No problem man all advice is appreciated. Only one original character (the only one at the moment) could be considered one of the main protagonists, and she is probably going to be a pretty disturbed little girl. While she is a huge part of the story I'm working out ( you might say the corner stone of it), I'm not planning on telling the story from her view point. The characters will all be pretty similar to their normal counterparts, just several years older and wiser. Essentially after the invasion of Konoha, and Nagato's defeat, because the unsure how much nagato and konan told naruto, Akatski disappears for a certain amount of time to regroup and recruit new blood,(not planning on any OC's there, just them building up an army. The Army of zetus thing made me want to gag). Story proper should start 3 or 4 years after the invasion with the rookie 9 in the 19-20 year old range.If you haven't written for a while, you may want to get a beta to check over your work to make sure you've got grammar/spelling/general ease of reading down okay.
If you have an OC, be cautious with them. Give them flaws. Develop any and all relationships with the canon cast. Are they a significant part of the plot? Does the plot revolve around them? These aren't things that can't neccesarily be pulled off but they will automatically sound bad to new readers, so see if there is any way to give canon characters a bigger role. (This is very generalised as I don't know your plot.)
Changing characters to reflect the circumstances of the fic is fine, but try to make them recognisable. If not, I suggest including some vague backstory that will explain major differences when you introduce them, and then expanding upon it later. For example, if your AU has a very depressed Naruto, you might say that he accidentally killed Sasuke when he was trying to stop him defecting. So when you introduce this Naruto, you would allude to the fact that he hadn't been able to save Sasuke/Sasuke is dead, but not go into detail about whys and hows yet.
Depending on your writing style, you may either want to a) have a plot fully fleshed out and written or b) have a bunch of vague plot points that leave your story room to manoeuvre and change. Either of these is fine, but you may want to go over your ideas with someone else to evaluate clicheness, realism, or whatever else you're worried about. Also, I don't recommend railroading your story when the plot stops working. Let it go where it wants.
Lastly, if you're new to fanfic, it many help you to write a few oneshots to get a good feel for the canon characters before you start to change them.
...Sorry for fairly lengthy post. D:
I'll remember that. the character definitely has her own motivations.Naruhina shippers have a really bad reputation for having the two completely out of character to facilitate shipping. Naruto is not, by any stretch of the imagination, romantically inclined. Resist the temptation.
Also, if a OC exists only for the benefit of your main character, that's no good. Every character should have motivations and desires of their own - no one's life should revolve around someone else... unless said person is seriously pathological.
*Ahem*Naruhina shippers have a really bad reputation for having the two completely out of character to facilitate shipping. Naruto is not, by any stretch of the imagination, romantically inclined. Resist the temptation.
Well, my story idea basically makes a relationship a forgone conclusion. how that shows up in this story is yet to be seen. but yeah, I wasn't planning on going way Oc for either of them. That irked me about alot of the fics i read, making both go way out of character to either make their story happen or push them together right away.*Ahem*Naruhina shippers have a really bad reputation for having the two completely out of character to facilitate shipping. Naruto is not, by any stretch of the imagination, romantically inclined. Resist the temptation.
Naruto has shown romantic inclinations in the past. It seems like he has put any romance on hold until he deals with the current situation in canon It remains to be seen whether he still retains feelings for Sakura, and how he will deal with those feelings if he has them. If he does, I think he'll probably take the Rock Lee "I told her, it's her choice if she wants to reciprocate" approach.Spoiler: show
By all means, do not try and change the character's personalities out of hand to make a relationship work. But also, don't feel that you need to exclude romance altogether.
So we should expect him to serenade Hinata under moonlight, bring her roses, invite her to expensive restaurants etc.?*Ahem*Naruhina shippers have a really bad reputation for having the two completely out of character to facilitate shipping. Naruto is not, by any stretch of the imagination, romantically inclined. Resist the temptation.
Naruto has shown romantic inclinations in the past. It seems like he has put any romance on hold until he deals with the current situation in canon It remains to be seen whether he still retains feelings for Sakura, and how he will deal with those feelings if he has them. If he does, I think he'll probably take the Rock Lee "I told her, it's her choice if she wants to reciprocate" approach.Spoiler: show
By all means, do not try and change the character's personalities out of hand to make a relationship work. But also, don't feel that you need to exclude romance altogether.
IMO, the best NaruHina fanfics out there are those that acknowledge that, given Naruto's social ineptitude and Hinata's shyness, any type of relationship between the two would develop in a slow burning, very awkward but also very tender way (essentially the definition of the term "Adorkable"). Their character flaws would certainly be a hindrance, but both have shown (even in canon) that they can be quite devoted towards the people they love and make sweet gestures towards them, even if in a very clumsy or awkward way.
If you plan on hinting or developing any future relationship between the two, don't forget to take those elements into account. As the other said, serenades and expensive dinners would be ridiculous and completely OOC. They passing a quiet moment sitting together after an extensive training session might be better.
Talking about other topics, do you plan to have any action sequences or fights in your story? In those cases you need to achieve a certain balance in terms of the descriptions and narrative in order to make them exciting and appealing. Describing the action sequences in too much detail can make them boring or difficult to read, but describing them in too little detail can make them really dull.
The same goes in terms of their lenght. Make it too long and the audience will eventually lose interest in the fight. Make it too short and they might complaint about it being anticlimatic. It ultimately depends on the narration, the context in which the fight takes place and the characters involved. A bunch of thugs with no plot relevance may be dispatched really quickly by a jounin. A climatic final battle between two kage level ninja may take an extended time in unfolding while both characters try to best each other.
Ok, that... that is just pure genius. That is perfect. So much better than the tripe I've run across.
Forgive my choice of words. Its been changed, and I really appreciate the words Phht. Everyone's been really helpful, and given me lots of awesome advice. Gman even did the first read through of my prologue for me , and has given some great suggestions. Hopefully It'll be ready for a second read through soon.The others have made good points, but something just annoys me.
Calling yourself a "noob" is an insult to you. If you're here actually asking for help and tips and trying to improve, you are a newbie. If you put out crap first, failed to take advice and help, rejected said advice and help impolitely, and continued to put out crap without improving, then you would be a "noob" because you're a fail.
Just had to get that off my chest because it's been annoying me since I first saw the thread title.
I just may take you up on that TK.If you need help with action sequences, I've been told I'm a fair hand at them.
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