Viridian Dreams Forum

I died in a car crash two days ago
was unrecognizable
when they pulled me from the gears
no one's fault, no one's bottle
no one's teenage pride or throttle
our innocence is all the worse for fears
the other walked away alive
arms wrapped now around his wife

my lover sits, the silent eye
in a hurricane of warmth and word
my mother trembles with the sobs
whose absence seems absurd
my sister shouts to let her see
through the cloud of crowd surrounding me
my colleagues call for silence in my name

I died in a car crash three months ago
they burned me until I glowed
and crumbled to a fine gray sand
now I am nothing, everywhere
several breaths of strangers' air
and all thoughts ever written in my hand
they plant my tree out in the yard
it grows but takes the winter hard

my lover holds a knife to wrist
says tomorrow comes, hold on a while
my mother tosses in the sheets
and dreams me holding my own child
my sister plays our homemade tapes
laughs as tears run down her face
my office door now wears a different name

I died in a car crash four years ago
my tree drinks melted snow
just eight feet tall a pale and fragile thing
bee stings beaches bright vacations
sunburnt high-school graduations
a sparrow healing from a broken wing
this year a glimpse of second chances
tiny apples on my tree's branches

my lover hears the open wind
and crawls blinking into the sun
my mother leafs through photographs
and thinks "yes she was a lovely one"
my sister can't decide her truth
asks aloud what I might do
in a conference hall my brief efforts engraved

I died in a car crash
a lifetime ago it seems
a decade or two or three
they've come out with a new design
bars and bags front and behind
my fate now an impossibility
safely packaged hurtling down
the highway hardly make a sound

my lover very much alive
arms wrapped now around his wife

I analyze and I verify and I quantify enough
one hundred percentile
no errors, no miss
I synchronize and I specialize and I classify so much
don't worry 'bout dreaming
because I don't sleep
I wish I could at least 30 percent
maybe 50 for pleasure
then skip all the rest
if I only was more human
I would count every single second the rest of my life
if I just could be more human
I'd have so many little babies and maybe a wife
I'd roll around the mud
and have lots of fun
then when I was done
build bubblebath towers and swim in the tub
sand castles on the beach
frolic in the sea
get a broken knee
be scared of the dark and I'd sing out of key
cuss when I lost a fight
kiss and reunite
scratch a spider bite
be happy with wrinkles I got when I smiled
pet kittens til they purred
maybe keep a bird
always keep my word
I'd cry at sad movies
I'd laugh til it hurt
I'd buy a big bike
and ride by the lake
and I'd have lots of friends
and I'd stay out late
if I could just be more human
I would see every little thing with a gleam in my eye
if only I was more human
I'd embrace every single feeling that came in my life
would I care and be forgiving?
would I be sentimental and would I feel loneliness?
would I doubt and have misgivings?
would I cause someone sorrow, too?
would I know what to do?
will I cry when it's all over?
when I die will I see heaven