Meow!!! im a new..at everything -_-

[Oxeferlied]

Im a fairly good artist i even have my own style when drawing, ive been wanting to make a manga for such a long time but everytime i try to develope a story i get ideas but can never develop a plot, ive chekked websites, for help but nothing rlly helps..ps dont mind the poor grammar im not literate when i type fast.


the idea is basicly about Myth and fantasy all in a world thats the same as ours divided by a thin layer of sight and energy.

Rosa is a normal teenage girl, a professional martial artist and a fershman at college.. one day she saves a boy with pale white skin and glossy silver hair from some bullies thinking its just them picking on him suddenly afterwards the world goes black for her.. and she awakes in a world where everything is exactly the same but humans are asleep all the time. humans are called shells least the ones in this world they are the souls that belong to the bodies so in a way their bodies are dreams and their souls are dreams of their bodies, when the souls awake the human body dies and they can reincarnate as they please or become angels and live in the north or simply disapear to watever demon eats them. This world is about feys its where all that mythological crap comes from, pixies,demons,angels,nymphs,ect.and its fully functional mostly by plants and odd machines run with magic. Rosa wakes up in this world in a hospital of sorts full of ivy and bones and insects crawling all over her body to discover the boy was waiting for her.. eventually she has to become his maid,bodyguard untill the prince dies and as he promises her he will tell her where to find her sister when he dies.


thats mostly my ideas for it but i have trouble making everything else

[Dechstreme]

I'm hitting blanks here... anyone got any suggestions? He could really use them.

[Dervon]

Here, use this: http://donjon.bin.sh/adventure/

Just refresh the page to see a different random seed. Keep what you like and toss what you don't.

[Dechstreme]

Okay, Thanks, Dervon. Anyone else? I think some actual critique and feedback would be most appreciated. I know the guy personally. I've been trying to help him, but, really... Can't do much in that department.

[Oxeferlied]

thank you dech you raised my hope into thinking the 3 replies where of other people -_- thanks for the info and the link dervon

[gman391]

Who's the big bad? You need a villain or at least an antagonist of some sort. Um check out the Big Bad page on TV Tropes for ideas.
Is Rosa unique? are there other humans like her not quite angels but not reincarnated either. If so does Rosa want to find them or not? And where did the Sister thing come from?
What's the genre? Is it Romance between the Prince and Rosa? or straight action? Or intrigue in the palace?
Does Rosa have magic powers?
How does the Fey world work? Does physics mostly work or only when people want it to?

If you could answer these questions I could give you more ideas but I need more information. Sorry.

[Oxeferlied]

Well Rosa is not the only body guard along with her the prince has a ghoul (which is a parasite in my story that uses dead womens bodies) and a Lyre (in my story they are what most mermaids,sirens,harpies and other singing demonesses and fey decend from) however rosa learns some spells because the prince forces her everywhere with him including his magic classes

[Oxeferlied]

the prince is very young he is about 8 and forms an attachment to Rosa that he doesnt understand himself so he forces her to basicly enter all his classes with him untill his pilgrimage is donein which the villain will kill him ( i dont have any idea what the villain should be),
Rosa has photographic memory so she is a quick study and learns how spells and magic works from the princes classes and books, she is very offensive in battle so she recklessly uses magic without worrying of what happens to her, her sister is the reason she is with the prince because she doesnt know if she awoke the same way as her, the main reason why the shells cant reincarnate on earth is because the planet disapeared and all thats left is the fey reality. i dont want rosa to be some powerfull witch so ill only give her a spell that controls her weight and a few elemental spells for now, she fights with a giant axe called marie antoinette

[gman391]

Isn't a Lyre a type of musical instrument?

That aside...why does the villain want to kill the Prince? and does said Prince have a name? What's the motivation here?
Okay so somehow Rosa is connected to Prince. What's the interaction between them? Mother/son big sis/little brother? Or something else?

How does Rosa take this new reality? Shocked? Angry? Sad? Was she isolated back on earth? Or does she have family and friends she wants to get back to?

More importantly does she know that the earth is gone?

And please don't double post.

[Oxeferlied]

the double post was an accident im sorry,
well i based the lyre race on the musical instrument however in her case she is mute if she opens her mouth whoever hears whatever comes out kills themselves or others.

into the villain thing ive been stuggling because im not sure whether to give the reason that its because the prince is a horoscope and collecting the horoscope souls would bring the powers of the fey world to a destruction or bring back earth... or making it simply that the prince dies protecting Rosa from a battle with the villain who simply thinks all humans should disapear...

the relationship is maternal between the prince and her they both have a similar personality and thats why the prince likes her so much
Rosa unlike her sister has had the burden of always being the provider after killing her parents suddenly died misteriusly so she sorta has a seshomaru personality she is unfazed by anything on the outside.. she doesnt know anything about the earth untill later on im planning her discovery depending on what villain i choose...

ps depending if i do the horoscope thing or not her sister might actually not excist in this world or not

[serbii]

Run all your characters through the Mary Sue litmus test just to be safe. Take note of what traits are cliche so you can differentiate your characters

Make sure the rules for any magic/supernatural/Fae powers in the story are clear to you and set in stone. No changing them for convenience of the plot. It's good to let the reader know what they are too. If you're going to say exactly how the powers work in regards to science, please, please do the research!
This applies to technology too, what stage of development is the other world at.

Good Luck :)

[Oxeferlied]

Well i was thinking i dont want the main character very normal because my idea of rosa is an odd girl who became strong to do what she wanted in life so my idea is:

Rosa and Tulipa got in a fire when they where young (first time they played with a faerie made of fire) and it ended burning their parents house along with their mother in it.their father was institutionalised in a psyche ward and they where taken to an orphanage where they were made fun of their burnt marks they were behind rosas neck and under her feet and her sister burnt her hands and her feet as well...


Rosa had an incredibly low self esteem and upon finding another faerie near the orphanage she played with it and fell of a cliff, the people in the orphanage thought it to be a suicide attempt and put her in a psyche ward where she met her father after 2 years apart from the fire.

Rosa comes back to the orphanage healthy and with a diferent personality of a tough person she had read many books and learned a lot about strategizing and developing a photographic memory plus singing classes, all this but she developed an unusual obsession over lipstick. once in the orphanage she and her sister got in a fight in the orphanage and thats when rosa and tulipa got into the likings of martial arts, learning they could always protect eachother however rosa was the more independant one and tried to keep tulipa away from trouble most of the times. evertually they both got into singing and became famous where rosa became even more narcisistic and untrusting of other people, her sister however has always been humble and friendly towards others.

Rosa was frugal so she saved most of her earnings keeping the thought she can lose everything at one moment, untill the day she sees a small white haired boy being attacked by some thugs and she saves him...suddenly thats when it all goes black for her and she wakes up in the fey world where everything seems like it was yesterday but it has been almost three centuries in the human world.. not realizing most of whats happened she stares around a small room seems like a dirty hospital room covered in insects,plants, some skelletons and what seems to be eyes in the walls. she looks to the side and the boy is right there telling her to wait for him for three days and untill then she will sleep some more.. it all goes black from there but she wakes up the next day unable to move from her bed hearing screams all around.. she feels scared inside.. tears slowly fall down her cheeks yet she tries to refraim from crying.


this is part of the story of what ive written in my idea book idk i want to know maybe peoples opinion of how rosa is so far and the world shes in

then theres the powers depending on races they each have a category and type

Alchemy, uses a mix of magic and psychic inside an object made of minerals
magic, holy, nature, demonic

Of course some monsters are diferent and have no powers but can rip a pixie in half without even trying
psychic powers from the mind or body ex telekinesis and pyrokinesis

[Kirai]

Arrg wall of text alert!

Try to split it up more so it's easier to read. Two or three sentences per paragraph.

[Oxeferlied]

Okay ill try harder to be a little more grammatically correct