Naruto Summons: The Poll

[Calinero]

Heh...I'm picturing whole squads of ninjas armed with salt now. Perfect for slugs and warding out Supernatural style baddies!

[Phht]

In which case, Naruto needs a contract with a troll-like summon race that's only weak to milk.

[MrRigger2]

No, Naruto gets a contract for Trolls from D&D, which sets up the first ANBU heart attack when they see that their Katon Jutsu actually work against something.

MrRigger

[Greybane]

Wait wait wait, that means a Katon jutsu would be directly responsible for someones death!

[doc.exe]

What part of "you can bend or even break canon rules in a fanfic" you forgot my friends?

[Greybane]

There is willing suspension of disbelief, and then there is that.

[doc.exe]

OK, then how about this: The fire attack of the trolls is not a jutsu or chakra imbued. Just old combustion produced naturally inside their bodies.

Does that work better?

[SLAMU]

One of these days, I'm going to wirte a fic where fire actually does something. I'm even going to go into all the gory details, like fat boiling off and eyes melting and searing lungs, stuff like that. And then people will flame me, calling it unrealistic, and I will point at them and laugh, gesturing to 500+ years of historical and medical documentation detailing what all actually happens when someone is rosted alive. (Hint; it isn't "oh dear, some soot on my nose and light damage to my favorite shirt!")

Anyway, how about a geek summon? Need help hacking into the enemy's security systems, but no one is tech-savvy enough to handle it? Blood, chakra, poof! A ninety-pound 20-something with glasses that smells of doritoes and mountain dew, wearing flip-flops and a dirty polo shirt. Heck, either pay him with Xena tapes or get Hinata to talk nice to him (shouldn't be hard to do, nice is kinda her default setting, right?) and he'll go after the job with gusto to rival Othar Tryggvassen Rock Lee and Maito Gai.

[gman391]

You know I'd settle for just having elemental jutsu actually work against the main characters.
Anyways I think I mentioned this a few pages back. Owl's because I like'em I nicked the idea for my own story. But I need a personality type for them. I'm thinking something along the lines of Vikings for the crack factor but it's not set yet. Any ideas?

[Tempest Kitsune]

How about stealth freaks? Like real ninja, with a Lord and everything? I mean, they're pretty much the embodiment of the whole "silent killer" role in nature, so having them be super-serious as well would go hand-in-talon.

[gman391]

Does fit with the story....so yeah that could work thanks.

[Darkandus]

One of these days, I'm going to wirte a fic where fire actually does something. I'm even going to go into all the gory details, like fat boiling off and eyes melting and searing lungs, stuff like that. And then people will flame me, calling it unrealistic, and I will point at them and laugh, gesturing to 500+ years of historical and medical documentation detailing what all actually happens when someone is rosted alive. (Hint; it isn't "oh dear, some soot on my nose and light damage to my favorite shirt!")

You think fire effects are unrealistic in Anime and manga? Try Explosions.

Protip:Jumping away from the fireball made by the explosion isn't going to stop the shockwave from liquifying your insides.

[MrRigger2]

Anyway, how about a geek summon? Need help hacking into the enemy's security systems, but no one is tech-savvy enough to handle it? Blood, chakra, poof! A ninety-pound 20-something with glasses that smells of doritoes and mountain dew, wearing flip-flops and a dirty polo shirt. Heck, either pay him with Xena tapes or get Hinata to talk nice to him (shouldn't be hard to do, nice is kinda her default setting, right?) and he'll go after the job with gusto to rival Othar Tryggvassen Rock Lee and Maito Gai.

It's been done. Kinda. http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Erfworld

MrRigger

[SquirrelyRequiem]

Anyway, how about a geek summon? Need help hacking into the enemy's security systems, but no one is tech-savvy enough to handle it? Blood, chakra, poof! A ninety-pound 20-something with glasses that smells of doritoes and mountain dew, wearing flip-flops and a dirty polo shirt. Heck, either pay him with Xena tapes or get Hinata to talk nice to him (shouldn't be hard to do, nice is kinda her default setting, right?) and he'll go after the job with gusto to rivalOthar TryggvassenRock Lee and Maito Gai.

Wait wait wait.

I think you just hit on the -perfect- summon for Naruto. There is so much potential for crack there it's obscene.

[SLAMU]

I just hope I won't get banned for this obscenity. I'd hate to get in trouble for commenting about geeks to this crowd. It'd be like talking to the choir anyway :P

[Lthayer3]

Oh. Oh dear. That has the potential to be a really good crack fic. And think about when Othar meets Jiraiya. Or Gai. Or Bee.

Ok. Dang it. Now I want a Naruto/Girl Genius crossover fic.

[Tempest Kitsune]

I think we covered something like this before in the Plot Bunnies thread. Though in that case it was a Spark!Hinata bunny, followed by discussion about a Spark!Naruto.

[Dechstreme]

Wait, what?

...

WHAT INSANITY HAVE YOU WROUGHT INTO THE INTERNET!?!?!

[Vael]

Huh? I thought this was all going as per normal...*shrug*...the Internet is such a wonderful place

[Dechstreme]

Which means I'm within my rights to reply in as over the top a manner I can in response to something.

Right?

[Stormseed]

Anyway, how about a geek summon? Need help hacking into the enemy's security systems, but no one is tech-savvy enough to handle it? Blood, chakra, poof! A ninety-pound 20-something with glasses that smells of doritoes and mountain dew, wearing flip-flops and a dirty polo shirt. Heck, either pay him with Xena tapes or get Hinata to talk nice to him (shouldn't be hard to do, nice is kinda her default setting, right?) and he'll go after the job with gusto to rivalOthar TryggvassenRock Lee and Maito Gai.

Wait wait wait.

I think you just hit on the -perfect- summon for Naruto. There is so much potential for crack there it's obscene.

You beat me to it.

I may have posted this before, but I did find this thing.

[SquirrelyRequiem]

It's a good fic to be sure, I just wish the author would pick it up again.

Hrmmm, would Othar teach Naruto the ways of the Spark? I mean given his decidedly anti-Spark nature he might not. Yet, Naruto is like the blond-haired, blue-eyed messiah of the Ninja world. Surely such a pinnacle of goodlyness, totally free of any form of corruption save for the malevolent nine-tailed force of nature sealed in his belly, would put such knowledge to good use?

On the other hand, it almost doesn't seem necessary with Summon!Othar.

[Dechstreme]

Othar is one of the most insane Sparks in the comic. He experiences Naruto's power, he'd try to disect him 'til he figures out how to Chakra works, probably because he still gets the urges to experiment and test the boundaries of nature like other sparks.

No, no, and no. I do NOT want Othar anywhere near Naruto.

[SLAMU]

What if Othar's summoning wasn't something that anyone (intentionally) caused? What if, due to Spark!Hinata's antics ("I have sucsessfully weaponized the color fushia! Fear me!" "Shit, who let her near that box of crayons?!") the universe itself pulled in some of the other sparks, and possibly anyone nearby at the time, to sort things out? Somehow, I've got the image of Othar meeting Lee and Gai first. Like calls to like? On that note, what are the chances that Orochimaru stumbles upon one of the Baron's discourse on communication within the workplace? You know, one that escaped all seven Popes' purges?

Besides, if that's what sake does to Lee, what do you think Jägerdraught would do?

Wait, if we were to do this with a minimum amount of crossovering stuff, mostly items and such, if we let Hinata keep the spark, slip Naruto or Ino (Jariya?) Agatha's brooch, Gai the recepie for Jägerdraught, and Orochimaru that discourse, what manner of havoc might be raised? Hinata and Orochimaru's war of wacky inventions alone might be interesting on their own, even disregarding other's own actions.

"What are you doing back so early? I thought I told you to burn Konoha to the ground." Orochimaru didn't look up from his bonsai trees.
"Er, sir. They had, er, bees. Sir." The leader of the newly enhanced team of the man's guinea pigs gulped.
"Bees." The Sannin didn't seem to believe his ears. "Bees." He snipped a small branch. "What kind of bees? Were they, perhaps, ninja bees? Some fearsome acid spitting bees? Did they happen to have lasers attached to them? Were they immune to your attempts to swat them away? Did they retaliate by some manner of two chemicals combining, causing anyone stung to explode violently?" The Otokage didn't raise his voice, he simply examined the tree before him. To all the world, he seemed to be ignoring his underlings.
"Y-yes. Sir." The man wasn't the brightest, but he was one of the survivors of his attempt to splice a certain breed of starfish's regenerative ability into the human genome, and the only one who showed the traits strong enough to make it to the second level of testing. "That would explain it sir. The exploding, I mean." He gulped. "Anyway, the bees kepped us pinned down long enough for the rabits and songbirds to show up."
This time, Orochimaru's hand stopped where it was, inches away from another displeasing growth. "Rabbits."
"And songbirds."
"...she's branching out. I must modify some of my plans." With that, he stood up and walked towards his lab, leaving three terrified underlings who were trying very hard not to comment on their leader's choice in aprons.

Meanwhile, in Konoha, someone else was performing some autopsies in a basement. "Hmm, both an exoskeleton and a verdebrae, eh? That's interesting. I wonder if he had any resperatory problems..." Hyuuga Hinata made a mental note to share this with Aburame Tsukiko, the woman always had some pointers regarding exoskeletons on macro scale...
Oh yes, whoever was sending her these very interesting subjects was quite a talented artist, much like herself. Too bad they kept threatening what was hers, she would have very much liked to work on a project together.

[eternaleye]

SLAMU, you terrify me. Where can I subscribe to your assuredly most excellent newsletter? I want to know if this bunny makes it out of the lab; watching Hinata warp reality would be very fun. Also, it would be entirely too easy to RP this: http://sites.google.com/site/moochava/genius. I don't know whether that's a good or bad thing. (note that the first RP for this system was over IRC [and is archived online], a forum would likely be perfectly feasible.)