Crossover Constructive Criticism

[AzureEye]

Uh, Hi. I'm not exactly sure how to exactly express this but; the basic gist of what I need some help is regarding two events, and an team idea for my fic on FFN; I find myself asking what most likely be a good, and sound reason.

I'd use the Spoiler tag, but I don't know how so please bare with me....

It's a basic crossover with HP and Naruto, set during 3rd of HP and during Post-Genin Test towards Zabuza Arc, a bit after that. Quick Sum: Team Iruka saves Harry from the Dursleys (he never got away after the Marge incident), and becomes a Shinobi after a talk with Kotetsu. Naruto, after the Wave Event is kicked off/requested to be take off Team 7, reasons I'm uncertain of; probably neglect of Kakashi's part (Side note: Chuunin exams are in March for plot reasons). I'm uncertain whether or not the Sandaime would travel to Hogwarts with Naruto's new team and Harry's team (since he will NOT be on any team at Hogwarts, will be explained in earlier chapters) or should I have just use a member of Team Iruka to meet up with them before taking the two teams straight to Hogwarts? Naruto's going in order to go under deliver something to A member of Team Iruka.

The second thing is the Chuunin Exams; the Preliminaries. I'm tempted to stick to the Temari vs Tenten and Kiba vs Naruto, however I've been playing with some ideas and wondered if it would more humorous to have a Temari vs Luna and Tenten vs Kankuro instead?

Luna's fighting style, is a mix of Kurenai's Genjutsu and Anko's vicious training. Which would I think, with Luna's dream-like personality, cause Temari to underestimate her, before getting thrown off by the serious and surprise attacking of the girl.

Harry's Team are constant of OC's; mainly for the subplot that's built up during the winter holidays; The male OC is a survivor of the Bloodline massacre in Kiri, and about two years older then Harry. While a kind kid, he is filled with a cynical view on life and people. He's a Weapon Master like Tenten. The female OC is projectile fighter rather then a ranged fighter. She's the mature one of the team, but is also naive due to the fact that she's the only female in her family.

Naruto's team; I've been debating for awhile. I'm learning towards Shikamaru and Shino, or also using OC's as well. I would appreciate to have constructive criticism thanks!

[Tempest Kitsune]

Okay man, a few things. One, the timeline for this. How is Iruka now a Jounin Sensei (which is what I'm reading the whole "Team Iruka" thing as) when he was a Chuunin Academy Teacher barely a month beforehand? Second, why would Sarutobi even let Harry out of his village without his sensei and team? Is this him being hired out on a prolonged mission? And if so, wouldn't he be rather suspicious of Dumbledore asking for new genin? Next, how did Luna suddenly become a shinobi in the first place? Wizards aren't shown as being at all capable of hand-to-hand combat, and their reliance on wands would get them killed in a straight fight with a shinobi. Why do you need to introduce OCs into the mix for Harry's team, when it'd be easier to go into the filler arcs from Naruto and pull characters from there? Where does Naruto and his new team, which as you've written here would involve gutting two other functioning teams for no apparent reason, fit into all of this?

[gman391]

Hoo boy....Um okay there are some good ideas here.
Having Team Iruka be the one to save Harry is a bit different and makes a nice change from the norm.

But the rest of it...well frankly is kind of a mess. Team Iruka is more or less disbanded by the time Naruto graduates.
Kakashi may have not been the best teacher for Naruto but Naruto's not one to cut and run.
Why would Harry join Konoha when he has friends in the England?
For that matter how did Team Iruka get to England in the first place?
And why would Luna join?

These are all points that need to be addressed before you start writing my friend.
Also OC characters aren't the devil incarnate for me but I read fanfiction to read about the main characters. Something to keep in mind.

[AzureEye]

@TempestKitsune; Iruka's still a Chuunin, the reason he's going is because of his expertise of teaching. Him and his team were selected in order to protect Harry from Sirius Black, it's set during the normal Naruto time. As for the hand to hand combat, Harry's pretty much being forced to learn during the month of august, training 16 hours a day and rotating between the teachers. The way I see it, Magic and Chakra are the same, both of them are life energy the flows through the body. The only difference is how it is utulized, Magic is being used throw a focus ex: A wand, and Chakra is more physical. The reason Luna joins is, 1) Iruka notices her affinity for illusions, and 2) is offered sanction after nearly getting killed by some Ravenclaws, were played a prank on her, though didn't realize that it nearly killed her.

The OC's are plot reasons for Mei Terumi, Yagura and Utakata. The survivor of the Kiri holds resentment and bitterness towards Yagura, and during a mission assigned to them by the Sandaime, comes across the Kiri-nin, and well... it doesn't go all that well. I'm still debating about OC's for Naruto's team, since I'm leaning more and more towards Shikamaru and Shino instead.

Team Iruka was sent AFTER Naruto graduated. Dumbledore hired them to protect Harry from Sirius Black, but also to retrieve him from the Durlsyes. I don't see Shinobi being oh-so accepting of abuse, Harry does leave England because of that. At first their hurt by the sudden declaration, but want Harry to be happy. Their relationship is going to be stiff for a while.

Team Iruka left two weeks prior to when the mission actually started, in order to make it to England. They took a ferry that got them to the other continents, before taking an alternate route to get there. Does that answer the question?

[Farmer_10]

Also we seem to be forgetting that shinobi training is a long term thing. These kids get taught from the age of.....I want to say seven or eight. At least four years of schooling and training. And that's just to be a beginner. You're giving Harry six months ,according to my math , to become upper genin-level. You could probably use some kind of Time-turner exploitation Hack, bet even then it's iffy. Still, it's the most legitimate method I can see for you to pull this off. How you'll do it without significantly aging Harry...well you're the writer you figure it out. Maybe something with the philosophers stone?

And yeah, why is Luna there?

[MrRigger2]

Given that Sasuke was already in the Academy when Itachi slaughtered the clan, and that happened when Sasuke was seven, and graduation was when Sasuke was twelve, that's at least five years at the academy. Five years of training to make a kid a basic, entry level genin. A couple of months of training, to a kid who hasn't had any of the indoctrination of the shinobi village, from an entirely different culture, is not going to put him at the same level. Especially a malnourished kid like Harry (I'm not going to argue over whether or not the Dursley's actually physically abused Harry, but he definitely didn't eat right when he was with them). I'm not saying that this idea doesn't have a little bit of promise, but it needs a fair bit of reworking if it's going to make any kind of internal sense.

MrRigger

[AzureEye]

@Farmer_10: I understand your concern over the the time period, I would like to bring up how some writer's have had Naruto, one a different teams mind you; work his asshole to go from a below average Genin to a Genin or beyond; what I'm saying is why can't Harry do the same? And I would prefer it if you didn't use "Oh that's because he's a Jinchuuriki/already a Konoha Shinboi/grown up in the village" those are REALLY weak excuses. As for the Time Turner... that's something I haven't actually thought about yet, hmm.....

@ MrRigger2: Thank you for pointing that out, and I can see with assurance that it is possible. How? My mother had six DAYS, yes, DAYS, to go an entire year of University for her job.Harry has an entire month with several different teachers to aid him getting up to scratch, and while he wouldn't the best or most experienced Genin the world, he's still be able to hold his own in a fight. In my fic; there was a lot more then just physical abuse while leaving at the Dursleys, due to the severe damage that was inflicted upon him, his own magic acted like a Chakra control exercise while healing.

[Farmer_10]

I like it but switch the physical abuse part to his body constantly fighting off Voldemorts soul. More believable as a constant drain and helps legitimize his growth even more. The abuse required for him to be constantly healing would have to be monstrous and that's a dark and angsty road that's way too well-travelled.

And those are not weak excuses:
Jinchuuruki: Capable of pushing himself to inhuman limits. He may not work himself longer (there's only so many hours in the day), but he can push himself way harder and recover much faster.
Already a genin/villager: That means building something into something much better with all the advantages Naruto already has. With Harry you're trying to make something better from next to nothing. It's all about time. Harry doesn't have the luxury of training since childhood to be a soldier or an immortal demon in his gut providing infinite stamina and magic/chakra/whatevs.

Your idea is workable, but you're gonna have to set restraints. You can't make harry some taijutsu prodigy or even an up-close fighter. He doesn't have time for that. Basic above civilian strenght and good enough reflexes, but that's it with your timeframe. At best low to mid-genin. You CAN make him an above average Nin/Gen ( and eventual Fuinjutsu if you roll that way) type, with the life-long training from hell his body's been going through thanks to the soul fragment.

As for the Oc's: Tricky. But keep em out Naruto's team. There's plenty of perfectly good choices in the canon cast, no need to fix what ain't broke.

[Tempest Kitsune]

Azure, while getting up to scratch knowledge-wise may be possible, you've then only got a scrawny, highly informed kid. The physical part of the training would take much more time than that. Probably years. And you're completely ignoring the whole issue of culture shock, and Harry quite possibly refusing to learn how to kill. One of the reasons they start training the kids so young in Naruto is that it gets them acclimated to the idea of having to kill someone (granted, that doesn't mean that they won't have a breakdown or reaction of some sort, but they'll be expecting it, and they won't have it right at that second on the battlefield). Also, giving him several different teachers is by no means a recipe for success. In fact, it would probably hurt him in the long run, as conflicting methods and styles of fighting are taught to him and he tries to employ them in a fight.

Also, please man, can you try running your posts though a grammar-check or something? It hurts to read your stuff.

[AzureEye]

@ Farmer_10: The physical abuse has already been established in the first chapter, however who says that his Chakra/magic couldn't also be fighting off the Horcrux (if I decided to bring them in....) by circulating through his chakra system? And also, this isn't going to be a "Happy-Happy Joy" fic. And I apologize I should have elaborate about them being those two points being "weak excuses" by that I meant, it's simply been done to death. I'm trying to break away from the cliche, focus more upon hard working. As for Harry's career, I plan on making him a medic-nin that was decided WAAAAY before I even started the fic. Also, do mind elaborate upon "Taijutsu prodigy" do you mean like Gai and Lee or having monstrous strength like Tsunade? Once again for the soul fragment, I haven't decided whether or not if it will even bee in the fic.... Book 6 and Book 7 were just....ewww... no. Do you mean checking over my OC's just to make sure that they aren't Mary Sue/Gary Stu?

@ Tempest Kitsune: Thank you for bringing that up. First off; I actually plan on having the whole killing issue brought in during the 3rd Chapter. And, that issue won't just go away easily. I plan on flaws and detrimental effects to come out of Harry's training as a drawback to the training. For my grammar... I know, it's horrible I'm trying my best at making it legible.

[gman391]

Taijutsu prodigy just means someone who is great at fighting hand to hand. Gai is an example although Neji is probably a better one.

Anyways why would Dumbledore hire Ninja anyway? Why would he hire chuunins for the job? Sounds like an A ranking mission to me. That means jonin. For that matter how does Naruto world and HP even coexist? And yes the ninja's might not approve of the abuse (although really it's an open question of whether or not they would care/consider it abuse )

Why does Harry have a chakra system? And why oh why would the Ninja default on a contract by not bringing Harry back.
I'm not saying that Harry could go to Konoha or that that Team Iruka couldn't pick him up

(Hmmm Harry interacting with young Kakashi) but this story doesn't make a lot of sense you seem to have Harry become a ninja going against much of his established character just because you want Harry to be a ninja! And you're completely derailing the continuity of the series too.

And sure hypothetically if you were smart enough you can do a university course in six days. Ninja's are different you have to change how your body moves, spatial awareness learn the human body ect...

I'm not saying that the concept is bad just that...it needs to be further developed and reasoned out.

[AzureEye]

Aaaah, thanks for the clarification. I wasn't sure if Farmer_10 meant in strength or ability.

As for Dumbledore hiring Shinobi, it's mainly to protect Harry from Sirius Black (Set during 3rd Year), since during that time I don't people had a clear understanding of how strong Sirius was at that point; since reasonably speaking just selling someone out would not automatically make apart of the Inner Circle, but that's my overall opinion. Also the reason why Iruka was given the mission is A) due to his teaching ability and B) Due being a former ANBU (he joined after Kakashi left), which will be covered later on.

As for the Chakra System; my understanding is that EVERYONE has a Chakra system running through their bodies. However, it's Shinobi and on a different scale, Wand-users access and use the power.

As for Harry becoming a Shinobi, he was given a several options: 1. Come to Konoha, and be adopted. 2. Become a Shinobi. 3. Remain at Hogwarts, and possible be placed with people he doesn't know or the Weasleys. Since Harry is aware of who saved him, in a way he feels in debt towards them and his general interest in the Shinobi in general.

Also, I'm quite curious to what you mean by completely derailing the continuity of the series.

[bookworm702]

Harry Potter takes place in roughly late 20th centrury England. Naruto takes place in a fantasy world with technology varying from the 1800's to the 1970's. The question is simple: how do you explain how these two very different worlds came to coincide?

[AzureEye]

With all due respect bookworm702; It's Fanfiction. I can alter the timeline, many fanfic writer's do this. And, also was Naruto ever given a precise date and age?

[gman391]

Um the timeline with regards to Iruka. Really
Iruka's only 22 years old when we see him for the first time.
I'm not saying that he can't be ex ANBU (Although it would have to be concurrent to Kakashi rather than after given the timing)

But Iruka's set as an admin ninja until the new class comes in and then is sent to look after Konohamaru's group. Not a lot of time to go to another country and grab Harry, Train Harry and somehow come back to Konoha. That's not even including a rather hectic summer for Harry and

Anyways it doesn't really matter when Naruto is set. It's a separate universe. And everyone in that universe has Chakra it does not then follow that everyone in every universe has chakra.
And if you have Naruto and HP in the same verse your going to have to explain that in a way that makes sense. Not an easy task. Not the least is the question of where the hell the Elemental Countries are.

As for Harry having three options...no he has more options than that.
He could for example return to Hogwarts and pay a nice fee to ensure that he's well taken care of. He could just leave both worlds. He could decide to go to another school. He has options, whether or not he's aware of them is another matter.

Besides that Harry is a minor. He has no legal say in what happens to him. Konoha is not about to completely disregard a client's wishes just because some of their members feel bad for Harry. Merc groups don't work like that. Harry doesn't get a choice until after 7th year. And by then well he's not likely to be viable to be a ninja.

So yeah I'm not saying that Harry can't become a ninja. But this way? might not be the best way.

Also a thought occurs to me: Why would Dumbledore hire ninja anyway? He seems to trust the School to be enough in canon...

[gamebrain89]

With all due respect bookworm702; It's Fanfiction. I can alter the timeline, many fanfic writer's do this. And, also was Naruto ever given a precise date and age?

That doesn't mean you don't have to explain how. For example, I bet you 20 bucks that if you post a fic where Naruto just happens to have a lightsaber without explaining it, people are gonna call you on it. But say, have the Kyuubi rip a whole through the fabric of space and time and a lightsaber falls out of it into Naruto's lap, that's not going be nearly as big a problem. Saying, "Because I said so", doesn't fly. Altering the timeline so characters are wildly different from the canon counterparts should be a last resort. You should work to make your ideas fit canon, otherwise, you might as well just be writing something original.

[AzureEye]

@ gman391

Errr.... by Age and Date I meant the year, DC; that kinda thing.... and who says that the Elemental Continents are in another world? They could just be an either heavily underdeveloped country or depending on perspective, highly advanced perspective. Not many people could have had contact with the Elemental Continents, could have just been a stroke of chance/fate that Sarutobi and Dumbledore meet.

I also like so see Harry as a bargaining piece in away; instead of pay, they could simply have Harry. Why? 1. Shows potential to be a strong Shinobi, 2. Could strength Konoha's strength and ties with the Wizarding world, and 3. Could provide interesting "bloodlines", so we ALL know Konoha seems to love Bloodlines. There are probably other reasons why, which will probably hit me at a later date. Also, from Iruka and on a level, Anko's characters and backgrounds; I can't, I REALLY REALLY can't see either of them leaving Harry there. Not just because him being abuse, but also the potential that's being put to waste.

For your last note; I'm still pending on Dumbledore finally found his common sense, or there's something else that's just waiting to appear out of the shadows.

@ gamebrain89

Okay, you got a point. But there ARE many things that can be explained via flash backs as well. And I'll a bit confused by how "Altering the timeline so characters are wildly different from the canon counterparts" do you mind elaborating a bit further?

On another note; this is FANFICTION, NOT canon. I will try to remain on the canon-time period as possible, I'm simply changing a few things and there. That's all. Your making it sound as I'm trying to write an original piece. Which I am not.

[gman391]

Well common sense would seem to indicate so.
Last I checked massive sentient energy beings were generally a good indicator of an alternate world of some sort. Along with completely different magic system, bodies (bloodlines) along with a completely separate history.
Incidentally Sarutobi's been doing the Shinobi thing more or less since he was twelve. When the heck did he have time to go out into the world to find Dumbledore? Dumbledore has a brief stint before becoming a professor but that still doesn't explain him finding the place.


Konoha could do that. IF Konoha never wanted another Client!
You don't f*** up a contract just because of potentially better shinobi and that's all Harry is POTENTIAL and a possibility is not worth screwing over one of your main source of income.
Mercenaries cannot afford to break a contract. They break a contract they lose trust and no one hires them. Thus they stop making money. Konoha is a mercenary organization that happens to have a permanent retainer contract with the Fire Daimyo.
Even if Wizards are that fugging great to have as a Shinobi bloodline they can always get another Wizard they don't need Harry. Hell beyond Harry's seeking skills (something not exactly terribly relevant to Shinobi) and supposedly stronger core he doesn't actually have all that much to offer.

Kidnapping Harry would cause relations between Wizards and Shinobi to plummet like a stone. Not strengthen them. If Harry later came back of his own free will then yes your point might be valid. But not here. Harry is until the second book something of an icon to the Wizarding world. Even after the Second book he's still well regarded. They aren't going to accept Konoha holding him as payment.

And furthermore even if None of that was an issue. You still have a chuunin willfully defying orders something Iruka wouldn't do. Also if Anko's there than why isn't she in charge of the mission? She is higher ranked after all.

Look if you want to do a Naruto/HP cross fine. But don't half ass it and handwave any issues away with excuses.
This is fanfic yes. But guess what we read fanfic to see interesting plots in the setting with our characters. That requires our characters to be in character and in most cases our setting to be within talking distance of canon. You don't get to say "Fanfic: I don't have to pay attention to the setting" not if you expect people to actually take you seriously. You may not be trying to write an original piece but you are completely altering the worlds at random to facilitate your plot. That's a bit of an issue.

Yes it is a hobby but that doesn't mean that we shouldn't take pride in our work or treat it as if it weren't writing. It's still writing and it should be respected for that.

Sorry if I come off as harsh. I'm not a perfect writer I have a lot I need to work on. But you asked for Con Crit you get it .

[Farmer_10]

I'm no writer, but I HAVE read enough to able to tell what the signs of a good fanfic are. Doing the research and showing your work. And more inportantly having someone be able to read your story and say to themselves "Yeah this could have happened in the canon story".

If the only complaints you have to deal with after are "CHARACTER SO AND SO IS DIFRENT NOW SUX" and "I DON"T LIKE YUR PAIRING HARRY/DRACO 4EVA" you've done your job.

[gamebrain89]

On, on the bit about altering the timeline. For example, say you want Hinata to be the one who had the Kyuubi sealed inside her rather than Naruto, that is going to wildly alter Naruto and maybe to a lesser extent hinata's personality. but if I rememeber correctly, she was not born yet when the kyuubi attacked. Now, just up and saying, no, she wasnt born on dec 27 she was born on such and such a date to facillitate the idea is poor writing, but there are lots of plausible ways to explain a delay. Arbitrarily aging or deaging characters, or throwing them conpletely out of the timeperiod so you can have them in the position you want them without explaining how just confuses people, and that keeps them from reading.

And i wasnt saying you were trying to write something original, I was saying that if someone isnt going to at least try and follow the in universe rules for whatever series you are playing in, or the rules they establish, they would be better off writing something original.

And as gman said, I as well have lots of things I can improve on my writing, and always will. We arent picking on you, we are just providing the dose of CC you asked for. Happy writing.

[AzureEye]

@ gman391

Magic and Chakra are forms of energy, so why can't they both be the same but used differently? I plan on sticking with the idea of the Elemental Continent being just another continent, rather then a separate world. Sarutobi and Dumbledore could have met under some sort of horrific/accidental circumstances, and became friends through that. Or a spell/Jutsu backfired horribly causing them to meet. There several ways the two could have met.

Well Harry WANTS to go with them, he's more then willing too. Sure, they gave him the options but overall it IS Harry's choice, no one else's. If Harry decided to stay at Hogwarts/England, the Konoha Shinobi would have accepted that. Harry, however decided to go with them. Dumbledore can't really do anything about it, it's his choice; and he's aware that Harry needs to learn his own accomplishments as well as his own mistakes.

Also IRUKA was assigned the mission, not Anko. SHE found out through Iruka, and decided to come along with him and his team.

And no, your right. I STILL have a lot I need to consider and work around, I'm grateful for your advice. So, thanks.

@ Farmer_10

I'm doing the best I can with research with the access I have from the HP books, since for some reason my computer doesn't seem to agree with Naruto sites at all. So I'm relaying mostly on Manga and the Anime.

I'll be the first to admit, there are a few characters that I don't really like but I at LEAST try to keep them in character. And on a note, I don't understand the appeal of "Drarry (DracoxHarry)" I really, really don't.

@ Gamebrain89

I know, I know. I wasn't trying to be rude, I really wasn't. As I stated above, I am grateful that all of you taking you time to help me make my fic work. It's just a bit frustrating, childish as it seems to have some ideas slapped right back at you; I've realized the mistakes and I can go back, fix it and hopefully make it flow better.

[gman391]

@ gman391

Magic and Chakra are forms of energy, so why can't they both be the same but used differently? I plan on sticking with the idea of the Elemental Continent being just another continent, rather then a separate world. Sarutobi and Dumbledore could have met under some sort of horrific/accidental circumstances, and became friends through that. Or a spell/Jutsu backfired horribly causing them to meet. There several ways the two could have met.

Well Harry WANTS to go with them, he's more then willing too. Sure, they gave him the options but overall it IS Harry's choice, no one else's. If Harry decided to stay at Hogwarts/England, the Konoha Shinobi would have accepted that. Harry, however decided to go with them. Dumbledore can't really do anything about it, it's his choice; and he's aware that Harry needs to learn his own accomplishments as well as his own mistakes.

Also IRUKA was assigned the mission, not Anko. SHE found out through Iruka, and decided to come along with him and his team.

And no, your right. I STILL have a lot I need to consider and work around, I'm grateful for your advice. So, thanks.

Leaving aside that HP is essentially an earth like our own with magic. Which raises the question of why no one has found the Elemental countries or even detected their existence...(Plate Tectonics work dammit)

Electricity and heat are forms of energy. That does not mean that a system that works with one works with another. And that logic also applies to magic and chakra. They seem to be entirely different systems. Naruto starts training early specifically because waiting to long will kill your ability to make chakra. In HP that's not an issue. Arguing that they are separate from each other.

Anko breaking military discipline to go with Iruka? What the hell? She's a Special Jonin not a newbie genin who can't follow orders. Especially given that her leaving would probably be construed as her rejoining Orochimaru.

Now the last issue and the one that irritates me a fair bit. Harry is a MINOR. A Minor is a person below the age of 18 or in some countries sixteen. They do not get the legal rights and responsibility that adults do. Instead they are under the guardianship and direction of which ever adult happens to be given custody rights. Normally a parent or close relative. They do not get to have anymore freedom then the guardian allows.

Arguably Harry should be made a ward of the state. But even then he still does not get a choice unless the guardians allow it. Dumbledore isn't about to let prophecy boy out of his sight. Any Guardians are of course going to be of the same mind except the Dursleys. Dumbledore may not be able to directly control Harry but he knows enough people and has enough influence to make sure Harry stays in the country.

So Harry may want to be a ninja (Which is again debatable as being in character or not) but he's not going to be a ninja. Not until he becomes an emancipated minor. Which runs into that whole Dumbledore controlling the courts thing.

This is a rather large problem Azure. Your going to have to solve it in order to make this believable.

[MrRigger2]

Magic and Chakra are forms of energy, so why can't they both be the same but used differently? I plan on sticking with the idea of the Elemental Continent being just another continent, rather then a separate world. Sarutobi and Dumbledore could have met under some sort of horrific/accidental circumstances, and became friends through that. Or a spell/Jutsu backfired horribly causing them to meet. There several ways the two could have met.

If you're going to have to have Magic/Chakra transparency, you need to explain that. However, I think most people are going to assume that they are two different things. If the Elemental Countries are just another continent, why in the world hasn't anyone noticed it? Because Harry Potter canon is supposed to be fit into the "real world". Naruto has no such restriction. And what I think we're asking you to do is tell us how Sarutobi and Dumbledore met or know of each other. Handwaving it with "There are several ways the two could have met" doesn't really cut it, if the two know each other well enough that Dumbledore would hire Sarutobi's shinobi instead of bringing together the Order of the Phoenix.

Well Harry WANTS to go with them, he's more then willing too. Sure, they gave him the options but overall it IS Harry's choice, no one else's. If Harry decided to stay at Hogwarts/England, the Konoha Shinobi would have accepted that. Harry, however decided to go with them. Dumbledore can't really do anything about it, it's his choice; and he's aware that Harry needs to learn his own accomplishments as well as his own mistakes.

I'm not sure that you're really grasping the fact that Harry, at this point, is in all ways considered to be a minor, someone not capable of making his own choices about his wellbeing. If Harry had the authority decide where he wanted to live, he would have left the Dursley's long ago. At twelve or thirteen, legally, Harry can't make his own choices. Not to mention that Dumbledore, in canon, has his own ideas about where Harry should live. Even after the Weasley's ripped bars off Harry's window, he sent Harry back to them.

Also IRUKA was assigned the mission, not Anko. SHE found out through Iruka, and decided to come along with him and his team.

I'm really not sure how this is going to work. Konoha is a military organization. If Anko was assigned to the mission, fine, but if she just heard that Iruka had the mission, thought it sounded interesting, and decided to tag along, that's not fine. It would likely be met with branding her a missing nin and sending Hunter Nin after her.

MrRigger

[Farmer_10]

You need to rewrite the motivation for training. Don't make it something that Harry just wants, make it something he NEEDS. The Death Munchers are either hiring or Imperiusing Missing-nin and Harry would love to not die. And hell you've got yourself a pretty interesting war-in-the-shadows situation right there. Since the dark tool isn't back yet to focus their efforts what you've got is a Cluster-f where the munchers keep siccing their Mercs on any and all political enemies they have.

[Kirai]

There is another problem, a genin is quite able to take on a fully grown deadeater. You have to aim those spells after all.

Never mind that ninja are far faster and stronger than a wizard.

A mere chunin would rip through dead eaters or other wizards with ridiculous ease. A lucky hit will of course take them out, but you need to hit the real one.

Then we get into area of effect genjutsu... etc. etc.

Really, if Dumbledore had easy access to ninja the deadeaters wouldn't be a problem... well ok, they would since Dumbledore wouldn't want to kill them.