Some thoughts on love, emotion, and sentiment

[TeflonBilly]

I've been thinking about some of Harry's expression of emotion/regret/angst during the fic and I've notice a couple of issues that I think should naturally come up in a more substantial form.

It is in regards to his feelings towards Ginny, Ron, and Hermione. And I'm going to use the greek four loves to express some of what I'm getting at, for reference: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greek_words_for_love

Now, Harry's affection for Ginny in his first life was something he never let fade, not in the ten plus years since her death and since as he brought it forward into his next life.

This has been expressed phenomenally in NoFP. The depths of Harry's devotion to Ginny has been never been in doubt in the narrative, and the breadth of his love is clear. Harry loved Ginny, both intimately (Eros) and affectionately (Philia), and then he lost her. This progression of Harry's feelings for Ginny can be seen in canon, Harry only notices Ginny romantically after he first knows her as a friend.

What I feel has been given short shrift has been what Harry's true feelings for Ron and Hermione are. While Harry loved Ginny, Ginny had been dead for more than a decade. Who did Harry spend every waking minute of his life with for more than ten years? Ron and Hermione, and then for the next 2-3 years with just Ron alone.

Ron and Hermione stuck with Harry through almost to the very end, through war and horrors no person should have to suffer. Day in and day out, they were together. The closeness that would have developed between them would almost be impossible to adequately describe in words. And then Harry lost them, both of them. If anything should have driven him to walk through the Veil it was contemplating the years ahead without them by his side, in his life.

The stories of how Ron and Hermione died has been described in NoFP; we have been told the How of their deaths.

What I think has not been adequately explored are the depths of despair that Harry should be feeling when he sees his friends alive, again. I don't think he should be despairing that they are alive, I think he'd be rejoicing this. No, the despair should be coming from the hands that Fate dealt the Ron and Hermione in Harry's previous life.

Ron and Hermione were Harry's family, the first true friends he made in his life, the two people that he was closest to emotionally in his previous life (and I'm including Ginny in this, Harry IMO was never as close to Ginny in his heart of hearts than he was to Ron and Hermione in that life.)

Specifically, the events that should be explored for some serious character introspection on Harry's part:

The last words of Hermione:

Even while mortally wounded, knowing that her last moments on this Earth were seeping away from her, her last words were not to express her love and farewell to her husband, her partner in this life, but for him to take care of Harry. To me, this shows something seriously wrong that Harry would latch onto. Harry as a character takes on more responsibility for other people's actions than he should, but in this case Harry is responsible. That to Hermione, in her last moments, felt that Harry was more important to talk about than Ron, should seriously rankle him. I know it certainly would with me. That Harry was such an issue that he came between Ron and Hermione in their relationship as man and wife should (and I'm sure does) rock him to his core. Harry is a naturally modest person, I think one of things that he would more definitively delineate in this life would be that he should never come between Ron and Hermione, in anything. Now, since Ron and Hermione have not yet crossed the threshold in the story so far of being more than just friends then it naturally hasn't come up. But once that happens, I think that is something that Harry would deliberately try to accomplish this time. I think he would feel guilty that due to everything being associated with him took many things away from Ron and Hermione (though I doubt they would feel that this was Harry's fault.) Such as a big wedding that Hermione all but expressed her longing for when asking Harry about the future, to something that never happened between Ron and Hermione a simple Hogsmeade weekend date. There entire relationship as man and woman was stunted/hampered by the vagaries of being in Harry's sphere. Harry has already started down this road in NoFP by more concretely forcing Hermione and Ron into acknowledging their feelings for each other in a more conscious way than they did the first time. I just think that Harry would continue this course of action into forcing them into being more demonstrative in expressing their social affections such as dating, balls, just doing things together as a couple, etc... (I am absolutely not talking about intimate affections, Harry I'm sure would leave that up to them, though it'd be interesting to know how he dealt with the tight living conditions he suffered under during the war when partnered with a young married couple)

Ron's Last Stand:

Ron layed down his life willingly and deliberately for Harry. He threw himself down on the proverbial grenade, knowing there was no survival. Although it hasn't been mentioned, I'm willing to bet that Ron is the only person to do this since Harry's mother in such a calculated and volitional of an act. This should have significance to Harry. Again, I note that Ron had been by Harry's side in war for more than a solid decade. I've been to war, I've served next to comrades for a year in unfriendly lands. Living in the same place, eating the same food, sleeping in the same place. That affects you, I can't even wrap my mind around going through an infinitely more desperate struggle for more than ten straight years, with just two people by your side supporting you. And then to spend the last two with just two, with the loss of that beloved third hanging over you the entire time. Hermione's death was a fluke, insofar as anything in war can be ascribed to chance, what Ron did was conscious suicide on his part. Harry didn't commit suicide to get to the past, he knew (as far as any person experimenting on themselves can know anything) that he wasn't going to die, Ron knew that this was his last stand, he was not going to live, yet he went on. For Harry.

Basically, what I'm saying is that while I feel that Harry's feelings for Ginny have been excellently described, and should continue, the true depths for his love, both Philia and Agape, for Ron and Hermione has not been fully expressed. In NoFP, Ron and Hermione are not just Harry's best "mates" as they were at the end of the canon novels, they went far beyond, transcended even, what could be expressed in the world that NoFP frames. I feel that this is not coming through quite as well as it could in the narrative.

TB

[viridian]

I think that one of the things Hermione and Ron had in common was both of them trying to take care of Harry... especially after he became a bit unhinged after the Hogwarts massacre. They really were a 'golden trio', and their common friendship with Harry was one of the cornerstones of their own relationship.

If Harry were their child, would it seem so odd that Hermione's last words were asking Ron to look after their child? No, because she is worried what will happen to Harry without her around, and sought reassurance from Ron on that. Is it odd for her to see Harry that way? Maybe, but given how his emotional maturation was essentially frozen, it's not too odd. Especially since Hermione has always tended to be more mature, and saw her role in the trio as being a moderating influence on the other two... and she really is more worried about Harry doing something rash than Ron. (Remember that past!Harry was actively contemplating suicide at one point. Bet past!Hermione picked up on that as well.)

Also, between Ron and Hermione... well, they knew what they were doing was very, very dangerous. They lived each day as if it were their last and they left nothing unsaid between them - a vast difference from their early years of denial. That's why the common-law marriage, rather than waiting 'until the war was over' to get married. I don't see this so much neglecting her relationship with Ron as being totally at peace with it.

Also regarding his reactions to Ron and Hermione. Early on, he had to keep a lid on his feelings to avoid giving too much away. He could allow himself to think more about Ginny because they only communicated through letters at first. Lately, you may notice he seems a bit less tormented by his memories of the alternate timeline. That's intentional and for a reason.