Hai, the amazing mystery ash ninja.

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Hai, the amazing mystery ash ninja.

Unread postby AshBellringer » April 28th, 2011, 12:04 am

:ninja:

Alright. So I am at a impasse now.

I have a mystery Gaijin/Blacksmith with no past, no family name, no real history to speak of, and a serious desire to be better. She's a blank slate and there is a lot that could go onto it.

Now I've got ideas. LOTS of ideas. But I'm not sure what I can use or not. So I'm callin' in the huddle. :hug:

Hopefully it's not going to lead to a mob. :mob

I want to hear what other people think, and hopefully come up with something workable that'll round out Hai more.
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Re: Hai, the amazing mystery ash ninja.

Unread postby spudman » April 28th, 2011, 2:19 am

Alrighty, start by tossing some of those ideas out there.
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Re: Hai, the amazing mystery ash ninja.

Unread postby AshBellringer » April 29th, 2011, 1:10 am

Ok.
The simple option: Hai is the daughter of a ninja from a different hidden village. Simple enough, could lead to bloodline development and conflict with another hidden village as they want Hai back, and didn't even know she was gone until she's noticed at the Chuninn exams.
The simple-but-complex option: Hai is the daughter of a ninja from a different country... used as a 'tyke bomb', to be used to kill the Hokage and pretty much everyone around her during the Chuninn exams during the final phase. Again, possible bloodline development, some serious angst on Hai's part if people are able to figure it out and someone tells her, and major conflict with another hidden village.
The Development option: Ignoring Hai's past, unknown still, Hai wants to learn more Taijutsu and Sougujutsu to improve her combat abilities, and undergoes a dangerous training regimen to strengthen her body even more for the extreme pressures she puts her body under from her unconventional combat style, now with a emphasis on grapples and weapon-play which leads to notice of the abandoned and orphaned kunochi...

Those are just a few things that popped into my head. I'm sure there's more, but those came to mind first.
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Re: Hai, the amazing mystery ash ninja.

Unread postby Phht » April 29th, 2011, 3:12 am

I was reading it and misread a section as "undergoes a dangerous training regimen to strengthen her body even more for the extreme pleasures she puts her body under". Left me wondering for a moment just what kinda of ninja WAS Hai trying to become. :panic:

Not entirely sure how the "tyke bomb" option would work. A genin vs a Kage is a no contest. And I'm pretty sure any explosive seals or the like on Hai would've been noticed (if the 'bomb' part was literal). So that one seems a little out there.

My thought would be that the development option would likely be a better bet at the moment out of the three.
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Re: Hai, the amazing mystery ash ninja.

Unread postby AshBellringer » April 29th, 2011, 10:55 pm

Well, my idea was a high-powered jutsu-bomb seal made in Hai's body. It would be charged by her own natural chakra, which is sightly higher and above-average.

The sign of the massive, long-charge justu-bomb being worked into her body is her (for her) frustrating inability to do anything with seals.

It'd be quite the bang if it's been charging since she was a tyke.


But really, I'm working on more ideas. I have a lot of wiggle room to play around with and I want something really fun...
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Re: Hai, the amazing mystery ash ninja.

Unread postby spudman » May 4th, 2011, 10:27 pm

Hai needs to develop some other skills more, though. Nishiyori will make sure of that during the two months.
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Re: Hai, the amazing mystery ash ninja.

Unread postby serbii » May 5th, 2011, 11:06 am

The sign of the massive, long-charge justu-bomb being worked into her body is her (for her) frustrating inability to do anything with seals.
Don't have all her faults and weaknesses caused by something. Everyone has them, no one is good at everything, don't make excuses for being bad at something. Just be bad at it.

Likewise don't make her unusually good for her rank, remember she's been a genin for a couple of weeks and has no field or team experience. It should show. The rest of the team (sans Aoko who's ANBU) have all made it to the level where they've been in a chuunin exam before and have at least 2 years experience.

And the general rule of making a character's past:
Have fun, make it interesting, make sure it makes sense, know what a Sue is so you don't fall into it.
This may be a more personal thing but how my characters (especially in NQ) act is based a lot on their past. Their personalities are some what inbuilt, but are changed and morphed by what happened to them. Their past should explain why they are the way they are instead of being shoehorned in. It's about working to make the character deeper which in turn makes this interesting. Rather than picking and choosing irrelevant traits and life events in the hope of making it interesting.
I spoke about this with ewuvi once and she does the opposite. Her characters are driven by their goals and desired future, while mine are driven by their pasts.
You have to find what works for you.

One thing which I know is personal, for God's sake have your know your timeline and be sure it makes sense.
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