Crowning Moments of Awesome/Funny (any fic)

[Lightwhispers]

The final chapter of Vulpine. All of it.
A few choice bits, for the impatient.
For the funny: Naruto is talking with Millie (the Kyuubi)

Spoiler: show

Yeah, I get it. Meanie. Oh well, I can do Zen.

Naruto blinked. YOU can do zen?

Ozy showed me how. I think he was impressed with how quickly I got it. Only took a decade.

The Jinchuuriki chuckled. That I can believe. Okay, we'll start with something fairly simple.

He blinked, as his mindscape shook with a rumbling purring.

…did you just fall asleep?

Yep! Millie's head popped up just long enough to give that bright, clear answer, then went back on her paws and she went back to snoring.

Naruto shrugged. …I'll take it.

For the Awesome... well, the entire chapter, but out of sentimentality, I had a mix of awww and Aww Yeah! when

Spoiler: show

Kurenai breaks out of the Moon's Eye illusion because she's that good at Genjutsu.

[gamebrain89]

New chapter of Ricochet.

Spoiler: show

Sakura had answered her questions neatly, thoroughly, and with the ease of someone who understood exactly what a teacher was looking for in textbook answers.

Sasuke had answered his questions in a way that managed to communicate both I am an actual genius But also, fuck you and your quizzes, Kakashi-Sensei. It was actually rather impressive. Kakashi's heart was positively swollen with pride.

Naruto had answered exactly half of his questions correctly, before apparently becoming bored with the entire institution of education. The bottom half of his paper was decorated instead with an extremely detailed picture of a cat, and the words Boom. Kittyface. Scribbled into the margins.

Kakashi fucking loved that child.

[shadowspiri5]

The entirety of Ricochet is a Crowning Moment of Funny.

[jgkitarel]

That it is, that it is.

[Farmer_10]

What do you guys think the whole things is? My theory is that Obito and Madara won and they're in a Tsukuyomi-lotus-eater.

[jgkitarel]

Even more, many within the cast are starting to see some things are... off.

[TraceReading]

From Incident Report chapter 4:

Spoiler: show

Naruto looked down as well. The missing-nin didn't even look injured. No blood or wounds anywhere except at the stumps, almost as if he'd just been batted around until he dropped. Naruto thought about this for a minute, and then slumped unhappily. "Oh."

"So~," Megumi interrupted, "If you're not gonna eat that… can I have it?"

There was a long, uncomfortable silence as this statement sunk into her teammates' heads. Takeshi took a large, unsubtle step backwards.

Then Kosada broke the awkward moment by laughing in sudden relief. "Oh! You mean to use as an anatomically accurate target for your senbon."

Megumi blinked once, slowly. "Yeah. That's what I meant."

[someone]

Not really a fic, but still

Spoiler: show

Danzo laughed in the privacy of his office. He had originally thought that this furor over "shipping" was ridiculous, but he had discovered benefits to it soon enough.

After all, it was a hobby in which all that people suffered was the occasional heartbreak, and it managed to keep the experienced ninja both occupied (very important, with ninja) and in practice with the subterfurge that Konoha usually ignored. Not even Sarutobi would have objected to this! Probably. Maybe.

Danzo had even learned how to stir up the pot once things had started calming down, all to ensure that Konoha's military always had a few "espionage drills" available. All that was needed was for him to prod the Civillian Council into supporting some ridiculous pairing, and the ninja would rush to counteract their shipping, and each other's shipping, and try and ensure that their own schemes to derail the plots of others didn't inspire an even worse pairing from taking place.

Yes, Konoha had finally become the hotbed of intrigue that he had always wanted it to be, and all it took, was love.

Sure, things got out of hand every once in a while, like Negi’s admirably straightforward method of ensuring that Hinata and Naruto could spend time together. His attempted hospitalization of the both of them had resulted in Tsunade setting a few ground rules regarding this shipping war, and the newest Kage of the Village of the Sand seemed to think that foreign intervention in Konoha’s shipping was acceptable, but overall, Danzo could say that everything was going exactly as according to plan-

There was a banging at the door, and one of his agents slammed it open. "Sir, we couldn't stop him, he's right urkgh-"

Standing over the unconsious body of his doorguard was Itachi.

"You tried to pair Sasuke with whom?"

Danzo blinked, and swiftly recalibrated his worldview to accommodate an Itachi who cared about that sort of thing.

"Ah, yes, that Chouji incident was merely a smokescreen for-"

"Of course he was!" Itachi snapped. "The same goes for that thing with Naruko, Hinata, and Tsunade!" Wait, what? Had he been outmaneuvered? He hadn’t accounted for that eventuality. "I was referring to your attempts to pair him up with Ino!" What?

"Itachi, I was-"

"Your obvious attempts at setting up the Naruta pairing leaves no one suitable for Sasuke, since Sakura's obviously going to end up with Shino at this point.”

Danzo had to blink at that. “But I thought that Sakura was due to discover that the letters were forged?”

Itachi glared at him. “That means nothing if she decides that, regardless of whether or not Shino was the one who originally sent the messages, she still cared for him, and you know that.” Itachi continued his staredown. “Now, as we both know that Sasuke is going to want a heterosexual relationship even if merely to start the clan up again, regardless of what certain factions seem to believe to believe of him and Naruto, that leaves a limited number of possibilities. Furthermore, due to the power dynamics, he is unlikely to go out with anyone of a differing age. That leaves Ino as the most reasonable candidate.”

Danzo gave a slightly confused blink. “And your point is?” Danzo looked into Itachi’s eyes, and could see more anger than he could ever recall seeing in the man's face before.

“The point is that she is a fangirl,” at this three tomoe began to spin, “and I cannot tolerate my little brother entering a relationship with a fangirl”.

[jgkitarel]

[Random_fan]

That was brilliant, I would absolutely read a full fic of that.

[Zankaru Zelladonii]

From Uzumaki Naruto: Sorcerer for Hire by Chibi-Reaper

Spoiler: show

*battle of the bridge in wave arc, zabuza/haku have just appeared and the fight begins.

Sasuke found himself envious of the fire technique that had burned off the mist and eclipsed any of the ones he knew... yet, he hastily qualified. He also found himself trapped in a dome of mirrors, alongside an equally surprised Kakashi, who it seemed had teleported in entirely the wrong direction and was now going to be double-teaming Zabuza's accomplice, rather than fighting Zabuza himself.

Naruto had taken on that role, and had relatively quickly pushed Zabuza onto the defensive with a barrage of elemental spells, followed by magically binding and shaping some of the water around them into ice-golems.

"You know Zabuza, I think I shall turn you into a rabbit." He stated conversationally, blasting at the man with a powerful arc of electricity that he was hard pressed to avoid. "Yes... a cute little rabbit with black fur and floppy ears and beady little red eyes. Then I shall tie a pink ribbon around your neck, and name you 'Mopsy' and then I'm going to feed you to a snake!"

[jgkitarel]

Yeah, that scene was priceless.

[Vael]

From "I Just Want a Vacation" Latest Chapter:

Spoiler: show

Shut up!

Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!

"If that makes it easier to understand." I force myself to say.

Link must never hear of this.

Scratch that. Everyone here, who I'm sure is able to make out [redacted] half of our conversation due to that booming voice… Everyone gets a Shiekan memory wipe. I swear there will be memory wipes!

Sorry Tohsaka Rin, this Zelda is now the Queen of the Tsundere.

[Tarnished Blade]

Harry Potter: Game of the Year Edition

from Chapter 1:

Spoiler: show

The room was designed the same way as the... entryway, as Harry decided to call it. Pure white with columns and marble everywhere. The room was decorated with statues. It was disturbing that they all looked mostly like Harry except... not quite right. Save for one, that is. All of the statues seemed to be chained down onto a pedastal except for that one. It was an exact replica of Harry and seemed to be walking in place on its pedastal. CHOOSE YOUR AVATAR, the message said as it appeared in mid-air in front of Harry.

"So these are all different versions of me?" Harry asked as he read some of the labels. 'Human' was the normal looking Harry and the only one not chained down, 'Veela' a much better looking version, 'Dragonborn' a Harry that seemed to have small barely visible scales, 'Demonic' and on and on it went. As it was the only one unlocked, Harry chose 'Human'.

After he made his selection, the statues all sank into the stone floor, to be immediately replaced with a new set of statues. This time, four were without chains. CHOOSE YOUR ORIGIN, the game demanded. Looking around, Harry recognised the names on the unchained statues. Dragon Slayer, Weasley and Dunderhead as well as theStandard origins were moving.

"So because I did certain things while alive, I get new options for next time?" Harry mused. Maybe if he knew what he needed to do, he could make sure to do it this time. Then if he came back here when he died again, he would have even more choices.

Granger Harry was the first one he looked at. It looked like a healthier and happier version of himself, much like the moving Weasley Harry did. Though the Weasley one was noticeably pudgy. Not surprising given Mrs Weasley's cooking.

LOCKED! Learn Hermione's parents' names!

"... That's it? That's the unlock condition? That's easy! They're... err... Huh." Harry said as he scratched his head in confusion, realising he never actually learned them. "Well okay then I'll... I'll look out for that..." he promised as he sheepishly moved to the next locked statue.

Pottermort was unnerving. In both its appearance and what it represented. It was Harry but his features were more snakelike, ending up a twisted cross of Harry and Voldemort. Harry wasn't aware of it, but that basically described what the Pottermort origin was; the fusing of Voldemort's soul fragment in Harry's scar with Harry's own soul, leaving strong traces of the Dark Lord's personality imprinted on him.

Locked! Become the next Dark Lord!

"... That sense of humour still strong, I see." Harry said before immediately moving on.

Ninja Harry-

"OH FUCK YES!" Harry shouted, seeing the masked version of himself in a mask, standard ninja attire and in a standard ninja pose. "How do I get this one! HOW?"

Locked! Attain freedom from the Dursleys unaided!

"Hm." Harry said. "That could be tricky. But it'd be soooo worth it!"

from Chapter 7:

Spoiler: show

"My mum and dad just owled me back." Ant continued. "Along with a long and... disturbing letter," He shuddered involuntarily, "They sent me these."

Harry looked through the pile of leaflets Ant had dumped on his desk. Among them were titles such as 'My Changing Body', 'Growing in New and Fun Ways', and 'Sex and Other Fun Things You're Starting to Think About but Still Too Young For'. The last one was Harry's favourite. It really got to the heart of the matter. "Your parents gave you 'the Talk' in a letter, didn't they?"

Ant's expression gained a 'thousand-yard stare' quality to it. "Mum charmed it so I had to read the whole thing once I started. There were things in there about my parents... I never wanted to know."

"Oh, it can't be all that bad, surely."

"Dad shaves his bollocks. He recommends I do the same."

"Ah... Maybe we could bribe a crooked Auror to Obliviate you?" Harry suggested.

"I hate you, Harry." Ant said resignedly before setting the offending letter on fire.

[jgkitarel]

Nice.

[Zankaru Zelladonii]

Greatly enjoying that fic, never will I think of the happy birthday song the same way.

[someone]

Heh, I found that fic literally 15 minutes before reading the post...

I'm not sure about it though, looks like Dumbledore and Ron bashing from what I saw so far.

[jgkitarel]

From The Somewhat Cracked Mind of Uchiha Itachi:

Spoiler: show

"It's beautiful," Naruto said, wide-eyed.

Itachi groaned, feeling his remaining sanity slipping away. After one week with Naruto and Sasuke being around him 24-7, he wasn't sure he had any to spare.

He wouldn't have been surprised if Iruka and Kisame had defaced the Hokage monument—that was one of Naruto's favorite pranks and the kid no doubt would have gotten the tribute—but no. No, they went and did this.

The entire monument was papered in various neon pamphlets about the various dangers of child and/or orphan abuse and Konoha statutes for the punishment thereof. The pamphlets were even color-coordinated so you could still see each kage's general features.

Itachi's own "avenger" side kicked in and he resolved to hint to the Hokage to give Kisame Hoshigaki his first ever D-Rank mission: monumental cleanup.

It only gets crazier from here.

[Vael]

Only one thing to say: Deidara and Itachi rivalry.

[jgkitarel]

How about what the Konoha 12 do in the Chuunin Exams? Their training has been taken up some notches and for longer due to a visit by the Good Idea Fairy (GIF) to Itachi.

[Thozmp]

From a Ranma fic that also features Sailor Moon, albeit in a vastly different manner, Millennium

Spoiler: show

The Lord of Change's beak twisted into an avian imitation of a smile. "You will all play a great part in the coming conflict."

Tiro blinked in surprise. "Wait... ALL of us?"

"Not you," The Lord of Change hissed, which made Tiro feel somewhat disappointed and relieved at the same time. "... Not you either," the daemon amended, pointing to Tuxedo Kamen.

"HEY!"

"So what you're telling me," Asuka interrupted, "is that you've seen some kind of spooky future vision, or have some plan from your ultimate master, and we're important parts of it? That's kind of sad."

The Lord of Change raised its head. "Oh?"

"I mean, considering that only one side is going to leave this place," Asuka continued, making a hand signal behind her that had all the DAPC officers raising their weapons, "isn't it depressing to know that we're a more vital part of your master's plan than you?"

[jgkitarel]

Ah, a classic.

[Thozmp]

Chapter 24 of What If?

but mostly Sasuke and the versitility of "Hn."

[Farmer_10]

Funny at some parts, but too bashy for my taste.

[jgkitarel]

On the other hand, the Blot has this gem. From Rorscach's Blot Who's a Hero? we get this as a sample. The entire fic is soooooo worth reading.

Spoiler: show

"Who dares?" Voldemort screamed.

"That's right," Susan agreed from another roof, "he does. And What is beside him."

"I don't know?" Hanna said. "Why?"

"Me too," Luna said.

"We won't let him stand alone," Hermione agreed from her own roof. "But How will we do it?"

"Anyway we can," Hanna said firmly, "for together we are . . ."

"The QUESTIONERS!" The girls all screamed together. They looked down to see a headless Dark Lord, several Death Eaters with their hands up, and Harry cleaning the blood off his blade.

"Thanks for the distraction ladies," Harry said grandly, "without it I may have never been able to walk up to this foul fiend and stab him in the back half a dozen times before chopping off his head . . . ha ha."

"You've defeated the Dark Lord," a reporter said in an awe filled voice. "There's just one thing I want to ask you."

"What's that good citizen?" Harry asked.

"Who are you?" The reporter demanded.

"That's right," Luna said with a wave at Harry, "Who is he."

"What?"

"That's her," Luna said with a wave at Susan.

"What is your name?"

"No, what is her name."

"No," he sobbed, "that's not what I mean."

"Then speak more clearly," Luna advised.

"Your name is . . . fill in the blank."

"My name is not fill in the blank," Luna said with a scandalized expression on the portion of her face not covered by a mask, "it's . . . I don't know."

"You don't know?"

"No," she disagreed. "I don't know," she said clearly.

"Why are you doing this?" The confused innocent bystander sobbed. "Can't you just speak clearly?"

"Doing what?" Hermione replied.

"You're not doing me," Susan said quickly.

"I'd like to do you both," Luna said dreamily.

"Who?" Another innocent bystander asked.

"Him too," Luna said enthusiastically, "it would be fun."

"How would it work?" Hermione asked, her eyes crossed as she tried to figure out how everything would go together.

"I don't know," Hanna admitted.

"Quite well I think," Luna replied

Bonus points to whomever gets the running gag that is throughout the fic just from the snippet.