[Pokémon/Darkfic] Blue Like Water/Red Like Blood

[Aldraia Dragonsong]

So, the idea behind this is twofold: get the dark out of my head so I can go back to writing my light and fluffy Pokémon fanfic without dragging it down into darkfic, and as a multiple-viewpoints stylistic experiment. The intention is that there are two fics, each from one character's perspective, each about the other viewpoint character. The fics cover roughly the same timeline, with some of the events being shared between the fics and others unique to that fic. Each story is told in the first person with a framing device of the narrator telling the story to someone else. The intention is that each story reveals much about the teller as well as the one they speak of; which events they deem important, the differing perspectives on shared events, these things give information. The other goal here is that both narrators are fallible; neither story is completely factual and accurate. Most of the factual data is at least not misleading, if occasionally imprecise, but any judgments about the significance behind an action are mostly conjecture on the narrators' part.
I only have the first chapter of each and the second chapter of Blue Like Water so far. Criticism/advice is appreciated.

Blue Like Water

Spoiler: show

"Oh, you're here," said Blue. "All right. As promised, I'll tell you the story. What happened with me and Red."

First Meeting

I don't remember exactly when we first met. It was years before either of us became Trainers. I don't remember exactly what we said. But I remember the gist of it.
We were just wandering around town, two bored children with nothing to do on a nice day. We spotted each other and just kind of stopped.
I think he was the one who spoke first.
He would have said something like "Hi, I'm Ash."
And I would have answered, "My name's Gary."
He laughed. I remember that. Thought it was a silly name. So he nicknamed me Blue, because that was the color my shirt was that day.
I was kind of annoyed, so I retaliated, "Then I'll call you Red, 'cause that's the color your hat is!"
He took the hat off and looked at it.
"It's red and white," he pointed out.
"I shortened it," I grumbled.
Ash thought a bit longer.
"Red," he repeated, testing the sound. Then he smirked and put the hat back on.
"I like it," he said, and stuck out his hand.
I shook it.

Yeah. When I first met Red, I liked him. We were friends... pretty good friends, even. There were a lot of things I didn't know then... and I like to think that Ash was innocent.
Then again, maybe that was the problem. Maybe he was too innocent.
Maybe Red doesn't understand that others can feel pain.

Red Like Blood

Spoiler: show

"Let me tell you a story," said Red. "Several years ago in Pallet Town... no. That's not where I need to begin."

Analgesia

When I was younger, I didn't understand pain.
I think that might have been the problem that started all of this.
I remember when I first met Pikachu. He shocked me. I figured it was just a hello gesture, and I laughed.
Blue was horrified.
"Are you all right?" he asked, nearly panicked.
I gave him a puzzled look.
"Huh?"
"It shocked you!" he shouted. Sometimes I wonder if nonchalance bothers Blue. He certainly acts like it does.
Though maybe it only bothers him when most people would have responded.
I'm pretty sure I said something like, "Ah, it's just a playful greeting," but I don't remember exactly.
Come to think of it, isn't that about when Blue and I started to drift apart?
I always figured it was just because we'd started traveling and didn't see each other as much. But maybe that was when Blue finally noticed that I wasn't normal.
If so, he's the one that took the longest to notice. Maybe that's why he's the only friend I had; maybe normal people have some kind of "not-normal radar" and Blue's was broken.
I don't know. After all, I'm not normal.
It's too bad it took me so long to realize that.

Blue Like Water

Spoiler: show

Second Battle

I remember the battle we had, outside of Viridian City.
It wasn't our first battle, but the first one barely counted. That first battle, I suspected, but I thought maybe it was just his inexperience.
That second battle, though... I was sure.
Red's battle style was simple. Efficient. Effective.
But it was like he didn't care if his Pokemon got hurt.
As long as he won, he didn't care at all.
He won that time. All the other times too, come to think of it. I've only beaten Red once, and that was the last battle I had with him.
Red scratched his Pikachu's head. It seemed to like the gesture.
I didn't understand. It was like his utter callousness didn't mean anything to him. He'd just sent that Pikachu into battle and acted like its injuries were irrelevant, and there he was petting it like he cared.
He grinned at me.
"Good match," he said cheerfully.
I didn't answer. I was too stunned by all the contradictions Red embodied, without even seeming to notice.
"You know," he said conversationally, "I just noticed. You're Blue and I'm Red. It's like that saying, isn't it? 'Blue like water, red like fire, green like leaves on trees'."
I recovered enough to snarl at him.
"I'll be blue like water," I hissed, "but you'll be red like blood."
Red laughed.

[QuoteMyFoot]

Just a note to say I have not read this yet, but I will definitely do so later (no time atm) and edit this post with comments.

EDIT: Holy crap why did this take me like 4 days?! Oh wait... Eyeshield 21. >__>;

Not sure what universe this takes place in, if any, but I like this a lot so far. The last line of that second chapter for Blue really hit hard. Just the right level of creepy. The only major criticism I have (I guess) is the shortness. They just seem kinda insubstantial to work as individual chapters? Though I think combining Red and Blue 1 to make one 'chapter' with two halves might work, assuming they'd get a bit longer later? The only other thing is skipping the battle, which could've been interesting, but that can be explained by action not being the point/to make way for a better action scene later, so it doesn't bother me too much.

[Aldraia Dragonsong]

Hmm, you make some interesting points. The story takes place in a universe based on the old Pokémon Yellow Version, though I ended up changing quite a bit from that start. The protagonists are the player character and rival character from that game.
The reason for the separation of chapters is that there are two ways to read the story, and being unable to decide which makes more sense I intend to let the reader decide. The first way is to read alternating chapters, the way I post them here, which is how I write the story. The other way, though, is to read Blue Like Water straight through and then Red Like Blood straight through. Still, if I change my mind and end up combining them into a single fanfic, I will remember what you said. Those first chapters are kind of short.
As for skipping the battle, action scenes are not my forte and this story is really not about the action, so I tend to skip over battle scenes -this has been happening in later chapters as well. The other thing to consider is that this is supposed to be a story that the principal characters are telling several years after it happened -would they even remember much about the battles? At this point they probably just have a general idea with a few important details.
Thank you for the advice. And the compliments. ^^
Have some more story.

Red Like Blood

Spoiler: show

Compassion

So how was it I started again? Ah, right. Several years ago, in Pallet Town... you know what, that’s a terrible way to start this story. Doesn’t matter what I do with that beginning, it doesn’t come out right.
So. Let’s try it this way. The point of the story is that you want to know what’s up with Blue and me, right?
What you need to understand about Blue is that he hates his grandfather. And what you really need to understand is why.
For the longest time, I didn’t. And that was part of the problem. I accepted it but I didn’t understand it, and I didn’t try to understand. Maybe if I had, we could have avoided all this.
Several years ago, Blue and I lived in Pallet Town. We were best friends, but we were the kind of friends who bickered constantly. And whenever we were having an argument, I’d call him Blue and he’d call me Red.
We weren’t born Red and Blue, you know. Those are names we gave each other, and kept using when we left our old ones behind.
Blue did it because he hates his grandfather. I did it because... well, I’ll get to that. First, Pallet Town.
So. It was when we were... nine, I think. It was the kind of bright sunny day that Blue and I always met up to do stuff on, so I wasn’t at all surprised when he showed up.
I was kind of surprised by his expression, though. He looked lost, and scared, and angry, and something else I couldn’t identify.
I think, looking back, that that something else was hurt. The pain of betrayal.
I must have called him by name, because he turned the anger on me. Insisted that I call him Blue from then on.
I didn’t know why he wanted that when before he’d preferred to be called by name, but I shrugged and agreed. I didn’t really care which I called him, as long as he answered.

“What was his name?” Silver asked.
“The one he was born with?” Red inquired.
Silver nodded.
“I don’t speak that name anymore,” said Red. “It doesn’t exist for me. He’s Blue, and he’s always been Blue. Just like I’m Red, and I’ve always been Red.”

Blue like water. Red like blood.
I misinterpreted that the first time he said it. Thought it was a joke.
I was such a silly child. Maybe I still am.
After all, I still think of Blue as my friend.

Blue Like Water

Spoiler: show

Third Strike

In retrospect, I shouldn’t have tried to discourage Red. I probably just fired up his competitive spirit. Even back when Ash and I were friends, we were always rivals.
Whenever I ran into Red, I’d challenge him to a Pokémon battle. I was trying to get him to understand... I should have just told him what I meant, but I couldn’t find the words. I couldn’t think of a way to say what I wanted him to learn, not one that would be convincing.
So I tried to demonstrate it.
I don’t think it worked. I don’t think Red’s ever realized that Pokémon are people as much as humans are.

I don’t even remember why I was on the S.S. Anne -oh. That’s right, I heard there was a Cut master on the ship... anyway. What I remember is that on my way out I ran into Red again.
So like I always did, I challenged him to a battle. I wish I hadn’t.
The ship was docked, but it wasn’t perfectly steady. It was just a little bit harder to stay balanced on the deck. That little bit could be important.
I... don’t really like to talk about what happened. I remember it too well.
I used to have a Raticate. That battle is the reason why it’s ‘used to have’ and not just ‘have’.
Raticate didn’t die in that battle. Red... I think that in his messed-up mind, we’re still friends. I think in his own crazy way he likes me.
What happened... looking back on it, it was probably an accident.
That’s what I told myself, what I tell myself, hoping that if I say it enough times I’ll believe it. Because I can’t quite. Red was just a little too calm when Raticate lost her whiskers.
He didn’t look surprised at all, like it was just part of the battle. Then again, maybe he didn’t know any better. The way I remember it, Ash didn’t know much of anything about Pokémon. Red was a lucky amateur, when he started out.
That wasn’t our last battle. And when it was over, just like he always did, Red grinned at me and said, “Good match.”
And just like always, I couldn’t understand how he could treat what he did like it meant nothing.
I don’t remember what I said to him, if I even said anything. I was running on automatic, all my thinking focused on making sure Raticate was all right.
Because I knew, even if Red didn’t, that Raticate need their whiskers.
I rushed to the Pokémon Center. All the others were fine, and Raticate was too, except that... her whiskers couldn’t heal. Her whiskers couldn’t heal, and without them, she couldn’t balance.
I tried to help her recover. I knew she probably wouldn’t be able to fight very well after that, but I thought she’d be able to learn to balance at least somewhat better.
But... she didn’t want to. She stopped caring about anything. Raticate stopped eating, and it was only a few days later that she died.
Maybe it’s silly and stupid to blame Red for that. He couldn’t have known that Raticate lived for battle. He couldn’t have known that Raticate thought she was useless if she couldn’t fight.
Red still doesn’t know that it’s his fault that she’s dead.

Red Like Blood

Spoiler: show

Rivalry

Blue and I, we’ve always been rivals. Ever since the day we met, there’s been that silent competition between us to be the best.
Blue never wanted to be worse than me at anything. It’s a desire that’s only gotten stronger as we’ve gotten older, and that ambition is something that I’ve always respected about Blue.
It didn’t matter what we were doing, we’d find a way to turn it into a competition. And if we couldn’t, we’d do something else that we could. It’s really no surprise that Pokémon training was the same way.
After that incident when we were nine, Blue got... I don’t know. Quieter? He’d space out sometimes, and when I tried to get his attention back, he’d apologize but wouldn’t tell me what he was thinking. I didn’t pressure him about it, but I did kind of wonder. That was when he started hating Professor Oak, too. I didn’t understand that at all, and I didn’t try to. Figured it was just something between the two of them, something I wouldn’t get even if Blue explained it.
Blue used to take me to visit his grandfather, but that last year before we left, I’d go to visit on my own and Blue would disappear somewhere. It’s weird. When Blue was younger, he’d always want Professor Oak’s approval. Idolized the man. After that... it was like he didn’t care anymore.
No... it was like he actively wanted the professor’s disapproval. But he didn’t talk about it, and I didn’t ask. I figured that if Blue had something he wanted to tell me, he’d say it. If he didn’t say it, I didn’t need to know.
And then the Professor gave us the Pokédexes and we left Pallet Town. As far as I know, Blue never went back.
Maybe it wasn’t so much that I didn’t understand pain. That alone might have been adequately explained to me. Maybe the problem was that I didn’t understand the fear of pain. And maybe it's something that normal people just know without having to be told, and so it doesn't occur to them that anyone needs an explanation.

Blue Like Water

Spoiler: show

Fourth Warning

You’ve been to Lavender Town, right? Saw the Radio Tower there. Stupid "progress". I’ve wondered for a while if Team Rocket was involved somehow. It seems likely.
That Radio Tower, it used to be called the Pokémon Tower. It was where people went to honor the spirits of the dead.
I went there, after Raticate died. I cried a lot; who wouldn’t? And when I finally stood up and turned around to go... Red was there.
...It was a bad time for Red to show up. I was already having trouble staying calm, and well, I blamed Red for what happened. And there he was, looking half-asleep like he always did, vaguely puzzled but nothing else. Red has two basic expressions, confident and apathetic. Neither of those was really appropriate for that place.
It didn’t help that by then I was kind of scared of Red.

“You were scared of Red?” Crystal asked, surprised.
“I still am,” Blue replied. “It’s not something I’m ashamed to admit. Red is scary. I think he has some kind of code, but I don’t know what it is and I can’t figure it out. From my perspective, Red can do anything, will do anything. I’m not so much afraid for myself, though, as I am for the Pokémon he comes across...”

Anyway, the Pokémon Tower.
I think he asked why I was there. I don’t remember answering. I think I just returned a question for a question -why was Red there?
He was just curious. Wondered what the really tall building was.
I kind of snapped. I couldn’t deal with Red’s indifference anymore.
“Do you know what it’s like to lose a Pokemon?” I practically yelled at him. I wanted him to hurt like I was hurting, I wanted him to lose that stupid zonked-out, apathetic expression he always seemed to wear -like nothing fazed him, like he didn’t care about anything.
Whatever else I can say about Red, he isn’t stupid. Never was. He could take a hint.
He didn’t look sleepy anymore. Or puzzled. He looked kind of shocked, actually... and maybe a little upset. I’ve always had a hard time reading Red’s expressions, and this was one I hadn’t seen before.
It calmed me down a little. Before he could say anything, I walked around him and left.
I didn’t want to pollute my grief with anger.
And I didn’t want to admit that I envied Red's nonchalance.

Red Like Blood

Spoiler: show

Grief

I ran into Blue a few times in the days that followed -outside of Viridian City, outside Cerulean City, on the S.S. Anne. We’d have a Pokémon battle every time we met. It sort of became our tradition.
The first time that tradition was broken was when we ran into each other in Lavender Town.

I honestly don’t remember why I went to the Pokémon Tower. It probably wasn’t important.
The important thing is that I ran into Blue there. He looked kind of upset.
“Hey, Blue, why’re you here?” I asked. I was trying to be a little less blunt than usual, but I don’t know whether I was successful. I’ve never been what anyone would call tactful. Blue used to say it was like I didn’t have any sense of what other people’s reactions meant.
Thing is... I didn’t. It didn’t help that it was like most people were actively hiding their real feelings from me.
I don’t hide what I feel so much as I don’t instinctively act on it. I don’t have that direct impulse to action connection that most people have at least a little of. Almost everything is conscious for me. Blue’s the opposite, I’ve noticed; it’s really hard for him not to act on his emotions. That’s part of why I like him; he’s easy to understand.
Blue didn’t ever answer my question directly. Just turned it around.
“Why are you here, Red?”
I don’t remember what exactly I said, but it was the wrong thing. He kind of exploded.
“Do you know what it’s like to lose a Pokémon?” Blue yelled at me.
I froze up. I had a bad feeling about that question... a really, really bad feeling.
I mean, why would Blue ask that out of nowhere the way he did, unless...
I could hear it in his voice, the way I couldn’t with most people. The rest of that statement, that he’d never admit, because Blue doesn’t say anything when he’s in pain.
Because I do, and it hurts.
And I could hear the accusation.
And it’s your fault.
I wanted to say something, but I didn’t know what to say, and before I could come up with anything, Blue walked around me and left.
Still kind of dazed, I walked over to look at the stone he’d been standing in front of. I didn’t want to know, but I had to.
Sure enough, that stone was for Blue’s Raticate. The next time I fought him, at Silph, he didn’t have it.
I remember that when we battled on the S.S. Anne, Raticate lost its whiskers. I wrote in the Pokédex, later, that it seemed to lose its balance without them. It didn’t occur to me then that that might be more than a temporary inconvenience.
Did the loss of balance eventually cause Raticate’s death?
I’ll never know for sure, because Blue certainly won’t tell me. But that doesn’t matter.
I’ll remember it as one more thing I have to make up for. Because even then I regretted it. Even then I felt guilty that I’d caused Blue that kind of grief.
Even then I envied Blue’s ability to care so much.

It’s weird. I didn’t learn what grief was on my own. I learned it through Blue. I didn’t feel bad for Raticate, dying... I was unhappy that I’d hurt Blue. Because I hadn’t wanted to. Because Blue is my friend.
I can’t care about people in the abstract. I just don’t think like that. I care about certain individuals, but the rest of the world... doesn’t matter.
Blue’s not like that. Someone he met just a few minutes earlier, he’ll give all he has to protect.
When I was younger, I didn’t even understand that Pokémon were people. But Blue, he’s always understood that.
I wonder if that’s what he was trying to tell me. The lesson he wanted me to learn.
Or maybe the thing he wanted me to learn was regret.

How do the little 'framing story' segments work? Are they intrusive? Do they seem to make sense?

[Aldraia Dragonsong]

Thread Necromancy ahoy~
After a long, long delay, I got more of this written. This time it is an introduction to the 'framing story' - just throwing the reader into Red and Blue talking without explaining who they are telling these stories to or why seemed to me like it might leave readers confused, so I wrote a few segments to go before what already is written.
Keeping in mind that this is actually supposed to be read before what is already here in the thread, does it work or does it only muddle things further?

Silvergold Sayings

Spoiler: show

Journal Entry

They have a saying here in Kanto. “Blue like water, red like fire, green like leaves on trees.”
I wonder if it means something or if it's just one of those things people say without really understanding it? Like those children’s rhymes for skipping rope.
It kind of reminds me of that saying from back home. “Heart of gold and silver soul, mind like crystal clear.” But that one does mean something; it’s what a Pokemon Master needs to have. Or at least that’s what they say.
Mother says she named me Crystal because of the three, the last is hardest. I don’t really think that’s true though. I think they’re all equally difficult.
Ah! But I’m getting distracted. The point is that an old man told me that saying, and then he said something strange. He said that years ago he met a boy who said it differently. The boy said “blue like water”, but then he said “red like blood”.
I wonder what that means?


Summit Battle

Crystal entered the summit of Mount Silver, blinking at the relative brightness of the chamber. She walked up a short flight of stairs onto a bridge of stone, gazing around in awe. Slowly she crossed the bridge, thinking she saw something on the other side.
As she drew near, she could see the figure more clearly: a person, standing on a raised platform almost like a natural dais.
Crystal had not expected to meet another Trainer here. After all, Professor Oak had referred to the place as largely off-limits.
“Hello,” she said politely.
The Trainer turned around, clearly as startled as she had been. The expression quickly faded, however, his eyes half-closing as though he were sleepy.
“I’m Crystal,” she introduced herself. “Who are you?”
The boy -he looked only a few years older than her, really- touched his hat.
“...Hat?” she asked, puzzled.
He shook his head and touched the hat again.
Crystal’s second guess was the hat’s color.
“Red?”
The boy nodded.
“Okay, nice to meet you, Red. What are you doing here?”
Red shrugged.
“...Red, can you talk?” Crystal asked.
Red shook his head.
“Oh.” Crystal tried to think of something else to say... and suddenly hit upon it. There was one universal language among Trainers, after all...
“Red, you’re a Trainer, right?”
Red nodded.
Crystal could feel a smile working its way onto her face.
“Me too. Let’s have a battle.”
Red smirked, the slight shift changing his expression from apathetic to confident. For answer, he drew out a Pokéball and stepped back.
“Pika!”
Crystal glanced down, startled. She had not even noticed the Pikachu standing by Red’s side.
Name Red. It was not that common a name. A Pikachu standing around outside of its Pokéball, in a place like this...
“You’re that Red?”
Red nodded.
Crystal’s smile widened.
“Well, this should be fun.”
Red threw the Pokéball.


Leader’s Warning

“Hiya!” Crystal greeted Blue cheerfully.
“You look familiar,” Blue said, thinking. “Ah, yes, you’re the one who actually beat me, aren’t you? Why are you back?”
“Just wanted to tell you I found an old friend of yours,” Crystal said airily.
“An old friend of mine?”
“Yeah, Red went missing a while ago, didn’t he? Turns out he’s been in Mount Silver – training, probably.”
Blue froze, gaze boring into Crystal with sudden intensity.
“You saw Red?”
“Well, yes. We battled, in fact.”
Blue’s expression was horrified.
“Are you all right? Are your Pokémon all right?”
“By the end we were all pretty banged up, me from climbing the mountain and them from the battle, but we stopped in at the Pokémon Center as soon as we could and we’re all fine now.”
Blue breathed a sigh of relief.
“How did you get into Mount Silver, anyway?” he asked. “It’s restricted.”
“Professor Oak said the same thing, but he also said I could go.”
“Ah,” Blue said softly, “the professor. Of course.”
Crystal looked at Blue with confusion. After a moment, Blue shook his head and added, “If Red’s there, you should stay out of Mount Silver.”
“What? But I won!”
Blue looked somewhat surprised as he replied, “And that’s impressive, but my advice remains the same. There are more important things than whether you win or lose.”
“Look, I’d think that having an experienced trainer like Red around would make Mount Silver safer.”
“Having an experienced trainer around would. Having a trainer like Red around makes things far more dangerous.”
“Why?”
Blue’s eyes met Crystal’s, and she almost shivered at the look in them. Blue, like Red, was only a few years old than Crystal, but his eyes were the eyes of a man who has lived decades. And not particularly nice decades.
“It’s a long story,” he said, “and not the kind that ends with ‘and they lived happily ever after’.”
“Tell it, then,” Crystal replied. “I’ll listen anyway.”
“You won’t believe it. No one ever has.”
“Maybe that’s just because you gave up before you got to the people who’d believe you. You’re not a liar. That’s obvious even to me. Tell me what happened, please.”
“And why should I?”
“Because if you don’t, I’ll just go back up to Mount Silver and ask Red. I’m too curious to leave something like this be.”
“Nosy, more like,” Blue scoffed.
“If I wasn’t, I wouldn’t have gotten this far.”
Blue studied Crystal carefully. What he was looking for, she could not have guessed, nor was she certain whether he wanted to find it.
Silence stretched between them, Champion and Gym Leader, for some time.
“All right,” Blue said finally. “Come here tomorrow morning and I’ll you the story.”

To be continued in Blue Like Water.

No one stopped a boy with long red hair sneaking away from the gym. Indeed, no one paid him any mind, for no one had noticed him eavesdropping under the window.


Perish Song

A long-haired boy entered the summit of Mount Silver. He did not stare about in awe. He merely walked straight up to the dais, stopping in front of the silent young man who waited there.
“I need to talk to you,” said Silver.
Red did not answer him.
“You know,” Silver went on, “don’t you? You know, you’ve known for a while, and that’s why you’re here. You’re not training like she thinks. You’re hiding. From them.”
Red simply watched Silver with his sleepy-eyed gaze, and said nothing.
“Say something! Say something, you selfish child!”
That Silver was even younger than Red did not appear to matter to Silver, though the irony amused Red if the slight smile that appeared was any indication.
“How long have you been here?” Silver demanded. “How long have you been hiding instead of doing anything? How long have you known, and done nothing? What’s wrong with you? If you don’t know what’s going on, then why are you hiding out here? If you do know what’s going on... then why are you hiding out here?”
Red’s expression went from ‘sleepy amusement’ to ‘sleepy boredom’.
“Answer me!”
Red still said nothing.
Silver clenched his hands into fists, glaring at Red. As he searched for words that would affect the apathetic former Champion, the Misdreavus that dwelt in Mount Silver began to draw near.
The first wail, Silver ignored. But then another and another and another joined it, more and more in a swelling cacophony and Silver had to put his hands to his ears as he winced with the pain of hearing so many overlapping Perish Songs.
Red just continued to watch him, smiling that sleepy smile again.
The wailing slowly seemed to coalesce into a single voice. A boy’s voice.
Then, suddenly, it was silent.
Silver looked up just as there was a flash of light, and found himself at the entrance to Mount Silver.
“Hello,” said a voice behind him... the same voice that the wails had seemed to become.
Silver turned around to look at Red. Somehow, Red still wore the same sleepy smile.
“You must be Gold,” said Red. “It’s nice to finally meet you.”

To be continued in Red Like Blood.

I feel conflicted as to whether I should describe the battle between Red and Crystal when it happens or much later on in the story, when the details become relevant. Anyone have thoughts on this?

[QuoteMyFoot]

!!! Omg, I totally forgot this thing existed.

I actually really like this little introduction thing, and the sayings/games thing made me grin. I feel like it makes things clearer, and I agree with keeping Crystal's battle out of it until it becomes relevant, mainly because I suspect it would only contradict some things atm, though that's just a guess.

Also-- maybe this is just me, but I'm kinda really confused about how Red Like Blood seems to jump from "Blue hates his grandfather" to "this is what happened on our journey!". I think this is mostly because I felt like you were going to explain the grandfather thing and then... you don't. If this is something you're keeping back for later, is it possible to talk about something else in those segments? I don't know, it's just really jarring because it feels like Red is responding to what Blue is telling Crystal.

[Aldraia Dragonsong]

*Aldraia opens her mouth to answer Quote.
Aldraia pauses, frowns, and looks over the story again.*
Ah, now I see what happened there. Red starts out trying to explain it, and gets sidetracked. I had not noticed that, so thank you for pointing it out. Hmm. I must think on this more. I want to tell the story in this order, saving the explanation for the moment in the journey when Red himself figures it out, but I also want it to make sense that Red tells the story that way, and Silver does not interrupt him to demand a proper explanation. I shall work on it. Have you any suggestions?
[EDIT] Looking over it again, it looks like all I need to do is cut a few lines out of "Compassion":

Spoiler: show

What you need to understand about Blue is that he hates his grandfather. And what you really need to understand is why.
For the longest time, I didn’t. And that was part of the problem. I accepted it but I didn’t understand it, and I didn’t try to understand. Maybe if I had, we could have avoided all this.

If I cut that part out, the segment is left looking like this:

Spoiler: show

Compassion

So how was it I started again? Ah, right. Several years ago, in Pallet Town... you know what, that’s a terrible way to start this story. Doesn’t matter what I do with that beginning, it doesn’t come out right.
So. Let’s try it this way. The point of the story is that you want to know what’s up with Blue and me, right?
Several years ago, Blue and I lived in Pallet Town. We were best friends, but we were the kind of friends who bickered constantly. And whenever we were having an argument, I’d call him Blue and he’d call me Red.
We weren’t born Red and Blue, you know. Those are names we gave each other, and kept using when we left our old ones behind.
Blue did it because he hates his grandfather. I did it because... well, I’ll get to that. First, Pallet Town.
So. It was when we were... nine, I think. It was the kind of bright sunny day that Blue and I always met up to do stuff on, so I wasn’t at all surprised when he showed up.
I was kind of surprised by his expression, though. He looked lost, and scared, and angry, and something else I couldn’t identify.
I think, looking back, that that something else was hurt. The pain of betrayal.
I must have called him by name, because he turned the anger on me. Insisted that I call him Blue from then on.
I didn’t know why he wanted that when before he’d preferred to be called by name, but I shrugged and agreed. I didn’t really care which I called him, as long as he answered.

“What was his name?” Silver asked.
“The one he was born with?” Red inquired.
Silver nodded.
“I don’t speak that name anymore,” said Red. “It doesn’t exist for me. He’s Blue, and he’s always been Blue. Just like I’m Red, and I’ve always been Red.”

Blue like water. Red like blood.
I misinterpreted that the first time he said it. Thought it was a joke. I laughed then, because I thought it was funny.
I was such a silly child. Maybe I still am.
After all, I still think of Blue as my friend.

That, I think, removes the implication that Red is going to talk about Blue hating his grandfather and instead makes it sound like Red is going to talk about Blue in general. Do you agree?

[QuoteMyFoot]

Yeah, I think the line is an improvement, but now there's not much to say what cause Blue's state in the first place - I think if you just added a throwaway reference, like, "I didn't know what had happened until later", it would settle the issue for the time being. I think. If that makes sense.

Good work, by the way.

[ShonenHero]

I don't really have any professional criticism Aldraia, and for that I apologize! However, I did want to say what little snippets you have available are very enjoyable reads. If you ever compile them, and decide to make a full fledged darkfic you have my blessings! XD

Also, I get Dexter Morgan vibes every time I read Red. Polite, friendly, emotionally apathetic except to a handful of people, and absolutely creepy.

[Satori]

Wow, this is, yeah, slightly creepy, but also very.... it just draws you in, because you know a car wreck is on the way and you *have* to know who hits who.