Building a Villain

[Calinero]

I recently dove back into the world of fanfiction, after a relatively long stint of writing only original fiction and Call of Cthulhu roleplaying games. I think the latter have had an influence on me, because the current Harry Potter fanfic I am working (Lost Souls, on fanfiction.net) is definitely a horror story. It centers on an institute that houses the soulless victims of the Dementor's Kiss as they rot away. Since this is a horror story, of course some things begin to go wrong.

Fortunately, this idea has been bouncing around in my head for nearly a year and remains strong, and I have had plenty of time to think about my characters and what is going to happen. This makes it seem less likely that I'll run into any of my traditional issues with weak characterization or losing enthusiasm halfway through. My problem, however, is that one character isn't as fleshed out as I would like him to be. He is essentially the only real human villain of the story, though others will provide obstacles (the real villains are the dementors.)

All I know about the character (Brian) so far is that he is the brother of a man who is currently inside the Institute (Wyatt). Wyatt was caught by the owners of a house he was robbing during the robbery, and in a fight that broke out he killed them. He was apprehended by the wizarding authorities and given the Dementor's kiss. Brian, his brother, has been his accomplice on multiple occasions, though through either luck or intelligence he has avoided being caught. He is ostensibly visiting the Institute to give his last farewells to his brother, but in reality he is coming to retrieve some of the loot from his brother's last robbery. Wyatt hid the goods inside him to be retrieved later with a spell--the perfect way of smuggling goods, or so he thought. Unfortunately for him, he was arrested before he could remove them. Now they are waiting there uselessly, and Brian has bills to pay...so here he comes. Later, however, when the dementors have trapped the staff and visitors inside the Institute, he becomes dangerous in his desperation.

As you can see, I have his background and role in the plot more or less sorted out. My problem is, I can't figure out what his personality should be like. Should he be a cold and calculating criminal, ready to ruthlessly do whatever it takes to get the job done? Should he be hotheaded and impetuous, ready to lose his cool at the first sign of trouble or fly into a rage over the slightest insult? I don't know what would be the most effective, and am looking for input. I don't expect anyone to be able to give me the perfect answer, as you aren't as familiar with the story as me. Still, any advice on character concepts that have worked for you, or any other ideas would be appreciated.

[Tempest Kitsune]

Hmmm. For the type of set-up you're describing, I think that a cool-headed thief would last longer than a hot-headed one. If these two were experienced crooks, I'd wager that they'd learned to control their emotions, to not let themselves be distracted after setting a goal on a heist, and to know their limits and not attempt to overstep them, unless the rewards are well and truly worth it.

[QuoteMyFoot]

I think if you went for the cold-hearted thief, he'd end up being a Complete Monster... assuming that he baits the dementors with other people so he can get away. Which is what I'm going to assume he would do. I mean, that could still work, but he'd end up being a worse guy than the dementors, and if they're the main villains... well, it could be somewhat distracting. Also, sneaking into a facility for holding wizards and using magic to obtain stolen goods? Doesn't strike me as something the cold-hearted thief would do. I mean, the facility MUST be prepared for situations like this, and have some form of anti-magic security or something.

Personally, I think someone a little bit more hot-headed would work. Someone who would be desperate to pull off something like this when it might not work, and then paranoid enough NOT to work with the other wizards/witches to escape the dementors (patronus is difficult for full-grown wizards/witches by canon, IIRC, but there must be SOMEBODY who can pull off a decent one), and then cowardly enough to actually let another human have their soul sucked out. Or leaving them so that that happens. Assuming that's what happens. >>;

Just something to think about. Oh, and by the way, I'm not sure if you're using HP elements in America or if this is going to be set in the HP-verse (which is to say, Britain). If you are setting it in Britain, I'd reccommend changing Wyatt's name. It's not very, well... British.

Hope this helps?

[spudman]

How about a thief that's normally a cool customer and manages to stay a cold, brutal *#$%#^d for a time. But between the Dementors and some other pressure he's feeling just leads to him unraveling. Little twitches at first and progressively getting worse till he's a hotheaded nut. Or he could just snap all at once at the worst possible time for everyone else.

[Calinero]

Hmmm...I can see what you mean about a cold-hearted criminal becoming a Complete Monster. That could be distracting from the Dementors, yes...but then again, the dementors are a pretty faceless villain. The main reason I included a human villain was to provide an antagonist that was a bit more relatable, in addition to the dementors--which are almost like a force of nature.

I think I'm just going to have to find a good balance between the two. He'll be relatively calm while he has a plan, but as soon as things start going wrong, his composure begins to crack...then he'll start making mistakes, and panic more, and things will escalate. Which is a lot like what spudman said. So, thank you, spudman. And everyone else who contributed, for that matter. Anyone else who still has ideas, though, feel free to say so.

On the subject of security, I want to mention that this place is not terribly well funded. It's going to have some anti-apparation wards and wards sufficient to keep dementors out, but it's not too concerned with the idea of wizardly theft. After all, what do they have that anyone would want to steal? I suppose they might be concerned with grieving families of victims of some of the Death Eaters in the Institute, but overall there wouldn't be much to fear from wizards.