Ye Olde Rumor Mill

Ye Olde Rumor Mill

Unread postby SLAMU » July 2nd, 2012, 4:59 am

Rumors, hearsay, scandelous libel and slander, and other items of pure and absolute truth! Why am I doing this? Perhaps it's to help give me ideas for RP, or to get you all more engaged. Or maybe it's a way to stop people from asking me "what does the rumor mill say about this?" (you know who you are). Perhaps it's a way to help keep people (sorta) in the loop, maybe not. Feel free to add any rumors you like, don't feel constrained by this "factual evidence" thing...it's the rumor mill! It's true whether there's facts behind it or not!

So, to start us out;

-Clara is a fairy princess held prisoner in a tall tower by an eeeeevil dragon

-Othello made a pact with a glitter elemental, his soul for power

-There is a bloodthirsty gladiatrix roaming the halls who would as soon kill you and drink your blood as say hello.

-The gladiatrix has a beastial pet, just as bad as her, she is the only one that can keep it in line. It only eats the hearts of its victems.

-the Stephanos kid got eaten by something. "Big green thing with teeth"

-the Asian Mafia and the Sons of Glitter are working together, between the two of them most of the firsties are afilliated with one or the other of them

-lies, they're gearing up for some kind of showdown

-there's a fountain where the water turns green, if you drink it it does strange things

-There's a spectre that's been haunting one of the firsties, if you can make it go away they'd be quite grateful

-Someone found a cache of magic items, they might be hitting the general market soon

-the Headmaster will be calling a student for tea soon.

-There was a skittles rainbow that appeared in a courtyard after a rain

-There is a Kool Aid Man. Pray you never meet the horror.

-The Changing Man is worse than M'Ren

-The Changing Man *is* M'Ren

-There's an older student who can (and, more to the point, will) revive people....for a price.

-There's a wave of magic coming in. No one's sure what it will do or why it's coming in, but everyone has a theory.

-The cafetira lady is a succubus

-Maria Telross is a bitch and can't be trusted!

-the friend of a friend(of a friend) swears on a stack of bibles that they saw Cloud from FF7 walking down a hall

-There's a book out there that connects to the internet.

-There's a mummy in one of the side passages, bring him (it?) fresh corpses and it will reward you

-People have stopped reporting in from one of the passages east of the chow hall, no idea why

-there's some kind of fancy dance getting set up, no one's sure why or where (or who)

-Someone named Madame Cheil bred ducks whose quacks echo, claims she "fixed the problem"

-there's a room that sounds like there's a fight going on in it, but if you look...it's empty

-There's a feild of menhir that talks sometimes, but the languages usually seem really old

-decent cooking is the single rarest skill in the entire school, followed by "able to do laundry" and "can pick up after themselves".

-You can get some moonshine from Samir and Alphonso that can help you forget you're in a shithole for a few hours at least. It might actually contain moonshine in it. If you don't speak Spanish, Italian, or Arabic, then expect to pay more.

-Magma has been showing up near some ponds and streams in the local area. The only connection anyone's managed to draw this far is that carp were found on the scene.

-The school has some sort of mind affecting aura to it; the longer you're here, the less sane you are
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Re: Ye Olde Rumor Mill

Unread postby gman391 » July 2nd, 2012, 5:04 am

The Headmaster ate Satan
"My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world."
----Jack Layton
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Re: Ye Olde Rumor Mill

Unread postby Darkandus » July 2nd, 2012, 5:07 am

The Stephanos kid was not actually eaten, but I have heard he kidnaps girls and eats them.

There's this red head girl with a spear who'll fuck you up.

There is a teacher who looks exactly like Severus Snape wandering around, unfortunately it's book version, not movie version.

There is no spoon.
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Re: Ye Olde Rumor Mill

Unread postby ewuvi » July 2nd, 2012, 5:11 am

The Headmaster is an adorable rat with a cape.
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Re: Ye Olde Rumor Mill

Unread postby Wittgen » July 2nd, 2012, 5:16 am

There's an aristocratic first year who trades sexual favors for gerbils. Something about summoning rituals.

Human hearts are always delicious and full of vitamin B, but they are especially good on the third floor for some reason.

There's a huge painting of a Greek bath on the fifth floor, up from the forest and down from the shadow mirror hall. If you walk back and forth in front of it three times thinking about how you want to get out, the painting will open up and take you to a better place.

The pen pals are an elaborate psy op being run by...
...the headmaster
...the upper years
...the first years
...that patch of really intelligent stone out west
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Re: Ye Olde Rumor Mill

Unread postby Darkandus » July 2nd, 2012, 5:19 am

The headmaster is actually a really nice guy who is being manipulated horribly by the vice headmaster.

Someone is eating souls.

Trying to summon something you just made up is the best idea ever.

There are a herd of extremely vicious carnivore cows wandering around, on the other hand their meat is delicious.

There is a pigeon who will eat your eyes if you don't greet it as sir feathersly. It is unstoppable.
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Re: Ye Olde Rumor Mill

Unread postby LifeOfGesture » July 2nd, 2012, 5:21 am

- God does not exist.

- God does exist and it was a student at Scholomance.

- There was a nutjob evangelist who made really really GOOD FOOD.

- There's a guy looking for the stuff. You know. The Stuff.

- There are love quadrangles in the air. Beware of falling pianos and tvs.

- Someone told me there's girl who keeps dying and dying and dying ...

- Don't keep typewriters. Just. Don't.

- I hear she tore someone apart with her bare hands! Or was it bear hands?

- Please stop reading the House of Leaves. Relocating the damnable places are a tremendous pain in the ass. Oh, and also you're never quite sure if you got all of it ...

- Max is a little too close with his skeletons if you know what I mean ...

- If you hear a thousand little feet behind you, run. And pray.

- Someone, and if I find out who I'm going to KILL THEM, summoned a whole flock of reproducing vuvuzela demons.

- Be on the lookout for genies. They are not Robin Williams.

- We're not all going to die.

- Be on the lookout for liches. Fucking magical girls ...

- Don't pray.
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Re: Ye Olde Rumor Mill

Unread postby gman391 » July 2nd, 2012, 5:23 am

In the dead of the night the darkness will find you, it wants to have tea

There is a fairy who's job is to get everyone to fall in love. It wars with a fairy with the job to make sure no one has love.

They really can tell if it's not butter.

The Philosophers are actually two sects pretending to be rivals.
"My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world."
----Jack Layton
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Re: Ye Olde Rumor Mill

Unread postby Darkandus » July 2nd, 2012, 5:34 am

The firstie Stephanos will murder you if you bring up skeletons in the same sentence as bed.

Maria Coad is lying.

Maria Coad is not lying.

There is no such thing as enough fire.

There is a firstie Sorcerer who is already powerful and depraved enough to make a tentacle demon out of fire, it is assumed she has something against Japanese schoolgirls.
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Re: Ye Olde Rumor Mill

Unread postby SLAMU » July 2nd, 2012, 3:36 pm

-If you put a skeleton in the Stephanos' bed, you'll be greatly rewarded

-the rats have organized (and might be lead by the headmaster)

-There is a magical talking walking stick that can help you with your endevors. However, it seems to talk with a New Jersey accent (or maybe it's Bronx), and does gender flips. ("Dis staff here....")

-The Headmaster has gone insane, but is too powerful for anyone to remove him

-The Headmaster is a girl

-The Headmaster is a myth

-The myth that is the Headmaster is, in fact, a centaur(...trying to one up that ass Chiron)

-The Headmaster is a gerbil

-There's a Romanov heir looking for a way to undo what Rasputin did to them

-There's some really metal shit going down, man. I mean, it's like the cover for Molly Hatchet over there and stuff!

-There's some loonie firstie insisting that people address him as "the moderately high warlock something or another", he's a little...off

-If you set up a table for two outdoors and light a candle and sit at it, after a while there's a violinist that will play either sad (if one person is sitting at the table) or romantic (if there's two) music. This violinist disapears before too long though

-Someone summoned Candleja-
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Re: Ye Olde Rumor Mill

Unread postby gman391 » July 3rd, 2012, 8:54 pm

-There's a secret cult of pony worshiping madmen known as 'bronies' deep in the bowels of Scholomance. Even the Headmaster fears them.

-Someone made Cthulu into a guard dog.

-Zeus still can't keep it in his pants as some upper years can attest.

-Thor throws the best keggers ever.

-Afternoon Tea is sacred to a small group of people. Interfere with it at your peril.

-Someone summoned Hypno---ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNO TOAD!
"My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world."
----Jack Layton
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Re: Ye Olde Rumor Mill

Unread postby SLAMU » July 4th, 2012, 2:47 am

-ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNO TOAD
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Re: Ye Olde Rumor Mill

Unread postby serbii » July 6th, 2012, 7:33 pm

-There is a woman who seems to take great pleasure in teaching 'life lessons' to firsties. Pay attention and show no fear.

-Cheeseburgers and loneliness are a dangerous mix

-Sorry ladies, the tentacle monster is already truly, madly, deeply with someone else. One of them anyway.

-There is a spell that gives your life theme music
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Re: Ye Olde Rumor Mill

Unread postby LifeOfGesture » July 7th, 2012, 6:01 am

- Don't let a vampire lick you. The problem is, you want more.

- A group of thugs attacked a lone girl and nearly killed her. Be on the lookout.

- There's a necromancer nymphomaniac who's insistent on controlling his harem. Fortunately, the horoscope says change comes quickly ...

- There's a group of pyromancer arsonists who enjoy burning people alive.

- In his/her spare time, the Headmaster does matchmaking.

- The Brady Bunch are moving into the old Brady Bunch home. Brrr.

- Transformers in disguise did a huge operation and found the Allspark! Hurrah!

- Ancell and Kirana are deeply and madly in love.

- Pssst. I heard two people are now an item. Though I'm not sure if that means literally or metaphorically.

- Ancell and Othello are madly and deeply in love.

- M'ren is a mereman! Hence, the name.

- Benjamin is dead!

- People are potting. Potting your graves.

- Elizabeth made a deal with a succubus, her soul for ULTIMATE SEDUCING POWER.

- Max made a deal with a zombie. No one wants to know.
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Re: Ye Olde Rumor Mill

Unread postby SLAMU » July 7th, 2012, 6:44 am

-Shawn got stoned and doesn't want anyone to know, so there's this big coverup

-The Headmaster doesn't do matchmaking in his/her spare time; (s)he runs the school when (s)he's not busy setting people up for a match (of some sort)

-There's some sort of ape in the library. It's quite helpful if you bribe it with bananas

-There's supposedly a scale for rating how nice dragons are, ranging from "Puff" to "Smaug"

-There's a radio station someone's broadcasting on, it has some helpful tips...it also seems to be run by a crackpot

-There's a drunk lady that you can bribe (she doesn't care about labels so much as how likely it is to kill her off via alchohol poisoning) to see the future for you

-magic 8 balls seem to have something to them here

-There's someone you can play poker with, gambling years of your life. You win some, you lose some.

-There's a sale on ribbons and lace at the market

-maudlin sphinx wants another round, barkeep says that he's at his limit

-Sir Feathersly claimed another victem.

-T Shirt sales of various witty (and not so witty) sayings are up. Mostly they seem to deal in innuendo

-Furniture made of sapient pearwood is in the highest quality, but also psychotically loyal to its owner.

-That guy looking for the Stuff, he thinks you might have it. Yeah, you.

-There's a cabal of Canadians manipulating events from behind the scenes

-A friend of a friend of a girlfriend's roommate's distant cousin Terrance claims that "there's something to this spandex stuff after all"

-There's a room with a karaoke stage set up. It is fully functional.

-There's a gym locker room that brings back those memories you suppressed (if you've ever had them to begin with) of tyrannical gym teachers being 100% unreasonable. ("It's just a little hail, never hurt anyone! Keep running, it builds character! Only two more miles!")

-There's a group of kids that claim that they were being chased by a Snatcher Golem only to be saved by a miraculously timed avalance...of pesto sauce
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Re: Ye Olde Rumor Mill

Unread postby Darkandus » July 7th, 2012, 2:54 pm

There is a knight that rides through the hallways on a unicorn while playing a guitar and singing a stirling rendition of Knights of Cydonia by Muse. If you need to be rescued in a suitably dramatic fashion and he's nearby you may be in luck.

When in doubt, overkill.

There is a Firstie who is adept in all branches of magic use but hopelessly bad at making their own spells, no imagination.

This is not like one of your Japanese Animes, now shut up, I'm trying to make a ninja cyborg.

The velociraptors escaped, fortunately they weren't the Jurassic Park versions.

There's a second year who looks the spitting image of Luke Atmey from those Ace Attorney games. In fact, he's about as egotistical and attention seeking too. Makes you think.

For some reason Upper years always seem to rock a stylistic nobility look, unless they specifically avoid it by going the monster route, common theory is it's linked to the insanity Scholomance causes. So many suits, dresses and stupid outfits...

If you ever hear the safety dance song you best start dancing. You'll thank me when you make it out alive. God damn insane upper years.

There is a certain room in a certain hallway in a certain wing of Scholomance. Within is the greatest therapist in the multiverse, one session and they will cure you of any insanity or mental flaw.

There is a swimming pool near one of the natural parks. You ever seen the Video for DyE- Fantasy? Yeah, stay the hell out of that god damn pool.

There are a lot of blocked up rooms in scholomance. They're blocked for good reason...there may be wealth and glory locked away behind those walls, but there is also the death of all you love and hold dear.

That Elizabeth girl who disappeared for a while is back, but she's a ninja or something now. No-one knows if she still does the awesome pasta, but she has an awesome ass.
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Re: Ye Olde Rumor Mill

Unread postby serbii » July 8th, 2012, 5:47 am

-There is a pack of intelligent, claustrophobic dachshunds wandering around, they're pretty ok.

-The rottweiler hive mind is not.

-Showing some leg is statistically proven to be the best possible response to 2.6% of all life threatening situations.

-Harems are a nice idea, but unless they're broken in slaves things tend to get messy quickly. Not in the good way.

-Winter is coming.

-The Rasputin heir is looking for a way to undo what the what the aristocracy did to him. They don't get along too well with the Romonovs.

-The economy is run by gypsies.

-The economy is run by children who have had too much red cordial.

-The economy is run by no one and everyone just pretends like they know what the heck they're doing.

-There is a small, androgynous child of about 4 years old sometimes seen wandering the halls in a big cosy coat. He/her has a loooooot of older relatives around. Doesn't matter how much you need a child sacrifice, you're better off steering clear of this one.

-18% of first year would be slave owners are killed by their purchases within the first three months

-You can't beat city hall

-There's a second year girl with curly black hair and a white streak in her fringe setting up as an info broker in the area.

-The Stephanos kid follows around the Gladiatrix and her beast to take the remains of their victims for his harem.

-There are ways to increase your mastery, or get another one, or increase your mana pool, or recover it faster and so at a younger age than you should. But it takes something dramatic and no one can really find a process that works consistently.
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Re: Ye Olde Rumor Mill

Unread postby Aldraia Dragonsong » July 10th, 2012, 4:13 pm

Maximilian killed Shawn and replaced him with a zombie.

Ancell has been replaced by an Eldritch Abomination.

We are all dead, and this is the afterlife's waiting room.

No one actually graduates, they just die.

Somewhere, there is a gate that leads back to the real world. If you go through it, you get to spend one day there, just to screw with you, before someone drags you back.

There is a place where it snows eternally onto a floor made out of fire.

Shannon can kill you just by glaring.

The faculty are actually homunculi maintained by the Headmaster.

The faculty are actually the Headmaster in disguise.

Eating candy gives you superpowers.

Across from the greatest therapist ever, there is a person who can break any mind and will gleefully do so to anyone who walks through their door.
Random Scholomance Quote of However Long It Takes Me To Get Bored of the Last One:
“Ancell: respecting personal boundaries to the detriment of his friends since 1993.” ~bookworm702
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Re: Ye Olde Rumor Mill

Unread postby SLAMU » July 12th, 2012, 11:21 pm

-There's some joker named Doomrider saying he needs more fuel for his motercycle

-You can get a motercycle that runs on really weird stuff, like music from an electric guitar or hormones. It's up for trade if you feel like riding a motercycle through the halls

-There's a short guy that's about 80% beard that offers "100% elf bone necklaces" in exchange for stuff. Not sure what the deal is with that, but seems like he likes cats

-There's someone who found access to the internet on their computer

-There's this stuff called "voodoo thinning powder", great for diets

-Snoring is the #1 cause of getting beaten up with a pillow by sleep deprived room mates

-ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNO TOAD
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Re: Ye Olde Rumor Mill

Unread postby gman391 » July 14th, 2012, 7:23 am

-There is a malevolent force that destroys friendships and breaks all bonds. It's found in the school's coffee bean supply

-the Headmaster uses it for his personal coffee and decided to share the wealth

- Heaven's Feel was an experiment by bored ninth years

- Somewhere deep in the bowels of the School lays a crying child. It tries to eat your soul

-The first graduate of Scholomance was Cain

-Vampires are considered a delicacy by upper years

-Vecna was a student of the School

-The Headmaster loves Beanie Babies and accepts them as bribes.
"My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world."
----Jack Layton
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Re: Ye Olde Rumor Mill

Unread postby serbii » July 14th, 2012, 11:08 am

-The Headmaster loves Beanie Babies and accepts them as bribes.
- Woe befall you if you give him one he already has
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Re: Ye Olde Rumor Mill

Unread postby Aldraia Dragonsong » July 14th, 2012, 9:29 pm

-The Headmaster loves Beanie Babies and accepts them as bribes.
- Woe befall you if you give him one he already has.
-Or a counterfeit.

There is a ghost toddler who will crawl towards you, crying. If you let it touch you, you die. It means no harm, but will still kill you.

There is a potion that can cure anything. One of the first-years has a poor man's substitute.

If the wording of your verbal mitigators indicates something other than what you actually want the spell to do, the spell is twice as likely to go awry.

Saints are very nice people, but they do not take kindly to being dragged out of Heaven on the whims of some punk teenagers.

Somewhere in the school, there is a church/temple/whatever for every religion imaginable. Even the faculty generally leave them alone, because messing with deities is a pain.
Random Scholomance Quote of However Long It Takes Me To Get Bored of the Last One:
“Ancell: respecting personal boundaries to the detriment of his friends since 1993.” ~bookworm702
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Re: Ye Olde Rumor Mill

Unread postby Darkandus » July 15th, 2012, 2:12 am

-This is all a game played for the amusement of higher order beings so great and powerful even the Headmaster and the Gods combined cannot effect even the slightest wound or ill upon them. Fear them, for they have chosen avatars of their will who have potential far greater than any nameless and unnoticed person. It is only by the will of the one known as MU and SLAA'M'ZEE that they are restrained.

-Tzeentch and the Headmaster often play chess together.

-Summoning Batman is never the correct response.

-Pirates are a legitimate problem in Southeast Scholomance, only their rivalry with the lost viking nations provide temporary respite.

-If you make an unguarded portal to the moon you deserve what you get.

-Never drink and conjure.

-The words "It seemed like a good idea at the time" when used in relation to magic are indeed a good excuse, but not in the sense of getting you out of trouble, more giving someone a reason to kill you purely out of self defence.
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Re: Ye Olde Rumor Mill

Unread postby gman391 » July 20th, 2012, 7:28 am

-Santa Clause is real, he graduated from Scholomance centuries ago.

-Thoth has been known to dabble with the first years when he's bored.

-Never ever get between Dionysus and a Kegger, at best you become a dryad. At worse...you know those weird mushrooms the size of your fist? Yeah

-The song 'Somebody's Watching Me' was written after the singer was shadowed by a bored mage for a few days

-Walt Disney tried to make a movie about Scholomance but the still's burned to ash even as they were made

-The Force is with you. Unfortunately it's also with everyone else.
"My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world."
----Jack Layton
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Re: Ye Olde Rumor Mill

Unread postby Aldraia Dragonsong » July 23rd, 2012, 1:02 pm

-The better your front door is guarded, the more holes there are in the back.

-Secretly, 98% of all students have been mindcrushed and are being controlled by the Headmaster. Their seeming opposition to each other is merely a ruse to amuse him. No one knows how he picks which students to spare.

-You will be assimilated.

-There is an imp that runs around leaving socks in random places. Just because.

-Somewhere in the northeast quadrant, there is a fountain of immortality.

-Resistance is futile.

-The Headmaster is a vampire.

-Never try to cheat a spirit. They get nasty about breaches of contract.
Random Scholomance Quote of However Long It Takes Me To Get Bored of the Last One:
“Ancell: respecting personal boundaries to the detriment of his friends since 1993.” ~bookworm702
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