Adding "Boom-Pow!" to a Bare Scene / Getting Unstuck

[Psalm Of Fire]

Yesterday I was working on scene where Kakashi is given the simple piece of information: "that craftsmen look suspicious, he might be connected to the attack", and Kakashi was to answer "bring him in". When approaching the scene I had two main options on how to execute:

1) Strip the scene down to its bare essentials and disseminate the information as efficiently as possible. Many stories tagged as "plot driven" will take this route; it's efficient and energetic (an important thing happens fast and then we're off to the next scene).

2) Add something else to the scene that moves other parts of the story forward.

Because things were moving fast in my story already, and because we're still in the first phase of the book (where one introduces the world, characters, and conflict, though there's much less needed in Fan Fiction), I opted for option 2. I felt like it would be a lost opportunity if I didn't, especially since I still had some more world to introduce.

I proceeded to pound my head against the wall. Well, the first 15 minutes I didn't resort to that, simply my brain against the keyboard -- metaphorically speaking. After that, making metaphor literal seemed appropriate...

And then I remembered something a writing professional once said: "Every scene should establish the world, move the action forward, and develop character."

So I typed this:

World:

Action:

Character:

Well, we have the action: they've identified a suspect and are going to bring him in. What could I do for character? At this point, Kakashi is still in ANBU, so I thought I could illustrate some the reasons he chose to leave ANBU: a "rookie" fumbling about, someone he'd have to be team leader over if he stayed. Potential funny, especially from Kakashi's perspective, so I liked that.

The other major character in the scene was one of those "filler" OCs, someone who would just naturally be in Konoha, in the background of the manga, making the village run. Of course, adding a little depth and personality to these people when they pop in and out of the lives of our main characters is never a bad thing. For me, the goal is just enough to fill in the world and make it feel deep, but not enough to steal the spotlight. Here is a chance to give him that bit of depth.

I start out looking for something funny. The chapter had just come from some serious perspectives, weighty. Kakashi's perspective has been consistently lighter in tone, so that humor would fit well here. After the slightly cheesy humor of a clumsy initiate, I'm thinking something a little more subtle. How about "Kakashi is shocked to find the man has a kid". I could envision some of Kakashi's internal dialogue, and is widening eye to draw chuckle.

Two for three; now what about "world"? At the scene start I could have Kakashi interacting with old teammates, a few of the many people he had trained. It gives us a glimpse into Kakashi and his history, and a bit of the character and tone inside ANBU.

Great! So now we have this:

World: talking with old teammates, glimpse inside ANBU

Action: suspect identified

Character: one of the reasons for Kakashi to leave ANBU; Barrier ANBU agent has a child

...and yet I still couldn't get the words to flow. This time it didn't take so long, I remembered another key piece of advice: set seems someplace exciting, or someplace the reader would want to visit. How about "In the locker room when a border-threat response team is gearing up?" Yeah, now that sounds exciting.

With many scenes, especially ones that aren't going to be packed to the brim with action, I try to start by engaging the senses. The last scene I started by engaging sound, so this one I decided to engage smell.

I also like the and on an exciting note, so I'm always searching for that. Usually I don't have to plan out beforehand, though.

And so I found the words actually flowed!

So I've made a checklist for starting each scene, and it looks like this:

Location:

Action:

World Establishment:

Character Development:

I've begun filling out this checklist before starting the scenes. I find the scenes more dense and more interesting. They bring with them a life that before I often have to struggle to create. This checklist just helps make it part of the scene's DNA.

On an interesting note, the bit about the agent having a child turned out to be a light drama beat instead of a light comedy beat. It also gave Kakashi chance to be cool. It's funny how far the execution can vary from the plan!
Conclusion: Hopefully this method can help you get yourself unstuck as it did me, or just formulate more interesting scenes.

Any thoughts, fellow forumites?

P.S. If anyone does a before and after using this method, I'd love to see it!

[leon89]

Thank you Psalm, this looks like will be quite helpful. I have hit a road block with extending the earlier plot bunny of future!Naruto about to accidentally send himself into the past. I was feeling like i had spent to much time explaining what has happened during and since the war, rather then starting the story itself. but I think I will think about it some more.

[Psalm Of Fire]

You bet.

If I were to hazard a guess, that roadblock sounds more like a directional issue rather than a "I don't know what to do with this scene" issue. Is this the plot bunny you decided to "take the red pill" on we were talking about in another thread?

[leon89]

Yes it is the same one. "Taking the red pill" means I am trying to actually write it. Reading your suggestion helped me solidify the intial scene in my mind. I will probably just need a few more days to get my thoughts together.

[Psalm Of Fire]

Okay, cool. Good luck!

[leon89]

Thank you.


Just so you know, you've volunteered yourself to beta read it.

[Psalm Of Fire]

Ha, hardly. ;) I'm putting 20 hours a week into my own stuff on top of all the other goodies life throws at ya. Brainstorming problems I can usually do, but beta reading is a little more time intensive than I'm willing. Fortunately there are a lot of good authors here. Sorry, broheem!

[Phht]

You could always be a mediocre author and take the usual approach to OMG!roadblock: just add smut. You know, like all those instant food products with "just add water." ;)

I frequently have a "oooh, here's an idea, and here's where it could go, and here's a vague idea of how the two connect plot-wise" problem wherein the start and the cool later moment are pretty well imagined, but the scene(s) connecting those points aren't. In which case, I may be referring to this thread and trying it out if I hit one of those spots.

--

I have noticed in fics that they have something, but if you wonder "why is that?", there's no reason other than "because I/plot said so." If you're going to have some sort of super-awesome spell or whatever that's central to your plot, you need to be able to explain why that spell/whatever exists and so forth.

Your system could be altered slightly to help there.

Item:
Who made it: In the case of something like a bloodline, this could probably be skipped
Why: In some cases, this could probably be treated more like "why am I using this instead of something already established in canon"
Why isn't it known prior to the story: Also could be treated like "why aren't there any defenses/counters to this" or "why isn't this more widespread in use"
Where was it rediscovered:

Example:

Spoiler: show

Let's say you have a story where the main character has gotten his hands on a spell that turns females into harpies while enslaving them to the person that harpyfied them. This seems like the basis for a smut-filled harem HP fic wherein the harpy harem in the end is used to defeat the "bad guy". But that's not the topic of this example.

First question would be, Who the hell created this? Well, "why" might be first, but this leads to that. With this example, the answer would be: A Wizard Did It (sorry, couldn't help myself. also, tvtropes link). More accurately, a Dark Wizard. Dark wizards are known for doing bizarre dark stuff, so creating a spell to turn someone into a harpy isn't too outrageous. Unlike splitting their soul into seven pieces in an attempt to live forever.

But given that it's probably more time and energy efficient to have human minions instead of harpy (and a wider pool of possible minions since there's a lack of gender discrimination in the human minion pool compared to the harpy candidate pool), why would he come up with the spell? Veela are known to reside in Eastern Europe, so he was an Eastern European dark wizard that wanted a Veela harem and was repeatedly spurned by the Veela community on the topic. Thus, he decided to create cheap knock-off Veela and that resulted in harpies. Of course, the Veela heard about his creation of harpies, took offense, assaulted his base of operations, and exterminated him and all the harpies. And all copies of the spell and notes that they could locate at the time and ever since then.

So we end up with:

Item: Harpyfication spell
Who: Eastern European Dark Wizard
Why: Wish for Veela harem repeatedly spurned by Veela community
Why isn't it known about prior to the story: All known information on it wiped out by Veela over the centuries.
Where was is rediscovered: Chamber of Secrets

And now your core plot item has a more plausible place in the HP world instead of just "appearing" when needed for the story without resorting to "found it in the Restricted Section or Family Library" or "saw it in this SUPER ULTRA RARE dark spell book." Also, it could provide plot connections and source of possible conflict that could be used.

[Psalm Of Fire]

…So, become a monster to fight a monster? But that is a good outline of how to better integrate a spell/technique, nice list, Phht.
Use your powers for good, Phht, for good!