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 Chapter 23... 
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Unread post Chapter 23...
...is in progress. The title might be "Training Montage".


March 3rd, 2015, 3:14 pm
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Unread post Re: Chapter 23...
Can we get a WOOT WOOT? :ninja:

:yuush:

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March 4th, 2015, 9:30 pm
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Unread post Re: Chapter 23...
Secret Celebration Style: Fireworks of Revelry Technique!

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March 4th, 2015, 9:46 pm
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Unread post Re: Chapter 23...
It's live now!


March 6th, 2015, 11:13 pm
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Unread post Re: Chapter 23...
I just read it. I was reading something else when I got the email and I immediately stopped to read this. As I said in my review, this chapter was absolutely amazing and I love it so much.

But again, your use of Japanese needs a lot of work. There are a lot of problems with it all throughout this story (for starters, everyone is way too impolite and you once used "good morning" when the narration said it was midday or later).


March 6th, 2015, 11:16 pm
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Unread post Re: Chapter 23...
I have gotten so much conflicting advice regarding Japanese that I am pretty much dropping them anymore.

Sensei, sempai, kouhai - I know how those work from the JKA.


March 7th, 2015, 1:25 am
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Unread post Re: Chapter 23...
A lot of people simply don't know what they're talking about. Allow to help you with the backing of a completely reliable (In my experience and that's not everything I've translated) dictionary.

Kohei is a Japanese word meaning "veteran". Kouhai (and that extra U is important but it can also be spelled as kōhai) is the word that means "underclassman".

Your use of "sensei" is perfectly acceptable (and also extremely appropriate when Naruto addressed Jiraiya with it).

Your use of "ano" is questionable at times. For the record, it's a placeholder noise used to pause for thought. It's equivalent to "Um..." or noises of similar weight in English.

I could go through every single use of Japanese, if you want, but I highly doubt I need to.

Also, technically the word for upperclassman is spelled "senpai" as that matches the hiragana- which is 「せんぱい」- closer but "sempai" is perfectly acceptable.


March 7th, 2015, 1:40 am
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Unread post Re: Chapter 23...
Great chapter.

Couple things, though: first, have you read the Neji Quest I ran over on Spacebattles? Guy has the same turtle summons here as in my quest, though in mine, the four are Sages, and the Friend to All Children is the boss turtle.

Second, it would be better if you swapped Squirtle's name to Zenigame (it's the Japanese name, y'all), and would be a nice reference if someone searched for it instead of willy-nilly references everywhere.

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March 7th, 2015, 11:08 am
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Unread post Re: Chapter 23...
Okay, I read it and posted my review. Now I'm just waiting for the discussion thread to show up... :biggrin:

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March 7th, 2015, 2:21 pm
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Unread post Re: Chapter 23...
Nitramy wrote:
Great chapter.

Couple things, though: first, have you read the Neji Quest I ran over on Spacebattles? Guy has the same turtle summons here as in my quest, though in mine, the four are Sages, and the Friend to All Children is the boss turtle.

Second, it would be better if you swapped Squirtle's name to Zenigame (it's the Japanese name, y'all), and would be a nice reference if someone searched for it instead of willy-nilly references everywhere.


Er, actually I haven't. I'm sort of hit or miss on SB... some of the fanfic threads are good, but the community is a bit fractious at times. (I've seen some crazy flame wars over there in the past.) I tend to just visit links I am sent or see on Skype chat.

Gamera was always on the plan as the Turtle Boss. Blame my childhood watching monster movies every Saturday afternoon...

And I don't really know Pokémon that well... I figure more people will get the English versions.


March 7th, 2015, 3:43 pm
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Unread post Re: Chapter 23...
Wraith5 wrote:
Okay, I read it and posted my review. Now I'm just waiting for the discussion thread to show up... :biggrin:


Hmmm... do we really need two threads?


March 7th, 2015, 3:45 pm
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Unread post Re: Chapter 23...
While we're on the subject, is the Old One from something? I could have sworn I've seen him from somewhere in my childhood but I can't remember.

Also, inb4 The Four are the Teenaged Mutant Ninja Turtles.


March 7th, 2015, 4:02 pm
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Unread post Re: Chapter 23...
Clothahump is from the "Spellsinger" series, and is a wizard, thus him referring to techniques as "spells". He's supposed to be the most powerful wizard on the planet in his home series as well.

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March 7th, 2015, 6:27 pm
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Unread post Re: Chapter 23...
Oh. I must have been thinking of something else, then.


March 7th, 2015, 6:58 pm
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Unread post Re: Chapter 23...
Zelenal wrote:
Also, inb4 The Four are the Teenaged Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Does that mean Jiraiya can summon Attila, Genghis, Napoleon, and Rasputin?


March 14th, 2015, 6:51 pm
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Unread post Re: Chapter 23...
Well, I had a few thoughts while re-reading the fic:
  • Back in Chapter 6 (Journey to the Borderlands), after Naruto makes the tree explode, Shino comments about how it would be great if he could avoid injuring himself in the process. Is Naruto eventually going to have shadow clones go suicide bomber with exploding trees?
  • Was the "an alcoholic couldn't become Hokage" line in Chapter 10 (Complex Confrontations) an intentional reference to Tsunade? (If it was, either I'm not as attentive as I think I am or that was pretty well hidden!)
  • Is there going to be another encounter between Naruto and Gaara before then next exam? I mean, Naruto and Jiraiya are in Wind Country, and I just remembered (about 20 minutes after posting my review) that includes Suna (*derp*).
  • In Chapter 12 (Stress Testing), is there going to be a reference to a mission #2579-a? I mean, since Kurenai's team was on -b, I'm guessing there's another mission related to it. Or am I just reading too much into it?
(I'll try to post other things if I spot anything else.)

Oh, I also forgot. Is Misato's teasing about a girlfriend foreshadowing? That might be... interesting... (There's probably a better word to use, I just don't know what it would be.)
And I'm 95% (+/- 5% XD) certain The Four are the TMNT. I mean, all of them have an "L" in their full names. And Japanese doesn't use that sound. (IIRC, it's something like that... don't quote me on this.)

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"Sometimes I stop to think and forget to start again." - t-shirt
"I don't understand, but I disagree." - my older sister misquoting my younger brother ("I understand, but...")
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March 14th, 2015, 8:23 pm
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Unread post Re: Chapter 23...
Wraith5 wrote:
And I'm 95% (+/- 5% XD) certain The Four are the TMNT. I mean, all of them have an "L" in their full names. And Japanese doesn't use that sound. (IIRC, it's something like that... don't quote me on this.)


You're both right and wrong. Japanese doesn't have the L sound their R sound, when pronounced properly, sounds a tad bit like it (at least, it sounds different enough from the English R that most people pronouncing Naruto's name are likely pronouncing it incorrectly. It's closer to the Spanish R). An English speaker can clearly hear the difference but it's not as large as media tends to make it out to be.

Also, your logic makes no sense. If I read it right, your reasoning is thus:
  • Every member of the TMNT has an L in their name.
  • Japanese doesn't have an L sound.
  • Therefore The Four are going to be the TMNT.


March 14th, 2015, 8:37 pm
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Unread post Re: Chapter 23...
Sort of. Also, unless circumstances REALLY force it, Mikey, Raph, Don, and Leo never voluntarily split up. They're also the only matched set of four turtles I know of. (Also, they're the only matched set of four turtles I know that all have an 'L' in each name.) I might be basing my argument on the wrong things (at least partially), but all that just helps convince me that it's they're the TMNT...

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"Boss, why is it that you always say 'I've got a plan' like a terrorist says 'I've got a bomb'?" - Garrus Vakarian in Razor's Edge: Requiem (a Mass Effect fan-fic)
"Sometimes I stop to think and forget to start again." - t-shirt
"I don't understand, but I disagree." - my older sister misquoting my younger brother ("I understand, but...")
"Come to the Darkside; We have bacon." - t-shirt


March 14th, 2015, 9:56 pm
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Unread post Re: Chapter 23...
"They all have an L in their names" just isn't a good argument, though. It makes no sense. Clothahump has an L in his name and the only thing mentioned about the names of The Four is that they're occidental (Western) and hard to pronounce. While most of their names would be a bit difficult to pronounce in Japanese (although Donatello would be pretty easy), so too would Clothahump (which gets turned into something like Kurosahanpu).


March 14th, 2015, 10:14 pm
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Unread post Re: Chapter 23...
Well, that argument/idea was what initially started to me on the whole "The Four are the TMNT" line. The whole thing that really cemented me on that argument were the parts about how 'they will allow themselves to be separated' and that they're occidental.

I'm probably doing a pretty bad job of trying to explain this... (And not for lack of trying!!! I'm trying to do this while packing to head back to college at the end of spring break... TT.TT)

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"Boss, why is it that you always say 'I've got a plan' like a terrorist says 'I've got a bomb'?" - Garrus Vakarian in Razor's Edge: Requiem (a Mass Effect fan-fic)
"Sometimes I stop to think and forget to start again." - t-shirt
"I don't understand, but I disagree." - my older sister misquoting my younger brother ("I understand, but...")
"Come to the Darkside; We have bacon." - t-shirt


March 14th, 2015, 10:46 pm
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Unread post Re: Chapter 23...
Note specifically how Clothahump said it though. that they all have strange occidental names. As opposed to the non-sense name Clothahump has, or the Japanese names all the other turtles seem to have (with the exception of Squirtle).

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"Doesn't matter what the press says. Doesn't matter what the politicians or the mobs say. Doesn't matter if the whole country decides that something wrong is something right. This nation was founded on one principle above all else: the requirement that we stand up for what we believe, no matter the odds or the consequences. When the mob and the press and the whole world tell you to move, your job is to plant yourself like a tree beside the river of truth, and tell the whole world — "No, you move."
— Captain America

Naruto RP Character - Takuma Itsuki, Special Jounin


March 14th, 2015, 11:58 pm
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Unread post Re: Chapter 23...
I'm not saying that The Four aren't likely to be the TMNT- I'm the first person in this thread to suggest as much after all- it's just that Wraith's initial logic as to why that would be so is nonsensical.

Also, this is truly a wonderful way to introduce myself to the boards. I bet I'm making loads of friends.

仕方がない。


March 15th, 2015, 12:19 am
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Unread post Re: Chapter 23...
Zelenal wrote:
I'm not saying that The Four aren't likely to be the TMNT- I'm the first person in this thread to suggest as much after all- it's just that Wraith's initial logic as to why that would be so is nonsensical.

Ehh... I think I'd need blinkers, maybe even a blindfold, to see it that way. It seems obvious he's taking all the other arguments as given (including the years-old, 'Oh, I bet the TMNT are on/are the communal boss of/etc' speculation) and just picking out the elements of the chapter that felt like confirmation.


March 15th, 2015, 1:08 am
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Unread post Re: Chapter 23...
Except that nowhere in the chapter does it say that their names all contain Ls. Clothahump just said that their names of occidental and are hard to pronounce. Given how many instances there are in Japanese media of giving names that contain an L to their characters, that does not immediately qualify it (especially since, given the way Japanese works, no name is inherently hard to pronounce so long as they're provided katakana). To give an example, "Alice" is a reasonably common name in Japan where it's spelled "Arisu" (and the pronunciation is very similar).

There are plenty of logical arguments for The Four being the TMNT- I'd be incredibly surprised if they weren't- but "All of their names contain an L" isn't one of them.


March 15th, 2015, 1:25 am
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Unread post Re: Chapter 23...
Zelenal wrote:
"They all have an L in their names" just isn't a good argument, though. It makes no sense. Clothahump has an L in his name and the only thing mentioned about the names of The Four is that they're occidental (Western) and hard to pronounce. While most of their names would be a bit difficult to pronounce in Japanese (although Donatello would be pretty easy), so too would Clothahump (which gets turned into something like Kurosahanpu).


You'll note in the chapter that Clothahump introduces himself with that name. The other turtles call him "Old One".

Chapter 23 wrote:
“Is that why they call them The Four?” Naruto asked.

“Yes. Well, and they have occidental names that are ridiculous and difficult to pronounce,” Clothahump admitted. He frowned. “I wonder if that’s why they call me… nevermind. Yes, continue working on your energy. I think the current Chief Summoner chose wisely when he selected you as his successor, but it will still require much effort to realize your full potential. In the meantime, I will teach you the beginnings of turtle magic…”


Note the tangential realization...


March 15th, 2015, 11:39 am
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