Chapter 24 on the works

Re: Chapter 24 on the works

Unread postby Zelenal » April 28th, 2015, 12:30 pm

I don't think anyone could summon an Arrancar without employing Power Creep, Power Seep. Even going solely by speed, Naruto doesn't reach anywhere close to Bleach levels until late Shippuden. Summoning the 3rd Espada would basically be checkmate. She'd just have to use Sonído and turn everyone into confetti (I don't think Body Flicker can be used offensively).

Now Viral, on the other hand, would be brilliant. He'd be utterly worthless regardless from where in the anime he was summoned (either due to being completely outclassed in nearly all of Part 1 or being a good guy during Part 2) but he'd be cool.
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Re: Chapter 24 on the works

Unread postby JGoddess » April 29th, 2015, 8:25 pm

Since this seems to be the "official" discussion thread...

Loved this chapter so much! :in_love: Specially Shino's observations and points of view had me snickering and covering my face with glee at several moments (like Tenten thumping her forehead against his arm, jejeje). I do seem to notice a not-so-conscious effort that he makes to keep his clinical and critical eye in everything, but the blossoms of attraction are definitely there, so it is very satisfying.

One particular part that had me laughing though I couldn’t understand why, was a bit in his conversation with Naruto about Hinata:
“Like?” Shino asked. “What is not to like? She is a skilled kunoichi with an extremely pleasant demeanor. Her training in medical ninjutsu will make her an extremely valuable comrade to have.”
I could almost hear his babbling. I am curious, how did Shino feel about Naruto’s sudden realization. It has already been stablished that he is not into “fruitless pursuits” as he calls them, meaning he is not jealous and trying to not sound like it. Was he deliberately playing dumb so he could be clear about Naruto’s exact revelation? Was he worried about the probable shift in their dynamics should the revelation have a bad outcome? I would like to know oh Autholord!

Also I love Shino’s interactions with his parents, I wish there was place in the future for an omake in the Aburame household, Shibi and Misato’s relationship seems to be very healthy and I wonder exactly what were their reactions that had Shino thinking about “maternal fertility schedules”, since I only understood that Misato was doing everything in her power to keep Shino interacting with his one other female regular acquaintance that isn’t romantically compromised.

Loved, loved so many things about this, let’s see… I am sure that Team 10 will be relieved once they learn that Asuma has decided not to nominate them for the Chunnin exam, and although I am sure Shikamaru in particular will be pleased to avoid troublesome situations I wonder if he’ll spare a small thought of regret on not seeing a certain Sand kunoichi (doubtful since at this point in the story little interaction has occurred, still, one can only hope).

I too am troubled with Hinata’s last thoughts, she’s come very far but still her self-doubts and low sense of self-worth seem to weight too heavily, I dunno if she’ll ever return to the Hyuga compound but I really want to see how much she’s changed (even if she doesn’t notice herself) through the eyes of young Hanabi, who also seems damaged (if only in a different kind of way).
I apologize in advance for my poor English
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Re: Chapter 24 on the works

Unread postby Zelenal » April 29th, 2015, 8:41 pm

Shino is likely well aware of the ramifications Naruto and Hinata's relationship would have on their team dynamic should it fail. He is also likely aware of the benefits such a relationship could add (which... honestly isn't that much). As for your other question, Shino was likely trying to make Naruto clearly state his feelings since he likely knew what Naruto meant. Alternatively, it could just be Shino being pedantic and focusing on literal definitions over common use but, even if he was like that a bit earlier in the story, I think he's mostly grown past it.
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Re: Chapter 24 on the works

Unread postby JGoddess » April 29th, 2015, 10:25 pm

Shino is likely well aware of the ramifications Naruto and Hinata's relationship would have on their team dynamic should it fail. He is also likely aware of the benefits such a relationship could add (which... honestly isn't that much). As for your other question, Shino was likely trying to make Naruto clearly state his feelings since he likely knew what Naruto meant. Alternatively, it could just be Shino being pedantic and focusing on literal definitions over common use but, even if he was like that a bit earlier in the story, I think he's mostly grown past it.
I think Shino is aware of all of that, however I don't think he's aware of how protective he's grown of his team mates, specially Hinata, re-reading the scene I think perhaps Shino was worried about the change of the team dynamic, not because it would be "troublesome", but because he genuinelly cares about his team mates welfare. I was wondering because he spoke of tension he hadn't noticed... I don't think either that Shino at this point is being pedantic...
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Re: Chapter 24 on the works

Unread postby viridian » April 30th, 2015, 7:42 am

The little Shino inside my head frequently has conflicting feelings. But from a truly utilitarian standpoint, this development, properly managed, will maximize the happiness of both of his comrades, and as such is a desirable outcome.

I think... if this were an AU where Naruto was not in the picture, Shino would have probably grown closer to her. Whether that would morph into brotherly feelings or eventual romantic interest is questionable. Her self-image issues would have drawn his attention either way - because they are irrational. He would, of course, make every possible effort to realign her self-image and sense of her own worth, in order to make them more congruent with reality.

Because it would bug the crap out of him. Quite literally.

I was sort of hanging a lampshade on Shino reading so much into Shibi's minute changes in facial expression. It's been previously joked about how reserved and stoic Aburame are, so that tiny wince by Shibi is like an expression of utter horror to Shino...

Misato probably just donned the smirk she used in the past when discussing the need for "mommy-daddy time" with little Shino. I'm sure Shino could teach Ibiki a few things by this point (about the inflicting of mental trauma...)

And yes, Shino is very protective of his teammates. He is fully aware of some of the nasty political/social undercurrents in the village, and he's the only one on the team really well set up to deal with them. He's also willingly undergoing 'the Gai-sensei treatment' so he can keep up with them. If that ain't true (sibling) love, I don't know what is...
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Re: Chapter 24 on the works

Unread postby Zelenal » April 30th, 2015, 9:10 am

True. I don't think I'd inflict Gai-sensei on my worst enemies.
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Re: Chapter 24 on the works

Unread postby JGoddess » April 30th, 2015, 8:42 pm

The little Shino inside my head frequently has conflicting feelings. But from a truly utilitarian standpoint, this development, properly managed, will maximize the happiness of both of his comrades, and as such is a desirable outcome…
…Because it would bug the crap out of him. Quite literally.
I love that even if the events of the AU have led to a bit of change in personality in the characters (most noticeable in Naruto), they remain truly in the spirit of the original characters Kishimoto presented us, only with a much rich development.
I was sort of hanging a lampshade on Shino reading so much into Shibi's minute changes in facial expression. It's been previously joked about how reserved and stoic Aburame are, so that tiny wince by Shibi is like an expression of utter horror to Shino...
Misato probably just donned the smirk she used in the past when discussing the need for "mommy-daddy time" with little Shino. I'm sure Shino could teach Ibiki a few things by this point (about the inflicting of mental trauma...) ...
I actually had to google “hanging a lampshade” and thus lost a good 10 hours in tvtropes…
And yes, Shino is very protective of his teammates. He is fully aware of some of the nasty political/social undercurrents in the village, and he's the only one on the team really well set up to deal with them. He's also willingly undergoing 'the Gai-sensei treatment' so he can keep up with them. If that ain't true (sibling) love, I don't know what is...
But is he aware of how protective he is? I’ve wondered after re-reading the fic for the 11th time, during Kurenai’s funeral, Hinata going to comfort Naruto was expected (and very brave with her father present), but Shino’s presence in the hug was all the more amazing because the whole Aburame’s stance on public displays of affection (a big no no I think). I am sure that Misato approved and while Shibi doesn’t seem to frown on them when the occasion makes it necessary and more after knowing the truth about the circumstances surrounding Naruto’s life, did he expect his son to comfort his teammate as well? I doubt the rest of the Aburame clan expressed disapproval, even among themselves, but still, I was always curious about Shino’s thoughts, because while his anger and discomfort were palpable (and audible from the sound of his hives), at that moment clearly he wasn’t thinking about himself.

BTW, how much time has passed since they graduated from the Academy? How old are they now? 13?

Thanks again for sharing this wonderful work!
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Re: Chapter 24 on the works

Unread postby viridian » May 1st, 2015, 12:52 am

They're all 13-14 now. I think Shino is aware... see his little monologue:
Naruto was still adjusting his wrist weights when he made his way back to the examinee’s balcony.

“Did you fulfill all your stated objectives?” Shino asked, turning toward him.

Naruto nodded. “Pretty much.”

“It was difficult to ascertain at long distance,” Shino observed, “but the damage appeared extensive.”

Naruto shrugged. “I did what I set out to do.”

Shikamaru glanced back and forth between the two of them. “You’re not up to something troublesome, are you?” he finally asked in a disgusted voice.

“We are establishing a precedent regarding acceptable behavior towards allies and team members,” Shino announced. “To that end, we propose to demonstrate a willingness to use any and all means to obtain an equitable response, ranging from coercion, influence, and tactical intelligence, to, as needed, extreme levels of physical violence.”

Shikamaru rolled his eyes and sighed.

“How would you feel if someone hurt Ino and put her in the hospital for three weeks?” Naruto demanded, frowning.

“Relieved,” Shikamaru said, but then let out a grunt when Chouji elbowed him. “Okay, that would be troublesome too. But he’s her cousin. Do you think the Hyuugas are going to like you messing around in their clan’s politics?”

Naruto’s eyes narrowed as he regarded the lazy Nara. Despite his demeanor, his classmate was smarter than he normally acted. He probably didn’t want his teachers to expect more out of him.

“That is precisely the point,” Shino replied. “If we are willing to do that to her cousin, a member of a powerful and highly respected clan with a superior blood-line, then what will we do to someone else?”

“Better if your teammate wasn’t so weak she needed you two to protect her,” the blond girl from Suna spat in a disgusted tone. Her expression suggested that she tasted something foul.

“She’s not weak,” Naruto snapped, clenching his fists. Even an echo of Neji’s words still had the power to enrage him. “She’s been told that all her life and it’s nothing but bullshit!” He made himself relax when Shino put a hand on his shoulder. The gesture from his normally reserved teammate was like a bucket of cold water on his anger.

“It’s not weakness that kept Hyuuga Hinata on her feet with a collapsed lung and lacerations of the left ventricle,” Shino stated. “It’s not weakness that made her keep getting up to fight an opponent that knew every move of her fighting style and whom she had no real expectation of defeating. I believe the appropriate descriptor is… determination.”

Naruto was vaguely aware that Shikamaru and Chouji were openly staring at Shino. Maybe they didn’t know how badly Hinata had been injured, or maybe it was the undertone of anger in the usually emotionless Aburame’s voice. In any event, the coldly analytical burst of killing intent made the Suna girl take a step back even as the face-painted guy stepped forward.
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Re: Chapter 24 on the works

Unread postby Greatlimmick » May 7th, 2015, 4:06 pm

I'm looking forward to the next chapter just to see how Hinata reacts once everything's settled in.

And how Jiraiya reacts once he learns of it.
Personally, I'm worried about how Hiashi will react to the news that Hinata and Naruto are dating. I can't imagine he won't find out, and I can't imagine he'll react well when he does.
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Re: Chapter 24 on the works

Unread postby Dechstreme » May 11th, 2015, 11:22 am

Personally, I'm worried about how Hiashi will react to the news that Hinata and Naruto are dating. I can't imagine he won't find out, and I can't imagine he'll react well when he does.
That's not something to worry about just yet. I don't think they are going to go around and just tell Hiashi they are dating. That and with them being nominated to the next chuunin exams, that means more time that Hinata won't be with her family. Will he find out? Eventually, yeah. But that won't be for some time now. I hope.
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Re: Chapter 24 on the works

Unread postby Wraith5 » May 11th, 2015, 3:04 pm

I can't wait until Tsunade slaps Hiashi in the face with Hinata's progress. Sure, I'm anxious about/worried about/looking forward to his reaction on their relationship, but the other one has been a LOOOONG time coming.

As far as Jiraiya's response, I don't think I'll be overly surprised, nor will he. Maybe caught slightly off-guard that it happened so soon, but not about it actually happening.
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Re: Chapter 24 on the works

Unread postby rbear1231 » November 6th, 2015, 4:00 am

was it to soon maybe naruhin.....my pick of picks.....

My lord :bow are u ending or removing the ship of Shika/temari? (i hope not thats my number two fav ship)

please please please i cant wait till the hokage tells, in open public tons of witnesses, how well hinata did.

remeber for it to truely hurt him it has to be public with tons of witnesses so he cant deny or refuse the truth.....or u can do us all a favor and kill hiashi for us slow painful at the hands of a drop out or homeless bum..


i don't just put salt in an open wound, i try to pour an entire salt factory into a paper cut.
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Re: Chapter 24 on the works

Unread postby JediMasterDraco » January 28th, 2016, 6:52 pm

You know, if Hinata makes it to Chuunin in the upcoming exam, Hiashi will be eating some major crow. The so-called Hyuuga failure only a little over a year out of the academy making chuunin on only her second attempt through the exam (with her first attempt being only a few months after graduation). It would likely cause some interesting repercussions for the clan's reputation if the girl their training methods deemed a failure was to have this massive success after a rather short period with her jonin and then acting as a "servant" for six months while their "genius" got beaten like a drum by "Dead-Last" (no insult meant to Neji, of course). Something to think about.
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