A Naruto Nanoha crossover idea

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A Naruto Nanoha crossover idea

Unread postby Flux_Blade » February 12th, 2010, 9:30 pm

Yeah, I know I'm follow the crowd, but this idea wasn't leaving me alone, so I was hoping to get it out so I can get back to working on other fics. So this is the beginning that I probably won't touch for a while. Also, italics is telepathy.
Spoiler: show
The thirteen-year-old boy stood stiffly as he felt the teleportation pull him from the Arthra to non-administrative planet 195, where the ship’s sensors had detected a major unknown source of magic. The many trees grabbed his attention as he scanning around and once satisfied that none of the natives were around hidden from the sensors nearby, he reported,
“This is Enforcer Chrono reporting in, has the target started moving?”
“Ah, Chrono, are you happy that the Captain finally gave you a solo mission?” The voice added a giggle at the end as Chrono tried to control his scowl, he should not let distractions get to him. Even if no one can see him, it was the principle of it. Then again, a couple of worlds did have magic that would let them hide from Mid-Childa mages. That had been an interesting scenario to deal with at the academy.
“Amy, has the target moved?”
“No, it has not, it is 500 meters from your position. However, we have noticed a few bursts in energy, however, nothing new has appeared.”
“Understood, do I have permission to engage?”
“Captain Lindy has given you permission to use your discretion, just try to avoid contact with the locals.”
“Have you finally determined what the signal is finding?”
“It seemed like a summoning device, but it seems to be more of a storage device, I wish I had access to the Infinity Library right now to double check but I suspect this might be the first time the power has been accessed.” He took off while she complained, avoiding flying to keep himself less noticeable, his hand clenched around a card. The trees definitely seemed as if they were planted to confuse outsiders. Fortunately, it seems to more to distract away from something else besides where the target was. It almost seemed like it worked because he had magic, if it wasn’t a non-administrative planet, he would have suggested someone come and study this phenomenon. At least nothing seemed to be around, thus his travel was unhindered.
“I’m sure of it now, Chrono, the signal is coming from a device that has both storage and sealing capacities, it seems that it is supposed to drain energy from the captured target to boost someone else.” Amy explained as he kept his focus in front of him, it seems that perhaps a weapon was being tested today. If that was the case, then this was important to determine how strong the weapon was. Because if this signal was a controlled attempt and it did not reach the threshold for danger, it was out of their hands to do anything except to leave as quickly and stealthy as possible. However, with only one being probably there, it seemed unlikely, unless they really expected problems.
Four minutes after reaching the planet, he felt an odd magical aura in front of him. “S2U, battle form.” The card transformed into a black staff as he positioned his hands on it while hiding behind one of the larger trees. “Any other signals, Amy?”
“Yes, there seems to be an area effect engaged, however, it does not seem to do anything to sensors or even react to them.” Amy commented as Chrono could image her stare at the screen while taping her cheek.
“I’ll keep my guard up.” Peeking around his hiding spot, he noticed a shorter child standing there, grinning, with a rolled-up scroll on his back.
“Amy, I found a child and a scroll, though there is a building nearby, was the signal coming from the child? Or the building?”
“It seems like the scroll and the child are reacting to each other. Unless the two are a decoy but that would only make sense if they knew about us. Wait, don’t go out there! Two more people are coming in, much weaker signals.” Amy warned.
“Understood.” Chrono watched as the first person appear, the grin on the man’s face forced.
“…I found you…” the man declared as Chrono took in the sight that he was worn out from his stance and his breathing.
“Hey, I found the nose-bleeder.” Chrono stared at the boy while the man yelled at him.
“Amy, it sounds as though the boy has people looking for him, still not enough information to know if it is because of the scroll.” As he kept listening, it seems that the boy, whose name was Naruto, was told by a Mizuki that if he found the scroll and learned a technique off of it, he could graduate from somewhere. The man flinched at the explanation and then shoved the boy away right before sharp weapons slammed into him, pinning him against the building.
Chrono watched as the attacker appeared, his eyes glued to the scroll as the other man was pulling the weapons out of him. “It seems that someone tried to trick the boy into getting the scroll. The scroll seems to have forbidden techniques on it.” The one named Mizuki mentioned how a demon fox was sealed inside Naruto, as Chrono clenched his staff. This man loathed and feared the boy. “It seems that the boy has been quite neglected if this Mizuki is to be believed.” He theorized at Mizuki’s continuation of the story, especially if someone was watching them and not acting to protect the child. Unless the watcher was a considerable distance away which meant the protection around the boy was inadequate.
“Chrono, the signal is starting to increase rapidly!” Amy worriedly informed him as Mizuki grabbed a giant throwing weapon and started spinning it rapidly.
“Iruka is the same!! He actually hates you!!” Mizuki exclaimed as Chrono identified the other man as Iruka. He could see the boy’s fear start to transform into rage, and if Iruka was only here to protect the scroll…
“Nobody will ever accept you!!” Mizuki continued as he pulled back to hurl the weapon as Chrono took off from his hiding spot. “That scroll was used to seal you up!!” The weapon sped away from Mizuki as he grinned manically.
“Round shield.” The large throwing weapon found its path intercepted by the newly created shield in front of Chrono, who was standing in front of Naruto.
“Who the hell are you?” No one moved as Chrono kept his staff at the ready, though he did notice that Iruka was a few steps closer than earlier, it seems that Mizuki was lying or Iruka had a recent change of opinion about Naruto.
“For you, it doesn’t matter, you first threaten someone that seems to have suffered for your safety and then attempt to kill him. I cannot allow you to succeed.” Chrono was cycling through his options, as he did not know how fast this enemy was, after all, Iruka had nearly reached Naruto with a bit of injuries, though they seemed mostly superficial.
“You think a fancy weapon can protect the demon? He’ll destroy you with your back turned!” Interesting, he was either trying to get Naruto to run, or get him to waver.
“No, this boy would not. If he really was a demon, it sounds like he would have attempted to have killed everyone in the area already.” He heard the gasp behind him as Mizuki narrowed his eyes at him. “And yes, I can defeat you without worry.” The glare got hotter as Mizuki started to move his hands in front of him.
“Stinger Snipe.” S2U spoke as a magical blast of blue energy flew from it as it rushed at Mizuki who quickly vacated the branch he was on, which found itself obliterated.
“Too bad that missed,” Mizuki mocked as he landed. He grabbed the second large throwing weapon on his back as he sprinted toward Chrono while spinning the weapon while grasping it in the middle, as Chrono smiled and waved his staff in front of him. The energy missile had finished circling around and rushed back towards the group. Right before Mizuki reached the two, the blast slammed into his back, dropping the man with a gasp. Chrono turned around to see Naruto and Iruka in different states of shock.
“This is Chrono, has the increased spike of the energy passed?”
“Yes, though the energy is still pretty high. Does the child still have the scroll?”
“Yes, he does, I’ll try to get the scroll away from him now.” He responds as he turned back to Mizuki, making sure he was not attempting to play possum.
“Chrono, I suggest that you try to convince Naruto to come with us, it does not sound healthy for him there. And if this demon is dangerous, we should be able to neutralize it.” The captain ordered, at least she took the situation with proper decorum, he thought.
“How did you do this?” Iruka questioned as he moved closer to Naruto, who was still sitting on the ground, either that or he could throw sound as a distraction. He determined that Iruka did not consider Mizuki a threat and thus slowly turned to the other green vest man while lowering his staff. He knew that the man would probably be the largest obstacle and he had to hurry, he doubted his presence would go unnoticed by the watcher.
“It is a technique similar to what you call ninjustu, I assume, I use this to channel the attack,” he gestures with the staff while explaining. “Can you now answer one of mine? Is this Nine-Tailed Fox sealed by a technique on the scroll?” The man hesitated but did not respond, he did not know if it was his age or the village the man was a part of keeping from answering. “I see.” Turning away from the man and looking at the similar aged boy, “You’re name is Naruto, correct?” The one questioned nodded rapidly. “I believe I know someone that could remove this Nine-Tailed Fox from you without hurting you. But you would have to come with me.” At that, the man started to hunch up.
“Wait, the Kyuubi could destroy mountains with one of its tails, you can’t let it out, there was a reason that our Hokage couldn’t kill it.”
“Something that can destroy mountains easily is something within our ability to deal with. Trust me, Naruto, we would not do anything to let this Kyuubi control you or injure you.” Naruto’s eyes went wide as Iruka rocked back on his heels at the statement. He glanced at his device, as he thought, “S2U, scan the information on the scroll.” The device flashed a weak light in response. While he knew that it was not something that was completely true, something that powerful would be difficult to subdue, however, the seal seems to be working, thus it would not be a problem, especially if they had the information on how the technique used.
“Could you teach me how you did that awesome justu?” Iruka closed his mouth as Naruto blurted out his request.
“You are talking about Stinger Snipe?’ Chrono clarified as the boy nodded furiously.
“I probably cannot,” he saw the boy look down, “but I know a few people that could and will ask them to.” He hedged as moved his gaze to Iruka, who slumped at Naruto’s question.
“The signal has dropped to below danger levels, good job Chrono.” Amy commented as Chrono smiled. He watched as Iruka grabbed Naruto by the shoulders as he gave him a stern look before instructing,
“Have you ever thought he might be just like Mizuki, you can’t trust people just because they say they’ll be nice to you.” Chrono noticed how Iruka had positioned himself so that if he tried something, the man would see it. Naruto started to scratch the back of head before looking up at the man.
“His eyes aren’t like Mizuki and the others, they’re warm.” Iruka stiffed as Naruto looked back at the ground.
“Naruto, are you sure that you want to go?” Iruka questioned as he gave Chrono another look over.
“Of course, Iruka, I’ll get to learn awesome techniques and show everyone, besides…” he paused before looking Iruka straight in the eye, “if they can take care of the Kyuubi, I can finish what the fourth started. Doesn’t the Hokage do whatever it takes to protect the village?” Iruka smiled as he ruffled his student’s hair. Chrono finally transformed S2U back into its card form.
“What would you do with the Kyuubi if you removed it?” Iruka asked as he kept his hand on his student’s head.
“It would be stored in a magically seal that would be kept away from everyone, besides where I am from, the name Kyuubi means nothing. I doubt anyone will come here and thus never know why it is important. We should probably go, as it seems that some others are coming, and it would be better if the least amount of people saw me.” Iruka hunched his shoulders and glared at the boy.
“Hey, Iruka, tell the old man I’m on a super-secret training mission and I’ll be back after getting the fox taken care of.” Naruto helpfully added with a smile, which caused Iruka to sigh and scratch his forehead under the protector.
“Naruto, you surprised me yet again, and I’m proud to call you one of my students.” His jaw dropped at the comment as he started to rub at his eyes.
“Chrono, are you ready to go, I’m picking up a few signals heading in your direction swiftly.” Amy explained as Chrono put a hand on Naruto’s shoulder.
“Naruto, we need to go now.” He nodded as he turned his gaze to the scroll.
“Naruto, I’ll tell the Hokage, don’t go around pranking them.” Naruto stuck his tongue out while taking the scroll off and handing it to Iruka. Once the transaction occurred, Chrono grabbed one of his hands. Four others jumped into the area wearing masks with animals on them as the two flickered away and back to the Arthra.
Well, anyways, the help I wanted is
Did Iruka have enough information to let Naruto go or at least enough trust in Naruto for it?
Did the description of the story work well?
The fight went okay and the was the glazing over work?
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Re: A Naruto Nanoha crossover idea

Unread postby MEKristian » February 12th, 2010, 9:53 pm

The fight's a little glazed over, but it's not so bad; most fanfic readers probably know the entire series of events by now anyways.

You forgot the "-sensei" when Naruto speaks to Iruka. Seeing how much respect he has for him, it's jarring without it.

Seeing it done with Chrono over Nanoha, Fate, or any of the other people it could have been is definitely an interesting difference. Looks readable to me.
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Re: A Naruto Nanoha crossover idea

Unread postby SirKaid » February 13th, 2010, 12:39 am

One thing jumped out at me. Wouldn't Iruka say that they would need to talk to the Hokage first? As far as Iruka is concerned Chrono is just some kid. A powerful kid, but just a kid regardless. With Naruto being a Jinchuuriki it's even more important that the Hokage agrees with Chrono taking him away.

Chrono might not care if the Hokage agrees or not, but Iruka certainly would.
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Re: A Naruto Nanoha crossover idea

Unread postby Flux_Blade » February 13th, 2010, 1:11 am

The fight's a little glazed over, but it's not so bad; most fanfic readers probably know the entire series of events by now anyways.

You forgot the "-sensei" when Naruto speaks to Iruka. Seeing how much respect he has for him, it's jarring without it.

Seeing it done with Chrono over Nanoha, Fate, or any of the other people it could have been is definitely an interesting difference. Looks readable to me.
Good point I'll add that in.

And I went with Chrono at a younger age was if I wanted to, there was a particular technique that might interest a favorite villain with a dying daughter, and if the man that has it would be willing to trade, Konoha could be in trouble. Though I wasn't planning to have too many visit to the ninja world, as Naruto might have reasons, no one else does. And he really hasn't made to many real connections.
One thing jumped out at me. Wouldn't Iruka say that they would need to talk to the Hokage first? As far as Iruka is concerned Chrono is just some kid. A powerful kid, but just a kid regardless. With Naruto being a Jinchuuriki it's even more important that the Hokage agrees with Chrono taking him away.

Chrono might not care if the Hokage agrees or not, but Iruka certainly would.
That is a good point, I should have thought about that first, though I guess if Chrono 'kidnaps' Naruto...

Thanks for the help so far.
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Re: A Naruto Nanoha crossover idea

Unread postby MEKristian » February 13th, 2010, 1:19 am

There's already a crossover involving the Kyuubi and Precia... the author's on this forum in fact. Seeing it done the other way around will be interesting. Naruto with the Bureau will be interesting. Seeing how Chrono will deal with a hyperactive kid will be interesting.

And Iruka might not object, but it'd have to be in the vain of him coming to the conclusion that it'd absolutely be in Naruto's best interest. How you'd do that is beyond me.
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Re: A Naruto Nanoha crossover idea

Unread postby SirKaid » February 13th, 2010, 12:40 pm

The conversation could be altered to something along the lines of:
Spoiler: show
Chrono: "My people can remove the Kyuubi from you."

Naruto: "Awesome! Where do I sign up!"

C: "Hold on, I need to get permission from your parents first."

N: "I'm an orphan."

C: "Oh. Sorry for bringing it up. Your guardians then?"

N: "I live on my own."

C: "I guess we can get going then."

Iruka: "Wait, hold on a second, you need to talk to the Hokage first."

C: "That's the military leader of the village, correct? Is Naruto a soldier, then?"

I: "Well, no, but-"

C: "Then it's really none of his business. Amy, we're good to go."

I: "Hey, stop!"

Chrono and Naruto: Are gone.

I: "Nuts. What the hell am I going to tell the Hokage? I guess I'm not getting a bonus this year."
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Re: A Naruto Nanoha crossover idea

Unread postby MEKristian » February 13th, 2010, 6:21 pm

Once again, I'd think Iruka would first worry about Naruto's well-being, then about the Hokage.

If the Hokage does get involved, I think it'd be more appropriate for Lindy to speak with him over Chrono. Heck, Lindy interacting with Naruto at all will certainly be interesting.
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Re: A Naruto Nanoha crossover idea

Unread postby Magnificate » February 13th, 2010, 6:41 pm

Do you plan your fic to be one-shot or multi-chapter? If the latter, what would be the main focus of your story?
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Re: A Naruto Nanoha crossover idea

Unread postby Flux_Blade » February 14th, 2010, 6:03 pm

There's already a crossover involving the Kyuubi and Precia... the author's on this forum in fact. Seeing it done the other way around will be interesting. Naruto with the Bureau will be interesting. Seeing how Chrono will deal with a hyperactive kid will be interesting.

And Iruka might not object, but it'd have to be in the vain of him coming to the conclusion that it'd absolutely be in Naruto's best interest. How you'd do that is beyond me.

Once again, I'd think Iruka would first worry about Naruto's well-being, then about the Hokage.

If the Hokage does get involved, I think it'd be more appropriate for Lindy to speak with him over Chrono. Heck, Lindy interacting with Naruto at all will certainly be interesting.
Yeah I know and it is an interesting story, and that is true about Naruto's well-being, need a bit more about that then. Though maybe having Naruto handing the scroll over and then telling Chrono he's ready to go...

I was thinking about having them come back at some point, and yeah, Lindy does make more sense to talk to the Hokage about it. That would be an interesting conversation, though I'll probably have it later on.
The conversation could be altered to something along the lines of:
Spoiler: show
Chrono: "My people can remove the Kyuubi from you."

Naruto: "Awesome! Where do I sign up!"

C: "Hold on, I need to get permission from your parents first."

N: "I'm an orphan."

C: "Oh. Sorry for bringing it up. Your guardians then?"

N: "I live on my own."

C: "I guess we can get going then."

Iruka: "Wait, hold on a second, you need to talk to the Hokage first."

C: "That's the military leader of the village, correct? Is Naruto a soldier, then?"

I: "Well, no, but-"

C: "Then it's really none of his business. Amy, we're good to go."

I: "Hey, stop!"

Chrono and Naruto: Are gone.

I: "Nuts. What the hell am I going to tell the Hokage? I guess I'm not getting a bonus this year."
Me likey and thanks, and the best part is the TSAB is used to 10+ year-olds making career decisions for themselves.
Do you plan your fic to be one-shot or multi-chapter? If the latter, what would be the main focus of your story?
It was written with a multi-chapter in mind. The two big things I wanted to deal with was Naruto getting use to a new area and what he does to those around him. Also how the TSAB and other react to learning about the world and some of the different abilities they have. As I could so see some parties being interested in curse seals for instance. Though I got quite a few ideas, blast I was hoping that writing this out would make it easier to get back to other stories. :o

Thanks again for the comments and critiques as it has given me quite a bit to think about.
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Re: A Naruto Nanoha crossover idea

Unread postby SirKaid » February 15th, 2010, 12:06 am

Is this before or after the Jewel Seeds incident? I can't remember how old Chrono was at that time...

I'd love to see how Naruto and Nanoha reacted to each other. They're both users of Therapy no Jutsu, there's got to be some kind of connection there.
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Re: A Naruto Nanoha crossover idea

Unread postby MEKristian » February 15th, 2010, 12:15 am

Seems to be Pre-Series. I think Chrono was 14 there....
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Re: A Naruto Nanoha crossover idea

Unread postby Flux_Blade » February 15th, 2010, 1:47 am

Yeah it is pre-series by about a year, as Chrono is 14 during the first season.

I'm not sure when I would have Nanoha show up, probably when second season starts, as Precia won't need the Jewel Seeds to save Alicia. Perhaps have Naruto and Chrono meet those two after Yuuno and Nanoha take care of them and Yuuno requests pick-up?

Now I need to think of a name for Naruto's storage device. Yes, I'm thinking of going with storage over intelligent device.
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Re: A Naruto Nanoha crossover idea

Unread postby SirKaid » February 15th, 2010, 5:12 am

Just because Precia wouldn't need them doesn't mean that they wouldn't have landed in Japan. Nanoha just wouldn't have had to fight Fate for them. The TSAB could still be attracted to all the magic Nanoha would be tossing around to kill off the various Jewel Seed monsters and invite her to join them. I dunno, maybe it's just me, but keeping Nanoha from saving Fate seems like kicking a puppy, dousing it with kerosene, and then lighting it on fire while laughing.

You could still involve her in the Testarossa case. After the Jewel Seeds were dealt with and Nanoha hired on a part time basis bad things start happening back in Narutoworld. Precia smuggles some Devices in and gives them to her new ally, Orochimaru, as payment for bringing Alicia back to life. Suddenly there are a large number of powerful mages in the area, and the TSAB needs someone with magic on that level to help out. Enter Nanoha.
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Re: A Naruto Nanoha crossover idea

Unread postby MEKristian » February 15th, 2010, 12:23 pm

Not fighting Fate also brings her power level way down. Since she doesn't have a real reason to be as strong as she is, lacking a "rival" that she's determined to save, she'd get curb-stomped when the Wolkenritter show up.

Heck, if Precia's not at all involved with the Jewel Seed collecting, then it's entirely possible that Yuno will leave with Raising Heart after all the Jewel Seeds were collected. From there, at best, Nanoha will know how to cast without her device, at best. At worst; normal girl, without powers.
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Re: A Naruto Nanoha crossover idea

Unread postby Flux_Blade » February 16th, 2010, 2:41 am

Just because Precia wouldn't need them doesn't mean that they wouldn't have landed in Japan. Nanoha just wouldn't have had to fight Fate for them. The TSAB could still be attracted to all the magic Nanoha would be tossing around to kill off the various Jewel Seed monsters and invite her to join them. I dunno, maybe it's just me, but keeping Nanoha from saving Fate seems like kicking a puppy, dousing it with kerosene, and then lighting it on fire while laughing.

You could still involve her in the Testarossa case. After the Jewel Seeds were dealt with and Nanoha hired on a part time basis bad things start happening back in Narutoworld. Precia smuggles some Devices in and gives them to her new ally, Orochimaru, as payment for bringing Alicia back to life. Suddenly there are a large number of powerful mages in the area, and the TSAB needs someone with magic on that level to help out. Enter Nanoha.
Well, I was thinking more while Precia was helping Orochimaru, the jewel seeds were being sealed, and either, Yuuno quietly returned to TSAB. Besides the snake sannin technique does need a body...

I kid, I kid, Oro-sannin wouldn't waste a useful resource such as Fate that way, but I was thinking that Naruto would be the one to have the confrontation with Fate and perhaps help her, with Chrono's help.

Not fighting Fate also brings her power level way down. Since she doesn't have a real reason to be as strong as she is, lacking a "rival" that she's determined to save, she'd get curb-stomped when the Wolkenritter show up.

Heck, if Precia's not at all involved with the Jewel Seed collecting, then it's entirely possible that Yuno will leave with Raising Heart after all the Jewel Seeds were collected. From there, at best, Nanoha will know how to cast without her device, at best. At worst; normal girl, without powers.
That is true, and with the Yuuno thing, I was thinking that either a) after sealing them all, he has a problem with catching a ride, or b) leaving it with Nanoha. Though the fact she'll definitely be weaker means that the Wolkenritter will curb-stomp, well except for the fact Yuuno's barriers are still ridiculous to break through. But if he isn't in the area....

Thanks for the ideas and the stuff to think about.

I just realized, if I have Naruto being the one to help Fate, I killed a huge factor into the Fate/Nanoha pairing.

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Re: A Naruto Nanoha crossover idea

Unread postby SirKaid » February 17th, 2010, 12:46 am

There has to be some way of keeping Nanoha involved in the story. It doesn't seem right to me to have a crossover that shafts one title character for another.

Perhaps Orochimaru's technique is flawed and Precia needs the Jewel Seeds to fix it? Being a semi-responsible ally Oro-tan sends along one of his minions with a Device to help her, since if Nanoha was able to beat Precia last time without the aid of an out-of-canon A-rank mage it would be little more than a curbstomping with such aid. Got to keep things dangerous for the heroes after all. :twisted:

I wonder what Naruto would think of someone being as absurdly powerful as Nanoha is without the benefit of a demon. Heh, what would he think of her nickname? Would that make him the Orange Devil?
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Re: A Naruto Nanoha crossover idea

Unread postby MEKristian » February 17th, 2010, 12:53 am

Heh, what would he think of her nickname?
Nothing, because it doesn't exist in canon. There, her only Nickname is "The Ace of Aces" and she doesn't gain that one until the 10 year Time Skip.
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Re: A Naruto Nanoha crossover idea

Unread postby Flux_Blade » February 20th, 2010, 3:53 am

There has to be some way of keeping Nanoha involved in the story. It doesn't seem right to me to have a crossover that shafts one title character for another.

Perhaps Orochimaru's technique is flawed and Precia needs the Jewel Seeds to fix it? Being a semi-responsible ally Oro-tan sends along one of his minions with a Device to help her, since if Nanoha was able to beat Precia last time without the aid of an out-of-canon A-rank mage it would be little more than a curbstomping with such aid. Got to keep things dangerous for the heroes after all. :twisted:

I wonder what Naruto would think of someone being as absurdly powerful as Nanoha is without the benefit of a demon. Heh, what would he think of her nickname? Would that make him the Orange Devil?
If Naruto is around when Vita calls her that, but I don't know if that scene will show up again.

Actually, to bring Nanoha in, I was thinking about having Yuuno being unable to get off of Earth, as he had a contact in the TSAB that could get him off and to keep him out of trouble with the higher ups in the government. Thus Nanoha and him train, though not as excessively. When the Wolkenritter attack, they still is clobbered, but gets rescued by Chrono, Naruto, and Fate. Then something similar to A's happens. Then Nanoha starts to train with Chrono as well, as he is wary of the government due to something happening with the Kyuubi sealed form. Thus there is that problem to deal with and still allow the two of the biggest befriending through battle have interactions.

Thanks for the critiques again.
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Re: A Naruto Nanoha crossover idea

Unread postby Nitramy » February 20th, 2010, 7:05 am

I like this idea.

The only thing that worries me is how Kyuubi's absence will adversely affect Konoha.
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Re: A Naruto Nanoha crossover idea

Unread postby SirKaid » February 21st, 2010, 7:05 pm

What would Akatsuki do when they found out about Kyuubi being missing?

Madara: Gone? What do you mean the Kyuubi's gone? It's a fifty foot tall immortal ball of hate, it can't just disappear!

Ooh, what if they're contacted by Jail? He was still doing TSAB black ops at the time, right? There's no way he wouldn't jump at the opportunity to study the Bijuu. Maybe it's some sort of trade: Akatsuki selling him the Bijuu in exchange for some combat robots and Devices.
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Re: A Naruto Nanoha crossover idea

Unread postby MEKristian » May 4th, 2010, 6:56 pm

... Hey, Hey! does this still exist? Because it's too awesome to abjectly disappear into the either.

I just realized that Naruto using a Cartridge System would be a very, very scary prospect. Less like bullets, more like artillery shells...
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Re: A Naruto Nanoha crossover idea

Unread postby Flux_Blade » May 5th, 2010, 1:28 am

*Checks it and sees it move*

Well, it's not dead, dead, just been very busy, though I should fix the first part.
Spoiler: show
The thirteen-year-old boy stood stiffly as he felt the teleportation pull him from the Arthra to non-administrative planet 195, where the ship’s sensors had detected a major unknown source of magic. The many trees grabbed his attention as he scanning around and once satisfied that none of the natives were around hidden from the sensors nearby, he reported,
“This is Enforcer Chrono reporting in, has the target started moving?”
“Ah, Chrono, are you happy that the Captain finally gave you a solo mission?” The voice added a giggle at the end as Chrono tried to control his scowl, he should not let distractions get to him. Even if no one can see him, it was the principle of it. Then again, a couple of worlds did have magic that would let them hide from Mid-Childa mages. That had been an interesting scenario to deal with at the academy.
“Amy, has the target moved?”
“No, it has not, it is 500 meters from your position. However, we have noticed a few bursts in energy, however, nothing new has appeared.”
“Understood, do I have permission to engage?”
“Captain Lindy has given you permission to use your discretion, just try to avoid contact with the locals.”
“Have you finally determined what the signal is finding?”
“It seemed like a summoning device, but it seems to be more of a storage device, I wish I had access to the Infinity Library right now to double check but I suspect this might be the first time the power has been accessed.” He took off while she complained, avoiding flying to keep himself less noticeable, his hand clenched around a card. The trees definitely seemed as if they were planted to confuse outsiders. Fortunately, it seems to more to distract away from something else besides where the target was. It almost seemed like it worked because he had magic, if it wasn’t a non-administrative planet, he would have suggested someone come and study this phenomenon. At least nothing seemed to be around, thus his travel was unhindered.
“I’m sure of it now, Chrono, the signal is coming from a device that has both storage and sealing capacities, it seems that it is supposed to drain energy from the captured target to boost someone else.” Amy explained as he kept his focus in front of him, it seems that perhaps a weapon was being tested today. If that was the case, then this was important to determine how strong the weapon was. Because if this signal was a controlled attempt and it did not reach the threshold for danger, it was out of their hands to do anything except to leave as quickly and stealthy as possible. However, with only one being probably there, it seemed unlikely, unless they really expected problems.
Four minutes after reaching the planet, he felt an odd magical aura in front of him. “S2U, battle form.” The card transformed into a black staff as he positioned his hands on it while hiding behind one of the larger trees. “Any other signals, Amy?”
“Yes, there seems to be an area effect engaged, however, it does not seem to do anything to sensors or even react to them.” Amy commented as Chrono could image her staring at the screen while taping her cheek.
“I’ll keep my guard up.” Peeking around his hiding spot, he noticed a shorter child standing there, grinning, with a rolled-up scroll on his back.
“Amy, I found a child and a scroll, though there is a building nearby, was the signal coming from the child? Or the building?”
“It seems like the scroll and the child are reacting to each other. Unless the two are a decoy but that would only make sense if they knew about us. Wait, don’t go out there! Two more people are coming in, much weaker signals.” Amy warned.
“Understood.” Chrono watched as the first person appear, the grin on the man’s face forced.
“…I found you…” the man declared as Chrono took in the sight that he was worn out from his stance and his breathing.
“Hey, I found the nose-bleeder.” Chrono stared at the boy while the man yelled at him.
“Amy, it sounds as though the boy has people looking for him, still not enough information to know if it is because of the scroll.” As he kept listening, it seems that the boy, whose name was Naruto, was told by a Mizuki that if he found the scroll and learned a technique off of it, he could graduate from somewhere. The man flinched at the explanation and then shoved the boy away right before sharp weapons slammed into him, pinning him against the building.
Chrono watched as the attacker appeared, his eyes glued to the scroll as the other man was pulling the weapons out of him. “It seems that someone tried to trick the boy into getting the scroll. The scroll seems to have forbidden techniques on it.” The one named Mizuki mentioned how a demon fox was sealed inside Naruto, as Chrono clenched his staff. This man loathed and feared the boy. “It seems that the boy has been quite neglected if this Mizuki is to be believed.” He theorized at Mizuki’s continuation of the story, especially if someone was watching them and not acting to protect the child. Unless the watcher was a considerable distance away which meant the protection around the boy was inadequate.
“Chrono, the signal is starting to increase rapidly!” Amy worriedly informed him as Mizuki grabbed a giant throwing weapon and started spinning it rapidly.
“Iruka is the same!! He actually hates you!!” Mizuki exclaimed as Chrono identified the other man as Iruka. He could see the boy’s fear start to transform into rage, and if Iruka was only here to protect the scroll…
“Nobody will ever accept you!!” Mizuki continued as he pulled back to hurl the weapon as Chrono took off from his hiding spot. “That scroll was used to seal you up!!” The weapon sped away from Mizuki as he grinned manically.
“Round shield.” The large throwing weapon found its path intercepted by the newly created shield in front of Chrono, who was standing in front of Naruto.
“Who the hell are you?” No one moved as Chrono kept his staff at the ready, though he did notice that Iruka was a few steps closer than earlier, it seems that Mizuki was lying or Iruka had a recent change of opinion about Naruto.
“For you, it doesn’t matter, you first threaten someone that seems to have suffered for your safety and then attempt to kill him. I cannot allow you to succeed.” Chrono was cycling through his options, as he did not know how fast this enemy was, after all, Iruka had nearly reached Naruto with a bit of injuries, though they seemed mostly superficial.
“You think a fancy weapon can protect the demon? He’ll destroy you with your back turned!” Interesting, he was either trying to get Naruto to run, or get him to waver.
“No, this boy would not. If he really was a demon, it sounds like he would have attempted to have killed everyone in the area already.” He heard the gasp behind him as Mizuki narrowed his eyes at him. “And yes, I can defeat you without worry.” The glare got hotter as Mizuki started to move his hands in front of him.
“Stinger Snipe.” S2U spoke as a magical blast of blue energy flew from it as it rushed at Mizuki who quickly vacated the branch he was on, which found itself obliterated.
“Too bad that missed,” Mizuki mocked as he landed. He grabbed the second large throwing weapon on his back as he sprinted toward Chrono while spinning the weapon while grasping it in the middle, as Chrono smiled and waved his staff in front of him. The energy missile had finished circling around and rushed back towards the group. Right before Mizuki reached the two, the blast slammed into his back, dropping the man with a gasp. Chrono turned around to see Naruto and Iruka in different states of shock.
“This is Chrono, has the increased spike of the energy passed?”
“Yes, though the energy is still pretty high. Does the child still have the scroll?”
“Yes, he does, I’ll try to get the scroll away from him now.” He responds as he turned back to Mizuki, making sure he was not attempting to play possum.
“Chrono, I suggest that you try to convince Naruto to come with us, it does not sound healthy for him there. And if this demon is dangerous, we should be able to neutralize it.” The captain ordered, at least she took the situation with proper decorum, he thought.
“How did you do this?” Iruka questioned as he moved closer to Naruto, who was still sitting on the ground, either that or he could throw sound as a distraction. He determined that Iruka did not consider Mizuki a threat and thus slowly turned to the other green-vested man while lowering his staff. He knew that the man would probably be the largest obstacle and he had to hurry, he doubted his presence would go unnoticed by the watcher.
“It is a technique similar to what you call ninjustu, I assume, I use this to channel the attack,” he gestures with the staff while explaining. “Can you now answer one of mine? Is this Nine-Tailed Fox sealed by a technique on the scroll?” The man hesitated but did not respond, he did not know if it was his age or the village the man was a part of keeping from answering. “I see.” Turning away from the man and looking at the similar aged boy, “Your name is Naruto, correct?” The one questioned nodded rapidly. “I believe I know someone that could remove this Nine-Tailed Fox from you without hurting you. But you would have to come with me.” At that, the man started to hunch up.
“Wait, the Kyuubi could destroy mountains with one of its tails, you can’t let it out, there was a reason that our Hokage couldn’t kill it.”
“Something that can destroy mountains easily is something within our ability to deal with. Trust me, Naruto, we would not do anything to let this Kyuubi control you or injure you.” Naruto’s eyes went wide as Iruka rocked back on his heels at the statement. He glanced at his device, as he thought, “S2U, scan the information on the scroll.” The device flashed a weak light in response. He had noticed Iruka flinch at the light, much more observant than expected. While he knew that it was not something that was completely true, something that powerful would be difficult to subdue, however, the seal seems to be working, thus it would not be a problem, especially if they had the information on how the technique used.
“Could you teach me how you did that awesome justu?” Iruka closed his mouth as Naruto blurted out his request.
“You are talking about Stinger Snipe?’ Chrono clarified as the boy nodded furiously.
“I probably cannot,” he saw the boy look down, “but I know a few people that could and will ask them to. Even if they cannot, they can teach you other 'cool' techniques.” He hedged as moved his gaze to Iruka, who slumped at Naruto’s question.
“The signal has dropped to below danger levels, good job Chrono.” Amy commented as Chrono smiled. He watched as Iruka grabbed Naruto by the shoulders as he gave him a stern look before instructing,
“Have you ever thought he might be just like Mizuki, you can’t trust people just because they say they’ll be nice to you.” Chrono noticed how Iruka had positioned himself so that if he tried something, the man would see it. Naruto started to scratch the back of head before looking up at the man.
“His eyes aren’t like Mizuki and the others, they’re warm.” Iruka stiffed as Naruto looked back at the ground.
“Naruto, not everyone is going to show hostility to you, besides, if they wanted to use the Kyuubi's power, wouldn't they try to be nice?” Iruka questioned as he gave Chrono another look over.
"Actually, until overhearing the conversation, I have never heard of this Kyuubi, before." The two widened their eyes as Chrono finally transformed S2U back into its card form. He focused his attention on Naruto. "Do you have any family that you need to ask permission for?" The boy shook his head. "You better return the scroll to the man, since it seems to be stolen property."
With that statement, Naruto chucks the scroll into the air as the man scrambles to catch it.
“Hey, Iruka, tell the old man I’m on a super-secret training mission and I’ll be back after getting the fox taken care of.” Naruto helpfully added with a smile, as Iruka catches the scroll with an exhale of relief.
“Chrono, are you ready to go, I’m picking up a few signals heading in your direction swiftly.” Amy explained as Chrono put a hand on Naruto’s shoulder.
“I promise to keep him safe.” He nodded as he turned his gaze to the scroll.
“Naruto, don't go!” The man was conflicted as he did not want risk injuring Naruto, who stuck his tongue out as Chrono grabbed one of his hands. Four others jumped into the area wearing masks with animals on them as the two flickered away and back to the Arthra.
Also thought of something about Madara, warning, not really checked
Spoiler: show
The Konoha chunnin vanished as Madara continued to glare in his former direction even after the man was gone. The quasi-immortal man started to ball up his fists. It wasn't possible, all of his plans, ruined. He knew that the Kyuubi container was not dead, the village did not reaction right. Especially since Namikaze would have left a nasty surprise. It was part of the reason why the plan required the other eight tailed-beasts first. He had learned from the former Uzu ninjas. Enough chakra could disrupt any seal, even ones that were made by a possible rival in seals, if the man had lived longer. But with the Kyuubi missing...

He relaxed his fists. While the chunnin did say that the Kyuubi container was gone from the village and on secret training, the brat would have to come back. They would never just let it go. After all, why else did Namikaze seal his Kyuubi into the boy. They would just have to wait. Though if the information he had obtained was true, then there are other worlds, and with a fully powered statue, his options were much greater than mere control of everyone on the planet.
Though honestly, I am not sure how much affect Madara will have, since Naruto may spend some time on the planet, but not much and by the time Madara releases it...
Maybe have Madara always there too late.

And a scene probably from chapter 2 or 3, also above warning applies,
Spoiler: show
Chrono groaned as he sat down in his chair. The runt had been the most obnoxious thing to come into his life. He rather ask Amy to marry him at this point than be the boy's babysitter. Okay, good thing he didn't say that out loud. He didn't need his mother attempt to do something about that.10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2...1...
Remember, he was an orphan, and as his instructor, I must teach him to be better. Besides at least the twins will take him off my hands at least a few hours a days. Plus the fact he can be quiet while eating, non-ramen products.
If he had to have the boy around constantly, he wasn't sure what to do. The worst part was Naruto being so demanding. Didn't he understand they couldn't get him a device without having to give him formal training? They needed more magical power to boost the sealing device enough to trap the monster. Unfortunately, it's not like they will have more high rank mages dropping in around them, right.
His musing was interrupted as heard the door open.
"Chrono..." They were wearing that smile.
"Yes Aria?"
"Why didn't you tell us you created such a cute familiar?" Chrono watched them warily. "You even gave him whiskers just like us." He started to sputter and before he could get a word out, found himself being hugged by the two. After a couple of seconds, the two sprinted off.
Looking out the door, Chrono noticed Naruto standing there with his typical, large grin.
"Hey, Chrono," At least Naruto remembered his name now. "I didn't realize that being familiar with you was such a happy occasion. Well, I better go find them now." With that statement, the nuisance ran off. Chrono on the other hand, face-palmed as his body started to shake. He wasn't just trouble.
To answer comments now
I like this idea.

The only thing that worries me is how Kyuubi's absence will adversely affect Konoha.


Well, Ichiraku's ramen won't be going under, they aren't dependent on him That much. Though I really do see Team 7 failing without Naruto there. While Sasuke could possibility, possibility feed Sakura, especially since she avoids the whole really putting her foot in her mouth and that she doesn't get the false impression that Sasuke's just shy, but honestly, no team 7 unless somehow Shikimaru ended up on the team. Which I don't think happening. No sharigan for Sasuke, as I feel Kakashi wouldn't take Sasuke as an apprentice, as he hasn't shown the gumption to sacrifice himself for his teammates, means that Orochimaru goes after someone else, Hinata? He's known for psychological warfare, and he finds out that she's pinning away for the boy who left. Convincing her that if only she was stronger, he'd come back.

Actually, SirKaid, it is someone else that is trading for some robots and devices. :ninja:

Yes, Naruto with cartridges. :animyikes:

Though with my other stories, It'll probably be summer before this gets up. Though I do need to review Nitramy story, now that I think about it.
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Re: A Naruto Nanoha crossover idea

Unread postby Dechstreme » July 5th, 2010, 10:57 pm

Orochimaru is interested in the Sharingan for it's copy abilities, which would enable him to perform his other quest of learning every jutsu that exists, the reason why he became immortal.

The Byakugan is impressive, but it's not what Oro is after, so, no, I don't think he would be interested in Hinata. Besides... Even if Sasuke doesn't activate the sharingan, dosn't mean his offspring won't... So Sasuke wouldn't be removed as a focus for Orochimooko any time soon.
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Re: A Naruto Nanoha crossover idea

Unread postby Flux_Blade » July 7th, 2010, 1:57 am

Orochimaru is interested in the Sharingan for it's copy abilities, which would enable him to perform his other quest of learning every jutsu that exists, the reason why he became immortal.

The Byakugan is impressive, but it's not what Oro is after, so, no, I don't think he would be interested in Hinata. Besides... Even if Sasuke doesn't activate the sharingan, dosn't mean his offspring won't... So Sasuke wouldn't be removed as a focus for Orochimooko any time soon.
He's not giving up on Sasuke per say, but with his immortal technique, he doesn't have to rush. He is also willing to go after other blood-lines, such as the one which Kimimaro had. Then again, capturing Sasuke before he has it could be a good idea, or trying to force it to activate. Hmmm....

Actually, one reason I could think about going after a Hyuuga, might be to help find out what is wrong with Kimimaro, who Orochimaru would prefer. Actually if the help Precia can give him, he may need Sasuke right away either. Well, giving Orochimaru another weapon, seems like Konoha may be looking real bad after the fight.

Thanks for the comment, Dechstreme, that actually helped a bit with another problem, I had, though poor Konoha...
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Re: A Naruto Nanoha crossover idea

Unread postby Dechstreme » July 7th, 2010, 8:37 pm

Glad to help. Is there anything else that has caused you problems?
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