The Blond Haired Ninja has a Syndrome

[Psalm Of Fire]

Ah yes, another good set of exceptions. They need care in execution, though, focusing on describing not what we already know, such as physical features, but things we don't, such as expression, air, and posture.

As for the question: Eyes are a special case, though probably not in the way you're thinking now. When an author wants to communicate that their character is being soulful, forge a connection between the reader and the character's emotional state, or portray beauty, they often describe the eyes. It's how we connect with actors in significant scenes. You know, "Windows to the soul" and all that.

But that's not usually how it works in narrative. Especially when they focus on color. In truth, color is often the least interesting part of the eye, even if it is the most obvious. If you have a good actor, it doesn't matter what color their eyes are. That's not what is engaging us. Its the expression, the tensions, the fear, the hope, the shame, all communicated in a flash through the eyes. We feel what they feel, and so connect and are drawn deeper in.

Did you see that? That last part? That is what authors are aiming for. But they get distracted by the obvious feature, the color, and miss the truly key part. As authors, we can help our readers connect with the characters by communicating those emotions, helping them feel what the character is feeling. But it's not going to happen through description of the eyes. You can describe a tenseness in the eyes, or something similar, but often you'll affect a reader more by communicating emotion through body language and dialogue. Or through describing the air about them. Or through a second character speculating what's running through the focus character's mind, again paired with observations on body language. There are many ways. But the fact remains, we can't see the eyes, and so we don't have the same response as we do to good acting. The art of narrative has different tools, or methods of communicating emotion and inciting empathy. It's best to learn and practice with them.

As for it being purple prose? Do I already know his eye color? Does being reminded of his eye color add to the scene?

For me, the answers are yes, I do, and no, it doesn't, making it wasteful description. Purple prose are usually considered indulgent. I'd say this is not, it's inexperience trying to translate the strengths of one medium to another. So I won't call it purple, but I would classify it as detractive.

"Eyebrows furrowed, storm clouds across his face." It's certainly flowery, but it helps me see something new and important. Too flowery, were it not a very important moment. To continue the scene I'd mention body language, and try to find a way to incorporate the perspective character's reaction, or some dialogue.

Eyebrows furrowed, storm clouds across his face. His shoulders sagged and he pressed his eyes closed. He fell to his butt. Cupped his head in his hands. "I... should have..." His voice shook.

Sakura looked away. She tried to finish the report, but choked on her words. Silence fell. It weighed down on Sakura. The seconds ticked away, until she couldn't stand it. She blurted the rest of the report.

Without context it will be harder for the passer-by to get into this scene and feel the emotional connection. Maybe I didn't even hit the mark. But, for me writing it, it feels weighty. Significant. And I hurt for Naruto and Sakura.

[emmy_k]

I think I understand your point.

But in writing where the reader doesn't necessarily know/remember somebody's eye color (original fiction, or fic of black and white comics/manga) I think some mention of it would be nice. I'm not certain where I got this - some genre fic, maybe? (Sighs. This probably goes waaaay back to my problem of descriptions in general.)

[Psalm Of Fire]

I've heard a rule (and remember, in writing all rules are just guidelines), that a given character's eye color should not be described more than twice per book unless it is significant to the plot. (Also remember, just with all guidelines, you need a good reason to break them.) I'm not advocating you never describe eye color.

It really does become indulgent after much more than that if the color of his eye has nothing to do with the scene. I find it to be filler and detractive to the scene.

A good example when it is relevant to the scene, would be a romantic interest getting to see their beloved character's eyes up-close, nose-to-nose for the first time, and really appreciating them. Or, something like "I'd never thought of Naruto's eyes as cold blue before. That day, when he stood of the corpse of a friend and look to the killer, Sasuke, I did. Cold enough that they still give me chills."

Does that make it any clearer? >.<