I
Eternaleye - I can totally see Jiraiya having a plot bunny summoning contract, though. Why do you think there are so many volumes of Icha Icha?
Phht - Because they're actually ghost written by Mikoto Uchiha, who faked her death during the Massacre and now wanders the earth perving on people with her Sharingan.
II
Zankaru:
*Quoting Phht on Naruto fashion*:
"If all three were to meet in the same place as Sakura, the youthful explosion of fashion would change the world forever.
Green spandex, with a blaring orange chunin vest, and a purple ribbon belt to top off the design. On someone with pink hair.
You may all commence clawing your eyes out in agony now."
Why phht? Why?! *bangs head against keyboard*
Phht: That does sound like my work, but I had to go find it to see the context. Now I demand art of this. Sakura Haruno, the Beautiful Scarlet Pimpernel of Oto! (feel free to change the flower name to something more appropriate, or whatever)
EDIT: Actually, make it the uniform for a sentai team. Konan, Sakura, Tayuya, Karin, and Mei. Should be enough rioting of hair color (and glasses... and sometimes horns) with the uniforms for maximum damage.
Zankaru:Ahhh! Why wont you stop? Your going to give me mental scarring!
Kirai:Hmm... so Phht is delving into weapon development.
Going for evil genius or something?
And... well I think the outfit might need a speedo for completion... and the legwarmers, don't forget the leg warmer...
You know you could add so many accessories... like a rebreather or something.
Farmer:And they all have eyebrows as thick as Lees in their respective hair colors.
Phht: I dunno about the rebreather. I kinda feel that covering up most of their faces (though that's kinda redundant with Mei) somewhat hampers the brain shattering effect of good looking ladies wearing such atrocities. No leg warmers. The shinobi-style boots they'd wear (I'm thinking something like post-skip Sakura's footwear) would need to match their hair though so the top and bottom match. Hm. Maybe something upper leg in orange? Kunai pouch on each leg with it and the bandages underneath all in the same orange as the vest?
With this design, whether they are upright or upside down, the riot of colors would still generally be the same instead of possible being decreased. And no, this isn't weapons development. Now, if I made the uniform into a seifuku style outfit while maintaining the colors, THAT would be weapons development. Particularly if I stuck it on guys.
III
I'll call it now - Hashirama and Madara were epic bros, but newly arrived hottie Mito Uzumaki tore their friendship apart as the two became rivals for her affection! Things soured further when Mito picked Hashirama over Madara, eventually leading Madara to attempt to show Mito he was better than Hashirama (which is now known as the battle at the Valley of the End). Later in life, Madara realized the tragedy caused by forgetting to put bros before hos and looked back at his times with Hashirama with regret. The entire Moon Eye plan is actually so he can "reunite" with Hashirama and have a second chance to continue the epic bromance.
IV
SLAMU - Yondiame shows up from nowhere, telling everyone that this was all a practical joke cooked up between him and Kyuubi ("The look on y'all's faces! Priceless!"), Kisame is revealed to be the man behind the man behind the throne in Akatsuki (or rather, in a shockng revelation, the woman behind the man behind the throne in Akatsuki. "Yeah, I know. I have a man's gills. I got them from my mother's side of the family. Long story.")
Phht - So Kisame really left Mist because she thought Madara was cheating on her, and their passion reignited after they met again in Akatsuki but couldn't reveal it, so Kisame got partnered with Itachi because guys with Sharingans make her hot and Madara liked teasing her?
...
Madara/Kisame, OTP.
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