Crowning Moments of Awesome/Funny (any fic)

Re: Crowning Moments of Awesome/Funny (any fic)

Unread postby Lightwhispers » October 6th, 2013, 9:59 pm

EarthScorpion's Worm crossover fic An Imago of Rust and Crimson is up with his best horror. (We don't know what it's a crossover with yet, it's been promised to be revealed at the end of Arc 1.) However, one of my favorite bits is one of his comments on the thread:
When you start seeing into Creepy Hell Dimensions which seem to reflect the real world, always expect monsters. Many people have failed to do so, and become posthumous evidence which the main character interprets from old diaries and reports found in creepy old asylums.
Also, Biigoh's Worm/Exalted fic Goblin Queen, in the latest chapter.
Spoiler: show
"Sophia. I do apologize for this," My voice carried in the silent courtyard as the other students watched at the ensuring high school drama.

If anything, reading Doctor_Luv-Pan's yuri fics online and the romance novels in the library had taught me how to handle this. When turning someone down, one had to be firm and polite. And if the person expressing an interest in you, had... unhealthy taste like a YanYan type character, one has to make sure that it's done publicly and not be alone with them. Especially if they were a stalker.

"It's not you, rather it's me. You see, recently, I've been doing some thinking. And I don't think that I'm ready for the kind of relationship that you seem to want with me," Discretely, I slipped my lunchbox into my bag, and thanked all that was holy that talking was a free action... especially when the one I was talking to was gaping at me as if unable to believe what I was saying.

From behind her, I could see a few students catching our conversation on their cellphones. "I'm really really sorry, but at this time, my interests don't coincide with your... desire to include me in your lesbian harem. I'm really not into the rough stuff like you and the others might be."

Very gently, I placed my hands on hers. "If you want, we can be friends. But that would mean you have to stop following me everywhere and trying to get my attention."

My voice was gentle, but firm as I continued. "Stalking me after school is also something that you shouldn't do. I mean, you could have gotten hurt climbing that tree and looking at my house with binoculars. And you chasing after me yesterday, I came to the realization that you might misinterpret my friends as rivals or something."

"So please, don't take this the wrong way, okay?" I smiled at her in a friendly manner, picked up my bag and started walking away.

I managed to get to the cafeteria doors, before I heard a scream of outrage and... well, I didn't know she had enough strength to flip the table.

Naturally, I ran.

Against some things, one shouldn't fight. Because no matter what, one can not win. And Sophia appeared to have taken my rejection poorly.
Raksha!Taylor is greatest troll.
Warning: the above may contain strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and logic (which may be unsuitable for stupid people).
-adapted from xkcd

I'm a solipsistic conspiracy theorist. I'm sure I must be up to something, and I will not stop until I find out what.
-xkcd
User avatar
Lightwhispers
 
Posts: 361
Joined: January 20th, 2011, 5:14 pm

Re: Crowning Moments of Awesome/Funny (any fic)

Unread postby jgkitarel » November 15th, 2013, 12:53 am

Chapter 22 of Imperfect Cherry Blossom has a lot of them.
Spoiler: show
Especially the fight against the mind controlled Kaguya.
Also, I have to punch you, jgkitarel, because I spent a lot of time on the nanoha wiki trying to locate information on mages being trained due to being above a certain rank, only to remember and confirm that you were the one that came up with that. - Phht
Don't forget: Mass Effect is powered by magic space rocks. Evangelion is powered by Your Mom.
From his new fic Long Night of the Harvest

My current project on FFN, Mystic Knight Online
User avatar
jgkitarel
 
Posts: 2534
Joined: January 20th, 2011, 5:14 pm
Location: D.C - Baltimore Area

Re: Crowning Moments of Awesome/Funny (any fic)

Unread postby TraceReading » November 18th, 2013, 9:13 am

I know, I know, wizards and logic don't mix, but why hasn't anyone ever considered having Harry ask Dobby to bring him the source of the danger (the Diary) in second year? Then he could just stash it somewhere or toss it in a fireplace and nothing would happen.

And why doesn't anyone ever consider that if Sirius wanted Harry dead that he could've broken out two years earlier, if not even sooner?

Of course this IS the same society that considers Dementors to be a good idea when it comes to patrolling an area...
See this look? It's terror!
User avatar
TraceReading
 
Posts: 400
Joined: March 8th, 2011, 9:50 pm

Re: Crowning Moments of Awesome/Funny (any fic)

Unread postby Lightwhispers » December 4th, 2013, 11:32 am

Ace McShane is awesome. This is written into the laws of the universe somewhere. I cannot think of any other possibility.

Examples, from here: (read it first!)
Spoiler: show
After spending most of the fic making me(on a meta-level) think that he's the Master (Time Lord, but not the Doctor), he busts out with this. Context:Ace currently has a dolorovore (despair-eater) in her head.
--
A memory of a conversation, some time after the event: "Professor? What did you use to hold off the haemovores? What do you have that much faith in?"

A pause; she thought for a moment he wasn't going to answer at all. He danced around so many other personal questions. But finally, he gave her his best I-have-a-secret smile, and said, "Names."

"What, like, names from Time Lord history? Rassilon, Omega . . ."

"No." His tone said, don't be silly. "Names of power. Important names."

He'd never elaborated. But this was it, this was the chant that the Doctor had used in nineteen forty-five to hold haemovores at bay, the words that held faith strong enough to make vampires cower–or dolorovores. There was only one person who'd know about it. There was only one person who'd believe in it, who'd be able to use it.

He'd been dropping clues all along. Deliberately, with the certainty that she wouldn't assemble them until he gave her the critical piece. Rolled r's. Apologies. Even mentioning his loathing of bus stations, to Britney, with a little offhand bit of reverse psychology to make sure she passed it on to Ace if she didn't take his offer of sleep. Oh, that was familiar, so very familiar. Ace would never be a chess master herself, but she knew enough to recognize a playing style.

She felt dizzy. Light-headed. Her mouth was hanging open. A rush of hope, all scrambled up with fear that it wasn't, because it was clearly impossible and rising joy, because impossible had never, ever applied, and what and how and am I dreaming? He was shouting the names now. Melodramatic, over-the-top–that was familiar too, the attitude of a performer. "Liz Shaw! Jo Grant! Sarah Jane Smith! Brigadier! Alastair! Gordon! Lethbridge-Stewart!"

Who Ace had met. And she'd heard of Jo Grant; never met her, but she'd seen one of her protests on some BBC news program and thought, interesting. She's got the Look.

Ordinary human names. Names of power. They were traveling companions.

The realization, the sudden totality of everything that meant, hit Ace like an ocean wave. The dolorovore's sticky tendrils weren't controlling her at all, now, but she was too shocked to move. "You," she whispered, as he bellowed names at the sky, "you–you're–you are fucking kidding me."

"Nyssa of Traken! Tegan Jovanka! Vislor Turlough!" His voice had risen even more. "Perpugilliam Brown! Melanie Bush!"

And then he stopped. And opened his eyes. And paused, for a long and unbearable moment, before stepping forward and tweaking her nose. "Ace," the Doctor whispered, "McShane."

Everything went white.
---
(Explanation, a little later)
"Thought so." Ace turned back to Britney. "See, here's the thing. It worked. The creature jumped into my brain. The Doctor overwhelmed it with faith."

"No, I didn't," the Doctor said.

"What?"

"It wasn't feeding off me. I–did what I did–because I knew you'd recognize it. And from that, you'd know who I am. You fed it an instant of pure hope, and it burned up like a leaf in a supernova. All," he tapped her nose, "you."
And afterwards,
"A monster annoyed McShane," the Doctor explained, "and then exploded. Perfectly normal phenomenon, happens all the time. There's probably a support group. The support group is probably on fire."
:burnt:
Warning: the above may contain strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and logic (which may be unsuitable for stupid people).
-adapted from xkcd

I'm a solipsistic conspiracy theorist. I'm sure I must be up to something, and I will not stop until I find out what.
-xkcd
User avatar
Lightwhispers
 
Posts: 361
Joined: January 20th, 2011, 5:14 pm

Re: Crowning Moments of Awesome/Funny (any fic)

Unread postby DidelotM1 » January 1st, 2014, 1:26 am

a bit of amusement for, though I'm unsure if this has been covered already, is Greylle's Naruto Fic Spiral Dragon. Short description: God of Mischief turns Naruto into a dragon, thus even when human he's got certain abilities. This is meeting team Gai on a mission to save the team that took the Wave mission in their absence.

Spoiler: show
Neji Hyuga was many things. Prideful and arrogant, true. Competent was also true. Many hailed him as not only being skilled but actually a genius or elite.

Walking into the appointed clearing to see that their transportation was something he'd NOT expected only caused him to stare for a few moments. Then he activated his Byakugan to examine in greater detail and determine if this was some genjutsu.

It was not. It was at least fifty-six feet in length, naturally armored, a flying pseudo-reptile with a chakra network that looked like it would take explosive tags to disrupt. It regarded him for a moment, cocking its head in a way that suggested curiosity, but otherwise remained docile. Which was very good actually as something with teeth and claws worthy of being called swords was best viewed in a calm state.

"Oh. My. Sweet. Kami."

He didn't have to look at Tenten to see that their team kunoichi had come to a complete halt and was openly staring.

"Gai-sensei!" said the team's last member. "The team of your rival has a dragon?"

"Yes, Lee," said Gai-sensei. "Summons are among the most versatile tools that a ninja can possess. Unfortunately it is a form of ninjutsu that requires extensive amounts of chakra."

"Thisissocool. canwegetone. ohmyfreakingsweetkami. canwegoforaridenow?" asked Tenten as she blurred in at high speeds and HUGGED one of the heavily muscled forelegs of the beast.

Said beast curled his neck to get a better look at the kunoichi wrapping herself around a foreleg and then glanced at the remainder of the group. Its body language seemed to indicate puzzlement.

"I am unused to seeing Tenten react to anything like that," confessed Lee, speaking to the dragon.

"It is just a dumb beast, Lee," began Neji.

"That's where you are wrong, Neji," said Gai quietly. "One of the things about summoned animals is that they are capable of understanding human speech."

"True," said one of the genin nearby, a black-haired youth who'd been leaning against a tree and quietly observing them. "Sometimes the trick is getting him to shut up."

"Iwantone. Isoverywantoneofmyveryown. andIwillnamehim TerrorFromTheSkies. and-" continued Tenten.

"She's usually not this bad," commented Gai. "Except with weapons."

"Perhaps she sees him as a weapon?" asked Lee. After all, teeth and claws and thick armor and powerful-looking.

"That's probably it," admitted Gai.

"Wait till she finds out he can spit explosive fire," said Sasuke.

"He can?" asked Tenten, causing Sasuke to get very startled as she'd moved VERY fast to get in front of him. And... was she sparkling?

"Yes, but I'm afraid the dragon summoning contract is bloodline dependent," said Kakashi, dropping out of the trees. "Or a hijutsu. Clan thing. You'd have to marry into the family to have a chance at all."

The large dragon shivered as if it felt some chill come out of nowhere.

Then he learns that gifting someone his chakra gives them a lighter version of his abilities, Thus we have these gems...
Spoiler: show
"No, what we can do since everything's set up is have you try that strength-sharing jutsu now," said Kakashi.

"But we just did and she ain't taking it," replied Naruto.

"Not with Sakura as the recipient," said Kakashi. "If you've done it before, you're more likely to get it right the next time you do it. Since there's a month of training between now and then, if you make a mistake - that's a month for both of you to recover."

"Oh," said Naruto.

"So how do we choose which one tries it out?" asked Tenten, indicating herself and Hinata. "Draw straws?"

"Uhm," began Hinata.

"You're not allowed to Byakugan," said Tenten.

"I- I wouldn't," protested Hinata.

"Do both," suggested Sasuke, sounding amused.

"That sort of thing should wait for another time," said Keri firmly. "Let's go with Hinata for now. Next time you need to practice, Tenten can get first chance."

Tenten frowned but nodded. Damn. There goes my potential advantage in the next fight.

Hinata froze as it now looked as if she might have to kiss Naruto.

"Hinata, are you okay?" asked Naruto.

"Of c-c-course," stammered Hinata, apparently not aware of the trickle of blood coming out of one nostril.

and....

Spoiler: show
"Slow down. Just a trickle."

Tenten watched curiously as the Hyuga stood there trembling until Naruto's lips touched hers. At which point she fastened on with arms and legs and a grip that was going to require some serious strength to break.

"Hinata. Slow down. You're trying to take in more chakra than you can process."

Kakashi Hatake considered saying something. How he expected Naruto to be the one to try and go too fast or too enthusiastically. On how the reputation of the Hyuga as cold in-control stoics was slipping a bit. Perhaps a remark about how it was the quiet ones you usually had to watch out for. In the end though, he simply kept his own counsel.

Which was proven the correct course of action when the girl fainted, apparently when she realized exactly to what extent she had latched onto Naruto.

"Okay, that's enough," said Keri. "Good job, Naruto."

"I get the feeling that something else was going on," complained Naruto.

"Ah," said Sasuke. "He can get a clue."
And lastly...
Spoiler: show
"Well, it's a first effort," said Keri as the girl tried out her new strength.

"I kinda expected more," said Naruto.

Hinata blinked, turning to stare at Naruto.

"Her strength is roughly four times what it was, and her durability is somewhat greater," said Keri. "For a first effort with the jutsu, not bad. Part of this is Hinata's own control, now that she's exhibiting some."

Hinata had the grace to look embarassed at that reminder.
User avatar
DidelotM1
 
Posts: 286
Joined: January 20th, 2011, 5:14 pm

Re: Crowning Moments of Awesome/Funny (any fic)

Unread postby jgkitarel » January 1st, 2014, 1:50 pm

Amazingly enough, it hasn't. Then again, when you look at No Tendo, Greylle is pretty capable of making crack with a good deal of seriousness. Not to the levels of SCM, but he makes a good effort.
Also, I have to punch you, jgkitarel, because I spent a lot of time on the nanoha wiki trying to locate information on mages being trained due to being above a certain rank, only to remember and confirm that you were the one that came up with that. - Phht
Don't forget: Mass Effect is powered by magic space rocks. Evangelion is powered by Your Mom.
From his new fic Long Night of the Harvest

My current project on FFN, Mystic Knight Online
User avatar
jgkitarel
 
Posts: 2534
Joined: January 20th, 2011, 5:14 pm
Location: D.C - Baltimore Area


Return to “%s” General Fanfiction Discussion

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users

cron