How would you like to be a teacher?

[Fulcon]

Alright, say your a Witch or Wizard in the HP universe, and you've recently accepted the (rumored to be cursed) Defense Against the Dark Arts post at Hogwarts. How would YOU teach Harry, Ron, Hermione and all the rest of the Hogwarts students.

(All I know is that I would be docking points from Slytherin quite often. For no particular reason. And then transferring them to Gryffindor. Often. For no particular reason at all.)

[Chuckg]

Did you say "Defense Against the Dark Arts"?

Time to go into a safer field of work. Like the bomb squad.

[Tempest Kitsune]

Well, I'd probably concentrate on my specialty field in the classroom, which would most likely be some esoteric branch of magic that the British wizarding world dismisses, like Technomancy or Martial Magic. Of course, since I'm American, I'd probably do things that the oh-so-proper British wizards wouldn't dream of doing (like use a cheap Bic and a spiralbound notebook for notes. ) And while I'd be completely impartial, I'd also come down on any trouble-makers like the fist of an angry god (Fred and George would most likely see this as a challenge) both in and out of class, and might even gain a few friends in the younger Slytherin years if I come down hard on bullies from the other houses (don't say that there aren't any, becasue we all know that they probably get picked on even more than any of the other houses combined, just because of the actions of a select few. And the first year muggleborns in the house wouldn't have the damnedest idea why people that were so nice on the train are suddenly spiteful little gits). And I'd be raising complete and utter hell with Snape in the staff room, and probably Dumbledore by extension over his treatment of the student body in general.

[Kitsune no Arashi]

I'd transfer normal class work to the heading of home work and run the class like a dueling accademy. Class work is casting speed, accuracy and technique while homework for each week is learning an new spell for demonstration in class with a written assignments being tactics and stragegy excercises. Being me -I assume you are actually wanting what we would honestly thing to do?-a crazy hyperactive dreamer who will experiment with anything just because it's cool I'd also have an open bonus opertunity for anything related to wandless magic. Demonstrations required.

Spoiler: show

Lilly Evens made picked flowers bloom and wind blow around her in the books while chibi moldyshorts placed compultion spells on animals and fellow orphans BEFORE he knew about the existance of magic. Our ever famous harry potter vanishes glass, shatters furnature, turns on lights, jumps to the top of school buildings, regrows hair after being shaved bald and inflates annoying aunts without wands while 'muggleborn' children are said to have all sorts of other random abilities and dumbledores was even activly practicing wandless magic before the attack that made her unstable. You can't say it's impossible. Saying accidental occurances stop after you begin using a wand is only a half truth but it's much more accurate.

[Fulcon]

I'd transfer normal class work to the heading of home work and run the class like a dueling accademy. Class work is casting speed, accuracy and technique while homework for each week is learning an new spell for demonstration in class with a written assignments being tactics and stragegy excercises. Being me -I assume you are actually wanting what we would honestly thing to do?-a crazy hyperactive dreamer who will experiment with anything just because it's cool I'd also have an open bonus opertunity for anything related to wandless magic. Demonstrations required.

Spoiler: show

Lilly Evens made picked flowers bloom and wind blow around her in the books while chibi moldyshorts placed compultion spells on animals and fellow orphans BEFORE he knew about the existance of magic. Our ever famous harry potter vanishes glass, shatters furnature, turns on lights, jumps to the top of school buildings, regrows hair after being shaved bald and inflates annoying aunts without wands while 'muggleborn' children are said to have all sorts of other random abilities and dumbledores was even activly practicing wandless magic before the attack that made her unstable. You can't say it's impossible. Saying accidental occurances stop after you begin using a wand is only a half truth but it's much more accurate.

[ashez2ashes]

Dumbledore would have to knock me out, kidnap me, and then befundle me severely before I'd become the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor.

I didn't like being a substitute teacher for regular kids, let alone a group of teens who can set me on fire with their minds. If for some reason Dumbledore was able to coerce/blackmail me into it, I'd try to do right by them though. I'd do away with most of the written work for the older years and do a lot more spellwork. I'd like to teach them some magical first aid as well.

[Tempest Kitsune]

So only me and Fulcon are willing to take a crack at teaching the DADA class? Sure it's cursed so that you'd only be there for one year, but if you know about it beforehand you could circumvent any nastiness simply by signing a one-year contract, leaving the curse with no reason to target you. And if during the summer you sign another one-year contract, and then another, and another, and another... well it'd be Voldemort's fault for putting such an obvious loophole into the curse.

[Phht]

Nah, you, Kitsune, and Fulcon should just trade off. You do one year, take the next two years off. Fulcon does that year, then takes the next two years off. Kitsune no Arashi does that year, and takes the next two off. Then start the sequence over once Kitsune's year is done. That way you avoid the issue of the curse possibly seeing through your 1-year contract ploy.

Me, I'm not crazy enough to take up DADA teaching. Maybe Muggle Studies, but not DADA. Over the course of six years, two have died (well, one Kissed but close enough), one had memory loss, two quit, and one killed the Headmaster before fleeing (and promptly fell over dead at the end of the following year). I might change my mind if it was proven that the curse was broken.

[Fulcon]

So only me and Fulcon are willing to take a crack at teaching the DADA class? Sure it's cursed so that you'd only be there for one year, but if you know about it beforehand you could circumvent any nastiness simply by signing a one-year contract, leaving the curse with no reason to target you. And if during the summer you sign another one-year contract, and then another, and another, and another... well it'd be Voldemort's fault for putting such an obvious loophole into the curse.

If I WAS dumb enough to try, I'd stick to teaching everyone how to duel. That was mentioned already, but it fits the idea fairly well. Also, I'd set up random magical creatures at random times during the school year. At the end of the year, I'd have a school wide House vs. House vs. House vs. House capture the flag...the goal is to get one of each house's flag. No holds barred. No boundries and curses are allowed (provided they ain't any of the unforgivable). Each of the teachers supervising and able to see everything despite the dense foliage I'll provide for my arena...

[MrRigger2]

So only me and Fulcon are willing to take a crack at teaching the DADA class? Sure it's cursed so that you'd only be there for one year, but if you know about it beforehand you could circumvent any nastiness simply by signing a one-year contract, leaving the curse with no reason to target you. And if during the summer you sign another one-year contract, and then another, and another, and another... well it'd be Voldemort's fault for putting such an obvious loophole into the curse.

I don't really think it works that way. Moody apparently only signed on for one year, coming out of retirement to do the job, and he was stuffed in a magical trunk for the better part of nine months. And the guy impersonating him had his soul sucked out. The curse is pretty indiscriminate, it seems like to me.

If I were to be placed in it, I would try and make sure the students have a thorough grounding in all the disciplines I could think of. And I think I would actually stay away from dueling and wizard to wizard tactics. While those are things that Harry and his group need, I'm not there to be a private tutor for them. I'm there to be a teacher for the whole school. And the majority of the student body don't need to know how to take down fully grown wizards when they're thirteen. I think my lesson plans would shape up more along these lines.

First years: Thorough grounding in the basics. More emphasis on theory at this point due to weak magical power and irresponsible students.

Second years: More theory. Start to move into more regular spellcasting, but grind it into the students head's that this is dangerous stuff, and only to be used when there's actual danger, not to be used whenever they feel like it. Basic Dark Creature knowledge.

Third years: More advanced Dark Creature study. Move into jinxes and hexes, no curses.

Fourth years: Start curses. Focus on prevention and countering, defensive spellcasting.

Fifth years: OWL year. Review everything taught so far, start wizard to wizard tactics.

Sixth years: Dueling and Advanced Dark Creature study. Silent casting.

Seventh years: NEWT year. Advanced defensive spells, Advanced offensive spells. Use of Transfiguration/Animation as a defense and offense.

As shown above, I'd stay away from putting students against each other until at least third year. Before that, students aren't necessarily responsible enough for learning spells to be cast against other wizards. I'll cite Philosopher's Stone, where Draco challenges Harry to a duel and Harry accepts without hardly thinking. There's no way I'm teaching impulsive and stupid kids like that anything but responsibility and the fact that a wand is in fact a deadly weapon and should be treated as such. I wouldn't consistently have students facing off against each other until Fifth year at the earliest, and even then I'd keep a tight rein on things.

Also, Tempest Kitsune, I don't think the ideas of Technomacy or Martial Magic would work. For one, you're looking at impulsive, hormonal teenagers with little sense of responsibility. I doubt half of them would have the discipline necessary to learn such subjects, and there's something else. You're supposed to be teaching these kids what they need to learn to pass the OWL and later the NEWT. Granted, we don't really know what's involved in the NEWT test, but for the OWL, there was absolutely no mention of putting students against each other. There was a lot more focus on creatures from what I remember. If the students can't learn the material to pass the OWL, that's their problem, but if you never teach it to them, that falls on you.

MrRigger

[Tempest Kitsune]

Good points all, and you just helped plug a potential plothole that was heretofore unnoticed in "The Power of Diplomacy". Thanks !

[Kitsune_Akatsuki]

I wouldn't make that good of a DADA Teacher.... Well, maybe I would. I'd probably be very scattered minded at times, although any rude behaviour from any house would result in unpleasent consequences. Pranks I would allow as long as no students or staff members were injured. I'd also learn Occulemency, as soon as possible. I'd probably encourage a good deal of independent studies as well as covering as much as possible in every single class. I'd literally be a teacher who uses every second of class. (I'm going to go with being a teacher in either the First or Second war.) Oh, and of course, don't forget the color coded notes, bolding and vocabulary. I'd be either loved or hated by each individual.

First Years: Theory, beggining Tactics for Homework, encouraging independent studies, if enough ground is covered, begin studying spells and proper situations to use them in.

Second: Start Defensive spell studies, cover more Tactics in class and Homework,
begin teaching the basis in multiple participant duels, allow to join a dueling society

Third: Teach the Rules of Engagement, begin teaching Occulemency, more advance Tactics, reach middle and middle high ranking Defensive spells, begin learning THEORY behind offensive spells

Fourth: Teach low and mid ranking offensive spells(with many threats as to what punishments improper use will cause), Teach more tactics particuraly group encounter tactics, assert the usefullness of Potions, Charms, and Transfiguration.

Fifth: Begin duelling practice, begin teachin Medical spells and the study of Muggle first aid, set up group competions on every other Friday, encourage independent Muggle Studies.

Sixth: Review Material, Cover as much new material as possible, heap on the review style homework

Seventh: Mid-High level offensive spells, alot of reviewing, covering Strategy, and the use of guerilla and air combat.

[AntiNaba]

Sex ed. That is all.

Edit: I have been warned, and while I accept that I was at fault, I may as well explain my reasoning. While not intended to be taken seriously, I did notice that in the Harry Potter verse, there appears to be little to no sexual education in the faculty of Hogwarts. Seeing as the people entering are entering puberty and the castle contains very many closets, haunted places and such, a serious issue of teen pregnancy would most likely have arisen, perhaps on an annual basis.

That said, I did not actually have a perverted mindset for that line. I just thought it would be interesting as to how to incorporate real-world mundanities and human puberty into the magical world of Harry Potter. I again apologize for the inconvenience I may have caused and the warping of the minds of all pre-teens who have never possessed cable or the internet. ;)

[bibliophile20]

AntiNaba, you have an official warning for inappropriate content. Your post contributed nothing to the ongoing discussion and was highly inappropriate in content. Further warnings will result in disciplinary action.

[Psalm Of Fire]

I again apologize for the inconvenience I may have caused and the warping of the minds of all pre-teens who have never possessed cable or the internet. ;)

*stares flatly*

*sighs and rubs eyebrow* You make a lot of assumptions there. I thank the mods for continuing to support the policies put in place, *nods to Bibliophile*.

I just thought it would be interesting as to how to incorporate real-world mundanities and human puberty into the magical world of Harry Potter.

That is a pretty interesting "what if". Interesting thought there AntiNaba.

[AntiNaba]

I was also considering home Economics, but seeing as the spells that Molly Weasley uses around the house look pretty simple, I guess only a year would be needed at best.

[MorphCross]

Perhaps the Weasley's should volunteer Fred and George for the Home Ec. class as a method of really testing the students proficiency with hearth spells while operating under duress.

Wow :? I just gained a new respect for Molly Weasley and everything she had to put up with.

[Ironwolf]

Just remember, the twins were the only double-team of the family, save for Percy, the rest of the lot were almost as big of trouble makers at the least.

[ashez2ashes]

Considering the advanced state of the medical care, I wonder how much sex ed they'd really need in the wizarding world. They most likely have a 99.999999% proof birth control potion and can probably cure all stds. The birth control potion would have been one of the first things witches/wizards perfected. A one day overview would probably be sufficient.

Although there are random weird gaps in their medical knowledge, like baldness and eye care.

[AntiNaba]

Considering the advanced state of the medical care, I wonder how much sex ed they'd really need in the wizarding world. They most likely have a 99.999999% proof birth control potion and can probably cure all stds. The birth control potion would have been one of the first things witches/wizards perfected. A one day overview would probably be sufficient.

Although there are random weird gaps in their medical knowledge, like baldness and eye care.

Would they still have the ethical issues of abortion, though? Especially as there is proof of a tangible soul in humans in that 'verse.

[Wittgen]

Just because humans have souls doesn't mean fetuses do. If the wizards could determine if/when an unborn child got their soul, it could clear up a lot of the issues.

But let's not talk about abortion. That way lies broken hearts and lots of angry, pointless fighting.

On topic, if I was roped into being the defense teacher, I would spend as much time as possible locked in my foe glass lined living quarters. Truly, discretion is the better part of valor.

[viridian]

I'd change the name of the class to "Duelling 101". What DADA curse?

If technicalities can work for prophecies and magically binding contracts, they can work for curses.

[MorphCross]

Or you scrap defense against the dark arts, mothball the office and the position, and then you start up Dueling 101. Remove any and all connection to a DADA class.

[MrRigger2]

Or you scrap defense against the dark arts, mothball the office and the position, and then you start up Dueling 101. Remove any and all connection to a DADA class.

You couldn't do that. Now correct me if I'm wrong, but Dueling 101 strikes me as being two people, facing off against each other, with proper bows and everyone following the rules. And even if you broaden that to include all wizard versus wizard conflict, you've forgotten a major portion of the DADA class. Protecting yourself against Dark Creatures. Fighting a Red Cap, grindylow or boggart isn't Dueling, it's Defense.

Before anyone mentions moving Dark Creature defense to Care of Magical Creatures, remember that Hagrid teaches that, and before that it was Kettleburn, who retired to enjoy use of his remaining limbs. Hagrid's not a qualified wizard, so I wouldn't want him teaching me defense, and Kettleburn apparently lost at least one limb so horribly it couldn't be reattached (or I'm assuming, given a prosthetic), and if that's the case, I don't want him teaching me how to defend myself either.

So you can't really get rid of the Defense class because of that, but you also have to take into account that wizard versus wizard fights were important in the books, that's also because they were fighting a war. If it was a peaceful time, I doubt as much emphasis was placed on combat. So while Dueling 101 seems like a good idea, I'm seeing it as giving up too much for too little gain.

MrRigger

[Chuckg]

Considering the advanced state of the medical care, I wonder how much sex ed they'd really need in the wizarding world. They most likely have a 99.999999% proof birth control potion and can probably cure all stds. The birth control potion would have been one of the first things witches/wizards perfected. A one day overview would probably be sufficient.

They quite likely have a birth control charm. I wouldn't be surprised if it was it taught in third-year Charms.