. The adults wouldn't talk, they hadn't for 12 years, they wouldn't start now.

Which left... she smiled fondly, the library. Even if she hadn't gone there in a while, it still was one of her favorite places.

She pushed herself off the wall. She would have maybe an hour, to find a book about demons and sealing them. Not much, especially since most information would probably be restricted... but, before she confronted Naruto, she would need some more info.

--o--

Sasuke groaned as he pushed himself out of bed.

He hurt all over, not that he minded. In fact, he reveled in it.

Finally somebody pushed him to his limits and beyond. Going up against Jirayia had shown him just how weak he still was. But, it also showed him where he could go. The old man had played with them even more than Kakashi, again and again fooling them with illusions, not genjutsu mind, but simply the illusion that they had managed to corner him.

And then, at the last second, he broke out the pain, beat them all back merciless. Shattered Sasuke's believe in his speed and pushed him harder than ever, in order to escape form the pain Jirayia's fists promised.

He worked the kinks out of his shoulders. And padded into his kitchen.

He frowned. Since a week ago, whenever he wandered into the kitchen he felt... disappointed.

As if he missed something.

--o--

Libido stood his ground, the position provided him with a choke point, only two Itachi's could attack him at once here. And against two he could prevail. For a while at least.

He glanced back, at the broken and beaten figure.

Family. He found Family in one of the fortresses dotting the wasteland.

He had managed to sneak in, past the patrols and guards manning it. He had hoped to find some food, lately there had been little to go around. Instead he found her, in one of the dungeons.

Beaten, abused... and worse... he tried not to think about it.

At first look she seemed to be dead. But, once he got closer... she shuddered, ever so slightly.

He couldn't have just left her there. Some of the blood had been fresh.

So he grabbed her and made his escape.

He looked different now too, in the last few days he had grown. No longer a little boy, he looked like a teen now. Strong and proud. He could hold his own against two Itachi's easily. Sadly he still couldn't fight an army of them.

And they had noticed his escape with Family.

From there it had become a mad dash, interrupted only by the occasional desperate battle.

Finally he had reached the pass of awkward mornings, where he decided to make his stand. If he could just hold out long enough Family might wake up. After a quick glance any hope for a quick recovery had been shattered.

Family simply laid on the ground, barely breathing.

But, he had committed himself to this now and escape just ceased to be an option.

He looked over the mass of Itachi's. His worst loss would probably come today. Beaten back into the ground, like so many times before.

He chuckled, still if he could somehow make Family escape... it would be worth it.

Then he saw him. Pride, wading through the Itachi's. His goal clear, eliminate the pest who dared use him.

Shit, he could beat an Itachi, even two. Against Pride, who could beat every Itachi present? No chance, none at all.

Pride loosened his sword, frowning angrily at Libido.

Damn, damn, damn. So, this was it. Back to the beginning again. Scavenging to survive, running away or getting beaten again and again.

He wouldn't cry, it wouldn't help.

He deflected an attack from the Itachi to his right, slipped into his guard and eviscerated him with a quick slash.

Spun around, blocked the attack form the other Itachi and rammed his sword into the creatures chest.

Which left him utterly undefended, as Prides sword came down on his head.

He smiled as he watched Family. At least he would die before her. He closed his eyes.

Metal met metal in a sharp clash, ringing in his ears. He felt no pain though.

Slowly he opened his eyes. The Itachi's had pulled back, and Pride growled angrily at... Libido stared at the girl in front of him. Pink hair, billowing in the wind, a sword, engrave with the name Naruto in her hand.

Teamwork had arrived.

He laughed, he couldn't help himself, Teamwork! He never thought she would ever help him. Last time he saw her Pride had lopped of her head. He had thought that would be the last time he saw her.

But here she stood, stronger than ever. She towered over pride smirked at the Itachi's and beckoned them to get closer.

“You ready Libido?” She asked and he could hear the grin in her voice.

He grinned himself he realized. “Yeah, let's send them back to hell.”

--o--
Last edited by Kirai on May 6th, 2010, 4:45 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Expectations of Development [Naruto]

Unread postby Phht » May 6th, 2010, 4:26 am

“What the fuck is wrong with you Subaru?” Haruno sneered.
I don't think "Subaru" is part of Temari's name. I could be wrong though!

Otherwise, mwahahaha. I <3 the hospital scenes, especially Sakura's parting words.
"BTW, Phht your ability to think of a plot bunny about any situation impresses me, amuses me and horrifies me. All at the same time. Good for you!" - doc.exe
Play Billy vs Snakeman.
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Naruto RP: Higure Yuuhi (Sp Jonin, age 20, Konoha)
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Re: Expectations of Development [Naruto]

Unread postby Kirai » May 6th, 2010, 4:44 am

Thanks for the catch, writing this mostly on a train, so no net to double check.
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Re: Expectations of Development [Naruto]

Unread postby Dechstreme » May 6th, 2010, 10:38 am

"Sabakuno" isn't a last name either. We are never told the last name of the sand siblings. "Sabaku no Gaara" means Gaara of the Desert, which is a nickname/title rather than a name.
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Re: Expectations of Development [Naruto]

Unread postby Kirai » May 6th, 2010, 10:47 am

Eh, close enough^^

I need to use something more distant than first name, but not an insult, and since she doesn't have a last name I can make one up.

I'm open to suggestions though.
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Re: Expectations of Development [Naruto]

Unread postby Dechstreme » May 6th, 2010, 12:31 pm

I think calling her Miss is distant enough.
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