Viridian Dreams Forum

Chapter 5 on fanfic.

Have to say that it was pretty well done on how you brought in the Kage Bunshin's memory retention abilities as well as your ideas on how and why explosive tags and seals are not generally used more in combat.

Keep up the great work!



Mysterious

I've just read the chapter and I loved it. From the insightfull perspective of Hikari on Konoha and its residents to the whole sea-price gauging business, not to mention the hang-ups of Anko.

Naruto shrugged uncomfortably. “I’ve always had them with me, fighting,” he said defensively. “I usually don’t let them out of my sight because I don’t want them running around unsupervised.”

That's an amusing and disturbing insight from Naruto. Unsupervised Naruto clones could be a very scary prospect indeed.

I know how he feels. I wouldn't trust clones of me either, expecially ones that are sentient enough to know they are living on borrowed time.

not many would trust naruto at the start of the story and either dose naruto.

anyway liked the chapter.

This Chapter is great. I always wondered how Naruto would turn out if he had some siblings or close family to keep him in check. I'm especially looking forward to Hikaru's meddling in Naruto's love life.

Hikaru trying to set him up with Hinata, perhaps? That would be interesting...but what if he tried to set him up with Sakura instead?

I had a reply to that, but it came off very assish, so I'm just going to say; do you think any snarktastic oc of viridian's will ever support Naru/Saku?

The thing with him trying to get Sakura and Naruto together is that Hikaru can clearly see that she isn't interested in a romantic relationship with Naruto in any way. Moreover, because she is having to repeatedly tell him to piss off, it's hurting Team 7's ability to work together. As far as Hikaru knows, the only way that the two will ever even become friends is if Naruto stops chasing her. Since friends are more willing to risk their lives for each other, and Hikaru very much wants Naruto to live, it'd stand to reason that he would try to get Naruto to look elsewhere for romance.

Then again, he could also do the smart thing and leave that sort of social manoeuvring to Asuka, since she's obviously much better at it.

Oh, I know that the Authorlord isn't a fan of Naru/Saku. However, it would be a bit ironic if he never found out that Hinata liked Naruto (after all, Naruto's managed to go this long without finding out...then again, I hope that Hikaru is a bit more observant than Naruto.) But yeah, I don't remember if he's already formed an opinion of Sakura or not.

I don't think Hikaru has formed an opinion on Sakura herself, as in, "Wow, she's unbearable," or whatnot, as I don't think they've spent enough time with each other to form that kind of opinion. I do however think that Hikaru doesn't think Sakura is good for Naruto. That may change if Hikaru witnesses a better side of Sakura, but right now, all he has to go on is the one time they ate ramen together, and Naruto's praising her beauty and lamenting her affection for Sasuke, and that's not much all together. To really get a picture of Sakura, he'd have to go spying on her, which probably wouldn't end well. To spy on her, he'd likely end up caught by Anko and peppered with kunai, caught by Kakashi and turned over to Sakura (or Gai), or caught by Asuka and lectured.

MrRigger

Spying on Hinata wouldn't exactly be much easier, what with the security the Hyuuga clan must have...then again, he probably won't need to spy to find out that she likes him. One glance at how she acts around him should be enough for anyone to tell--except Naruto, of course.

As for learning more about Sakura, I'm pretty sure he's gonna be able to do that during the one month break until the Third Exam, since she's gonna most likely be wandering around the village gossiping with Ino.

Well, Hikaru and Asuka are working with Anko on getting the FoD and the tower ready for the chuunin exams, right?

If they're still working for her (I hesistate to use students...) by the preliminaries they'll probably be around to figure out Hinata's feelings. Events may not happen as they did in canon, but seeing Hinata and how she reacts being anywhere near Naruto should be enough.

As for learning more about Sakura, I'm pretty sure he's gonna be able to do that during the one month break until the Third Exam, since she's gonna most likely be wandering around the village gossiping with Ino.

This one still contains the possibility for being caught by Anko, or the highly likely scenario of being caught by Asuka and having to be lectured/silent treatment. I can actually see it now, Hikaru spends the day keeping an eye on Sakura, figuring her out as best as he can, doesn't get very far, asks Asuka her opinion, and gets reamed for invading another girl's privacy. Hikaru just can't win for losing.

MrRigger

Why would he spy on Sakura at that point, though? Learn more about her for what reason? Not for Naruto's love life because Asuka and Hikaru have already decided to find someone better (someone that they'll likely find at the prelims). Anyway, I don't see Hikaru following Sakura to learn more about her unless he has a solid purpose in mind.

I'm still not sure Hikaru and Asuka would be at the preliminaries. I agree, show not tell, but they don't have a good reason to be in the room for it, even if they're allowed in the tower/forest during the exam. I've always had the impression that the contents of the chuunin exam are kept secret from genin until they've already taken it. It would make sense for it to actually be policy to keep the contents of the exam under a gag order for genin and below. It wouldn't be perfect, but apparently none of the teacher's mentioned anything to their students about the official rules/what to expect beforehand. I really don't think Hikaru and Asuka would be allowed to actually witness the exam. They're cleared to work on certain aspects of it, such as the cameras, but they aren't allowed to get the whole picture.

Now, if genin are good enough to figure the exam out beforehand through their own snooping, I can see that being allowed, provided they aren't caught. These are ninja we're talking about.

MrRigger

You know what I think would be funny? If Anko and her ‘students’ ended up forming a stronger bond throughout the story while Team 7 falls a part like it did originally in the manga/anime. It might make for a nice Take That, that a team Anko (someone with an admittedly poor rep) is running manages to stick together, rather than the team supervised by one of the best ninjas in the village.

It could be like that, rigger.

Then again, since the prelims mirror the very public third exam anyway...I wouldn't see it as odd if Asuka and Hikaru are allowed to watch, especially if they're already in the tower as Anko's assistants. Sarutobi's a bit of a softie like that, and really, they'd just hear about it from Naruto anyway. Maybe there's not a strong reason for it at the moment, but I don't see that much against it.


Spenc, you just sent shivers up my spine. I've seen pretty much the same thing (except it's Naruto in a team Anko rather than OCs) in a few too many crappy bash fics.

I don't think of what would happen in terms of bashing, though. That's too meta. I just thought it would be really ironic that a team that on paper probably fall apart might have a better chance then Team 7. Ah, but only time will tell.

It could be like that, rigger.

Then again, since the prelims mirror the very public third exam anyway...I wouldn't see it as odd if Asuka and Hikaru are allowed to watch, especially if they're already in the tower as Anko's assistants. Sarutobi's a bit of a softie like that, and really, they'd just hear about it from Naruto anyway. Maybe there's not a strong reason for it at the moment, but I don't see that much against it.


Spenc, you just sent shivers up my spine. I've seen pretty much the same thing (except it's Naruto in a team Anko rather than OCs) in a few too many crappy bash fics.

Well, in order for them to be there for the prelims, they would have likely had to be in the tower from the start, which as I said before, they likely wouldn't have been able to be there from the beginning. Remember, the prelims were something of a surprise, IIRC, and only took place because so many teams made it to the Tower. And I can't see them being brought in. It just doesn't make logical sense to me, even if it would be an entertaining read.

MrRigger

Spenc, you just sent shivers up my spine. I've seen pretty much the same thing (except it's Naruto in a team Anko rather than OCs) in a few too many crappy bash fics.

One of the things I've always admired most about the Authorlord's stories is that all of them are essentially stories where the main characters go through everything in a slightly different way, sometimes incidentally causing things to become better (Team 8) or going through deliberately making things better (Nightmares of Futures Past)--yet, despite all of the potential for it, they never become bash-fics. The Authorlord shows how things could be improved, putting to rest some of the most annoying, nagging problems with canon without ever losing the love and respect for it that we fans have. It is a difficult thing to do, but I trust him to do the same with OotD as he does with his other fanfics.

And I can't see them being brought in. It just doesn't make logical sense to me, even if it would be an entertaining read.

Which is funny because it makes perfect sense to me. Anko would probably have them doing something in the tower throughout the second test, final preparations for the arriving candidates and all that.

Guess we're just at an impasse.

To be honest, I don't see why they wouldn't watch the prelims.

They don't know what the First Stage test is. They don't know much about the Second Stage test except that it'll likely be a multi-day exercise in that training area (hence the need for cameras everywhere). Watching the prelims only tells them that if too many pass the second stage, the numbers get reduced via 1v1 combat to a level acceptable for the last stage. And the last stage is a public tournament, so no secret there.

No secrets of the exam are revealed to them except for something that makes sense, is optional (if numbers are low enough), AND has nothing to do with prior tests.

Plus, Naruto would probably tell them everything about the stages of the exam after the second stage ended anyhow.

Just realized what Hikaru and Asuka are likely to do from that. Considering how Neji was until Naruto's therapeutic beatdown, Hikaru is likely to get mad, and Asuka is likely to set Neji on fire.