Well, a couple of weeks ago, Joe sent me a small continuity error he’d spotted in NoFP, and that was the straw that broke the camel’s back. Folks have sent me a few things over the past year or so – nothing that major, but little niggling things that bugged me once I realized they were there.
So now that the dromedary is in traction, I’m going back through my master manuscript and fixing them. Once I started doing that I saw a few wording issues that made me cringe. I suppose it’s a good thing – if they are obvious to me now, then it means I have grown as a wordsmith since I started this project. (Or maybe just the fact that I’m using more betas!) But it also means I now feel compelled to go back through the whole damn thing and clean it up a bit.
So what does this mean for my readers and why am I bothering you with this minutae? Well, for one, I felt I should explain part of the lack of quick progress on the next chapter. (The other thing is the issue I seem to have with middles of stories – it’s sort of like a roller coaster ratcheting it’s way up a steep grade…) Also, if you have spotted a continuity error or typo, now is the time to email me. Please try to quote the exact wording in that section – if I can use a search feature this goes a lot faster.
As for continuity issues, I promise not to snap at anyone if you try to practice a bit of due diligence. That means not telling me that Ginny’s real name is Virginia, or that Professor Emeritus Slughorn’s first name should be Horace, not Emeritus. (Hint, Emeritus is a title, not a name.)
The going has been slower than I expected, and this might add a day or two to the process, but I think a more polished story is worth it. When I’m done and the emails tail off, I’ll start re-uploading the chapters – which should be loads of fun!
The only continuity issue I can remember is the first letter to Ginny. As you changed points of view it changed between morning and evening.
You may have already fixed this. With my computer problems, I’ve read on my old computer, current computer and re-downloaded using deffnet and I’ve confused myself with the various versions.
Er, do you mean the first letter to her or from her?
I think I have to agree ‘huh’?
I myself prefer quality over quickness, yes I know I gripe and bitch about the time *grins* But I have to admit I’m never let down with the quality of the story.
The delivery of his first letter to her.
Her letter back says she received it friday night. (ch 4)
Later (ch 9) on she comes down the stairs and after retrieving the letter she says good morning to her Mom see’s Hedwig, retrieves the letter and asks if she can give her a piece of bacon.
Ginny’s viewpoint (ch 17) doesn’t mention a time, just that Hedwig had showed up.
It seems to me that he sent the letter on friday. Since we don’t know how long it takes Hedwig to fly to the Burrow, having it arrive on saturday morning is fine. That way you really only need to eliminate or change two words in chapter 4.
Well, this doesn’t count as a continuity issue. But i think u r wrong that Remus Lupin knew not even a word of Occlumency or Legilimency. He was certainly aware of the art two years ago(in POA) if he could tell Harry what a great Occlumens Sanpe was in OotP, wasn’t he?
He must have know that Dumbledore was an Occlumens AND a Legilimens all along!
In chp. 31 u write, “I’m sorry we had to conceal things from you,” Mr. Weasley apologized, “but it was necessary if you were going to be teaching at Hogwarts.”
“How so?” Remus asked.
“Even if you wanted to keep it to yourself,” Harry spoke up, “Professor Snape would have pulled that information right out of your head, using Legilimency.”
Remus’ eyes widened in alarm.
and
“This Legilimency business seems very questionable to me,” Remus said. “But it appears I have little choice but to learn Occlumency if I wish to teach at Hogwarts and keep my thoughts to myself.”
will u please notify if i am wrong???
I quote: That means not telling me that Ginny’s real name is Virginia, or that Professor Emeritus Slughorn’s first name should be Horace, not Emeritus. (Hint, Emeritus is a title, not a name.)
That paragraph confused me a bit…I know that Slughorn’s name is Horace, but the wording almost makes it sound as if Ginny’s real name is Virginia…which it’s not. It’s still Ginevra.
Sorry, just wanted to point that out. The wording seems a bit confusing to me…^^;;
Anyhow, I’m sure people will understand that you’re not updating because you want to correct things that bug you. Quality is important, especially to the author, himself, so don’t let impatient people annoy you. I like most of your stories so far, and while I definitely would like nothing more than for all of them to be completed, I understand very well that such a thing takes time. ^^
Eh, nevermind, I understood it now. Sorry, I can’t think properly right now. ^^
Hi from your Australia fans …… we were chatting about this …. we just love the story …. we will wait ….. we don’t worry so much about any really small glitches …. we just love the whole, total picture you have made with this idea…..we think it is a corker of a story.
To Jack…
Meh Details.
I’ve been a fan for a long time. I haven’t reviewed which was negligent of me. When I re-read for the fifth time I’ll register at PheonixSong and review.
Only a couple of things have stuck out for me and I’m not sure if they’re continuity errors or if that’s something that will come up in the future or what but as you’ve asked I thought I’d mention it as it had bothered me while reading.
Ok first one chapter 31 Harsh words
—-
“How so?” Remus asked.
“Even if you wanted to keep it to yourself,” Harry spoke up, “Professor Snape would have pulled that information right out of your head, using Legilimency.”
Remus’ eyes widened in alarm.”
—-
By the first time they have met Remus Snape has already been removed from the school so he would no longer be an issue unless there was another reason for not telling him about Sirius.
Also in that chapter Sirius gives Harry the bag of horcruxes. Now as far as I can tell they are then not brought up again. Is it implied that they have been destroyed and are now no longer an issue or is that something Harry still has to do and part of a future plot point.
That’s it really. I don’t recall any other errors but then the mind automatically tries to make information fit what you know so it’s easy to miss things, particularly small things as you just assume it will be in line.
Thanks for the awesome story. I don’t mind how often you update as long as I know there will be an update some point in the future, however many weeks or months it takes. It’s always worth it. This story is better than most published novels and I personally choose to reread it rather than picking up a published book. Thank you.
I’ve got one for you about the bat-bogey hex. In chapter four (counting the prologue as chapter one), Ginny says “You ought to hex him good! I can teach you one that I use on my brothers. It’s called the bat-bogey hex and it’s really, really gross what it does to people.” in a letter.
In chapter 15, she says “I found this spell written on the flyleaf of one of Uncle Gideon’s old schoolbooks. It’s called the Bat-Bogey Hex and it sounds absolutely gruesome… I figure I might try that out on them.”
Spymaster: good catch.
Although … even if out of Hogwarts, Snape is still a danger, especially given how he totally loathes Remus and the fact that he is not required to be collegial towards a fellow professor—who’s also now closely tied with the Boy-Who-Got-Him-Fired.
We must presume that Dumbledore extracted a promise from Snape not to rat out Remus’ “furry little problem” before DD hired the latter, otherwise things could get nasty….
The bigger problem is what Arthur says prompting this ust before what you quoted:
“I’m sorry we had to conceal things from you,” Mr. Weasley apologized, “but it was necessary if you were going to be teaching at Hogwarts.”
That more strongly implies a Hogwarts issue vs. the general one of Remus the Professor returning to Wizarding society where he might bump into Snape at Hogsmeade or wherever. Note that Arthur and Harry want to maintain the highest level of operational security possible by not letting Remus know that there’s a *much* bigger and more important secret than the status of Sirius.
Also, in this non-DH compliant AU of NoFP, Harry is working on the assumption that Snape is not working for Dumbledore as I recall, plus it would be double plus ungood if Voldemort managed to get it out of Snape’s mind….
– Harold
There was something I always thought was an error, but looking closer it might not be. Chapter 1 states Harry started traveling alone about a year before the war ended, placing Ron’s death there, and a flashback in Chapter 23 to the time when Harry was on his own after Ron’s death refers to Harry’s Invisibility Cloak being lost “years ago.” Then, when we see Ron’s death in Chapter 28, Harry says Ron put his cloak over him.
Now, it never specifically states that it’s the Invisibility Cloak that Ron uses at that point, but it is definitely implied, and if it was lost “years ago” they wouldn’t have had it that late in the timeline.
I know it’s a minor point, but I did notice it, though I needed a bunch of searching to track down the exact references. Only noticed it because I was sorry to hear they’d lost it (though it makes perfect sense that they’d lose track of it at some point) and was surprised to see it show up again that much later.
Never noticed the time of day that Ginny got Harry’s first letter, though.
Was just wondering how we were doing progress-wise as I haven’t seen any movement in quite a while.
BTW: I was wondering, have you heard anything at all from Ruskbyte? His stories have been dead now for almost 2 years, which is a pity as his work is some of the best of on the site. I particularly liked his Grim adventures crossover, albeit a bit to long but funny nonetheless. I would love to see his work continued.
Have you ever considered redoing, or doing a newer version of Nightmares, but using the canon? Would be interesting to see your take on JKR’s final books, older Harry with the Elder wand –shivers-
Thanks for the comments everyone!
Jack, that is one of the continuity errors that started this whole process. *grin*
Prongsy – I think it’s a safer assumption that Remus’ knowledge in OOtP came from Dumbledore after he told them what they planned to do in order to protect Harry from the visions. I imagine both he and Sirius required some persuading to get them to support this course of action with Harry. If Remus had known about Legilimency at the climax of PoA, he could have demanded Snape use it to verify Sirius’ innocence. (Snape might have refused, but its the kind of reasonable course of action Remus would suggest.) And if he’d known of Dumbledore’s legilimency, he’d have known that the Marauders accompanied him on his monthly forays with Dumbledore’s complete knowledge.
Spymaster: Er, actually they first met Remus Lupin during the summer between First and Second year, when Snape was still teaching. They were also being a little coy with respect to Dumbledore.
Harry hasn’t destroyed the Big Bag o’ Horcrux yet because it’s bloody dangerous. From the prologue, he’s only guessing what triggered the Hogwarts Massacre, so it’s safer to nuke them all at once.
Kyadytim – That’s one of the slips that prompted this – it’s addressed on my master document.
HGA – Again, they’re being coy about Dumbledore without coming out and saying it. Remus is good at subtle, and would know from them that the Headmaster isn’t completely in their confidence. (The Dursleys, not raising complete and utter hell about Sirius, etc…)
Mr. Sinister – Ruskbyte has started a new story on FanFicAuthors.net. Also, while the plotline diverged a bit from DH’s history, it’s still factually compliant for the most part. As I said in an Author’s Note, Snape and Draco were found out and killed before Harry saw them again, so he has no idea of Snape’s real motivations thus far. The Hallows were interesting in Book 7, but they were basically a red herring in the greater scheme of things, distracting Harry from his true role in Dumbledore’s scheme. Seeking the Elder Wand did keep Voldemort busy for a while, at least…
Yup, I remember that.
*nods*
Yes, also I saw the story fanfic as well, but I really want to see some of his older stuff completed, it’s a pity he’s an amazing writer.
Good to see yer still alive *winks*
There’s one thing that has been bugging me for a little bit that I wasn’t sure if I should put in a review or if it counts as a continuity error. It’s essentially explained that the whole link between Harry and Voldemort is because Harry counts as a Horcrux but when you did the Author’s Notes about what would change due to DH you said that Harry’s older self merging with his younger self effectively removed that part of Voldemort’s soul from him. Now I can still see Harry being able to speak Parsletongue without being a Horcrux if only through memory but how does that count for him still having that link with Voldemort as shown partly through the scar twinges while waiting for Quirrell’s assault on the Sorcerer’s Stone?
I found some minor “errors”, I think.
After their return from King’s Cross Molly pauses outside Ginny’s door before knocking. Later it is said somewhere that she knocks on Ginny’s door again.— Yet later when Harry knocks on her door to help her with her trunk and comes in to see an almost naked Ginny, she sais that she shouldn’t be szurprised, since her mother never bothered to knock…
So, unless she really DID this deliberately…
Another thing, Hagrid tells the students about covering for Molly and Arthur with “old Ogg”, but when Molly remembers the night when Hagrid covered for them, it suddenly is Filch Hagrid hid them from…
Nothing big, I know, but since you’re on it…
All in all, I have to say, I absolutely love your story, and as eager as I am to read the next chapter(s), please take your time and keep up the superb quality!
Another thing:
In chapter 33 Harry mentions Lupin’s (correct) name to Dobby, yet later Dobby calls him “Loopy” and claims to have heard the name from Peeves…
Did someone already mention: When Harry was going to go to Gringotts (end of ch 13) and Mr Weasley said he’d take him. At the beginning of Chapter 14, before they go to bed Mrs. Weasley says she is going to accompany Harry. The next morning (about 1/4 in the chapter) at breakfast she explains that she is going to take Harry because Arthur had to go into work.
While that kind of works, the explanation as to why they switched should either be with the first change or just change the original so Mrs. Weasley is taking him.
Hope all the redo work is going along smoothly!
Hi,
I never intendet to mention this, but as you asked about little things, I’ll put in here. You write in the middle of your story, when they go home for Christmas, that the train was cold because it stood in the station for so long. And Molly says there is only heat when the train is running. I’m sorry to say that’s crap. The Hogwarts express is run by a steam engine, as long as train is connected to the engine it’ll be warm. Because a steam engine can’t bee cooled down (or heated up) fastly. So there will be heat and pressure on both kettles, and thus enough hot-water steam to heat the train. I asked my brother, who used to work on trains still run by steam-engines some odd twenty years ago, and he told me exactly the same. So perhaps you can chip in the line, that the engine was sperated from the train for security reasons while the train was searched. Nevertheless the moment it was reconnected with the train, the train would get warm, because steam-engines usually manage to heat up a train pretty fast.
I know this sounds unusual when one is used to the slow heat-up from electic engines or diesels, but that’s the way it is. I wouldn’t have wondered about this one, had I not seen (and felt) myself how a steam-engine warms up a train on a frozen winter’s day.
But that was truly the only little nitpick I ever spotted and I greatly enjoy reading your story.
Hey, not sure if you check reviews for old chapters on ffa.net, so I thought I’d just tell you that I’ve been rereading recently and making a point of pointing out any errors I saw in reviews.
I forgot how much I enjoy this story. The super long, convoluted nature of the story as it stands have made reading new chapters fun, of course, but not very satisfying. (Lack of follow up on foreshadowing is frustrating, though the payoff will be huge when the plot finally does get to the follow up.) But reading it again reminds me of how lucky I am that this was the first HP fic I ever read. Happy writing!
I had a question about Harry’s money. Near the end of Chapter Christmas at Hogwarts and a Draconian Solution, it says, “In the end, Harry agreed to supply Peeves with an entire case of Dungbombs, which would pretty much empty his money pouch after Fred and George’s next Hogsmeade visit.” However, in Chapter End of Year One, he has enough money to give to Ron and Neville to purchase two wands.
*cough* nudge *cough*
YES!! The progress bar moved up 1%!
Well, I hope I don’t make a fool out of myself with these…
*end of Chapter 8, when HRH return to King’s Cross after 1st year, Harry takes the night Bus back to Surrey. It’s somewhat implied that Molly decides on the spot to accompany him (and again in Chapter 9).
But, in Chapter 23, when they arrive at King’s Cross for Christmas Break, Molly decides on the spot to accompany Luna home on the Knight bus, but Harry thinks to himself “It was the first time Harry had heard Molly Weasley advocate splurging on something like that.”
And also at the same time in Chapter 23, it’s pretty strongly implied that that the Anglia is left at King’s Cross (“He suspected she wasn’t as comfortable driving a Muggle automobile as her husband…”). but there’s no mention made later of going to retrieve it.
*At end of Chapt 13, Arthur says Harry can go to Gringott’s with him. BUT, at beginning of 14, Mrs. Weasley announced it was time they went to sleep, especially since Harry needed to be up early to accompany **her** to Diagon Alley. That’s 5 pages before she announces the change.
*When Arthur and Harry visit Sirius in Azkaban, Harry thinks to himself that Sirius spent a year on the run…Wasn’t it 2 years on the run? The year of PoA, and the year of GoF.
*End of Chapter 22 – when Harry wakes up aboard the Hogwarts Express on the way home to the Burrow for Chistmas – the writing states that all four of the others are asleep (“Thank Merlin everyone else is asleep…Harry shushed her before she could wake the others”). This is again implied at the beginning of Chapter 23 (“Ron and Hermione were starting to stir…The shuffling and coughing awoke Neville as well… Luna was still curled up on his lap, dead to the world.”)
However, also at the end of 22, it implies that Hermione and Neville are awake – “Hermione didn’t seem to be disturbed by that. Luna was curled up on Neville’s lap, but for once he didn’t look petrified. Instead, he was faintly smiling…”
*In Chapter 23, when Harry is talking to Sirius in the shed, and they’re referring to Remus’s death, Sirius says that “I’m glad he and Tonks got together…”. However, *this* Sirius wouldn’t have known Tonks (at least, not as an adult) and most likely would not have talked about her so casually.
*When Harry kills the Basilisk, he says “This makes five times now”. Are you counting each spirit separately? Twice as a baby (once for each spirit), twice as a first year (ditto), now twice as a second year, once at the end of GoF, and once at the end of OotP.
*When Harry is confessing in the CoS, isn’t it a stinging *hex* (as it says in the actual Quirell/Fluffy scene in Chapter 7)? Not a stinging *charm*?
*Also in the CoS:
That Diary wasn’t from you, was it?” she asked.
Harry hesitated, but still nodded. “I had it locked up in my trunk.
Shouldn’t that be “shook his head” instead of “nodded”?
*Later, in Dumbledore’s office, after the Malfoys leave, Harry seems to get off awfully easy. It seems to me that there are lots of questions Dumbledore and McGonagall didn’t ask – like, how did Harry know Ginny was in the Chamber? How did he know where it was? (If I was Dumbledore, I don’t think I would have bought the ‘dream’ excuse.) How did he know how to open it? What was he doing out of the Hospital Wing just moments after waking up?
Despite these minor matters, I can’t wait for the next update!
Darkflame – psychosomatic. The memories of those pains are so strong that he feels them when placed in identical circumstances. Not unheard of from people suffering PTSD. It also doesn’t help that merged-Harry was actively looking for any sign of it – and he wasn’t aware that he was at one time a horcrux, so he just thinks it’s the curse-scar.
Phil42 – Ginny exaggerates a bit concerning her mother’s lack of regard for privacy. She was also trying to make Harry feel a little less embarassed by claiming it was her fault. You’re also right about Molly deliberately knocking on the door after Kings Cross – Molly and Ginny’s relationship isn’t as close as Molly would like, so once they were alone in the house, she decided to be a little extra considerate since now there was no one else there to act as a buffer. Also, the Flich reference has already been removed. (I haven’t posted the revisions yet, as I’m still polishing.) Finally, Dobby is waaay too trusting and Peeves took advantage of that to ‘correct his pronunciation’…
Jack-A-Roe – It was always Mrs. Weasley, but reading that sentence I realized the wording is a little ambiguous, so I fixed it.
Valandhir – You’re also assuming the Hogwarts Express is totally mundance steam train, rather than something rigged up to look like one to fool any muggles who might accidentally see it. Given the wizarding world’s slackness on certain details, they probably just didn’t bother hooking up the steam heat conduits, reasoning that the passengers will just use warming charms if they get cold. Given the inefficiencies of the Floo network, this seems consistent with the theme. *grin*
Jizzle – yes, I know. People are still waiting for the Glock. It’s in the outline too.
Periskyye – Harry had a lot of galleons in there at first. Pretty much emptied is accurate in the way that down to my last fifteen dollars is the same as ‘nearly broke’. If it’s confusing people I’ll soften the wording though.
jblakew – Well, the original plan was to just take the Floo, but Molly decided to take the Knight Bus so she could keep an eye on Luna, who she was worried was too young to travel alone. Originally Molly was to take Harry, but that sentence was a little ambiguous regarding who was talking, so it’s been clarified. Fixed the Sirius timeline. Hermione and Neville were still asleep – your face can show emotions while you are sleeping – and both of them were particularly comfortable (moreso than they would have been if they were awake). Harry told Sirius about Tonks, and Sirius would have known her when she was young – especially since her mother seemed to be one of the few older relatives Sirius would have tolerated. Harry was counting times HE has killed Voldemort: 2 Quirrells, 2 diaries, and at the end of the future timeline. Harry didn’t kill Voldemort in GOF or OOTP, and he isn’t counting when he was an infant – that was Lily’s doing. Changed charm to hex. Harry was agreeing with Ginny, but the wording is unclear, so I changed it.
As for Dumbledore, Harry has cultivated a reputation for awful nightmares and prophetic dreams (remember his original excuse regarding Sirius) that serves him well. If a complete fraud like Trelawney can turn out to be a true seer, then why can’t the Boy Who Survived The Killing Curse? Also, at the time, Albus had bigger headaches – like what to do about Severus Snape.
And if it wasn’t clear from the remarks made – Wizarding Healers have a salve they can apply to the major muscle groups that prevents comatose patients from suffering muscle atrophy from extended inaction. This preparation works far better than the crude electrostimulation methods employed by Muggle healers and explains why Harry was able to get around as well as he did. With potions around like the Draught of Living Death, they better have ways to keep long-term sleepers from becoming crippled.
I’m also whittling away on the writers block and making some progress on chapter 36, as you can all see. It’s still fighting me though…
Aweosme, good to know your still about, and its good to see the bar move up a notch, and yeah I know writers block is a bitch 😀
I like the answers, fills in some blanks… which by the way is a biiiiiiiig job. Damn JKR, screwing up the timeline *growls*
O.K.
Who am I kidding, this story is amazing! (raving fannishness will now be surpressed)
But I did notice a little problem no one else noticed (I think). In Chapter 20, Paragraph 18 (or therabouts)Dumbledore speaks of the long term effects of surviving the killing curse. How would he know of such effects, when Harry is the only known case of such survival (as stated by Mad-Eye Moody in GoF during the first DADA lesson the golden trio has.
In Chapter 22, Furnunculus is described as an orange color, but unless I am very much mistaken it is described as green in canon (Didn’t check goblet of Fire for it but it is in Ch 18 and Ch 37)
In one of my (multiple) rereadings, I caught something halfway through Chapter 25, but for the life of me I can’t remember what it is right now. Read the middle third to double check, but if I remember what it is I will post again.
Keep it up (also with Team 8, love the ending of Chapter 14 with Naruto vs. Sasuke)
Oh yeah, when McGonagall is calling out Duumbledore for banning Harry from the team, she says Voldemort. This is qutie different from canon, and I fail to see how Harry’s changes would have affected her to such a degree. Please explain.
Hi, from Australia, just a little note to let you know Matthew that we are still watching and waiting (patiently) for the next chapter. Also a message to tammy369, you will have to be incharge of our Harry Potter thread, I cannot post for another two months. Matthew, there is a group of us loving your story.
Chapter 16: A visit to Sunny Azkaban
Mrs. Weasley was just cleaning up from the midday meal. “Auror Shacklebolt!” she exclaimed with a smile. “Can I get you a cuppa?”
“Not right now, Molly,” Arthur said in a loud voice. He looked over at Ron, who was helping stack dishes along with Ginny. “Is Scabbers upstairs?”
“Yeah, in my room,” he answered, but frowned, “Why Dad?”
Arthur nodded to Kingsley “Top of the stairs,” he said then turned back to his son. “There’s a nasty bit of magical distemper going around, affecting rats and some other types of pets,” he explained in that loud voice again. “Kingsley is with the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures. I asked him to check Scabbers and make sure he isn’t infected.”
~~
Use of the word exclaimed means Molly just anouced rather loudly that Kingsley was an Auror, also I believe he was the one who took their statments after Harry ended up in the hospital. Yet Ron showed no confusion when his father lied about Kingsley’s position in the ministry.
I wondered if maybe you’d write another peice of your HP short story? Perhaps that will help fight the writers block?
Greybane – Dumbledore was theorizing. That’s a hefty jolt of dark magic to whack a baby with, and even if they survive, having a closed off mind sort of makes sense. (The magical equivalent of an over-developed flinch reflex in an abused child.)
Furnunculus doesn’t have a described colour in canon.
And MacGonagall did stumble a little over using Voldemort’s name, even in a private conversation. It’s also a little embarassing to use the euphemism when she knows that the 12-year-old who has to actually fight him doesn’t need to. So she’s holding herself to a slightly higher standard than in canon.
Hihavaniceda – huh? What thread?
Eternal_Phantom – I suppose I should have Arthur say detached duty to make it clearer. I ended up re-working the beginning of the scene to make it visualize better anyway.
hello matthew i am really enjoying ur story.. its one of the best i have read till now and i just want to wish u luck and awating for new chapter 🙂
I dont know if youre still looking for discontinuities but i was rereading your story again and spoted one in chapter 3 ‘making waves’
Hermione says “one of those Muggle Studies classes I’ve read the second year students can take, only in reverse”
should that be third year?
I just thought of something else.
In chapter 23/24 at PheonixSong Harry stuns the three people after Sirius in the village, obliviates them etc. He then does more magic later and explains that it won’t be picked up because of the wards. Why though was his underage magic not picked up in the muggle village?
Ok I understand now about the occlumacy. I know that they first met Remus between first and second year but the conversation wasn’t held until the summer between second and third year. The reason given by them then was Snape when he had already been dismissed but I get what you mean their giving an excuse that Remus can infer from means not Snape but Dumbledore. Maybe you could make it clearer, include some thoughts from Harry on what he’s saying, thinking about how far to include Remus in confidence etc. or not it is your story.
Thanks for the endless enjoyment.
Great story! One concern I have is Harry already suspects Wormtail is providing intel to the Dementer Handlers. If he is helping them why wouldnt he help other spys and/or deatheaters into Hogwartz using the Shrieking Shack entrance. This seems out of character for Harry not to provide some sort of additional security on that entrance. Even Sirius might suggest that at some point.
I know I wouldnt want a hundred dementers funneling through the roots of the paralyzed Whomping Willow.
Keep up the excellent work.
Noting number 17. Darkflame’s comment about the Harry horcrux, and your response, I would like to speak up. Even though the horcrux in Harry was destroyed, I think he could still have some of his connection with Voldemort and his abilities. This is from the assumption that the horcrux link was powerful enough that some remanents of it’s effects could be felt even after it was destroyed. Also, I think the parsletounge can be explained by saying that the horcrux’s presence attuned to Harry’s subconscience, so he subconsciencely learned the language. Even with the horcrux gone, he still would subconsciencely know it. I hope that makes sense.
Hi Matthew, I have been reading/ following this story for many months now…. I think I am going to have to reread though because as i read all these comments I realise that I must have forgotten some parts of this story – or perhaps I have read too many fanfics and they have all blurred into one LOL…
In regard to hihavanicedas comment above – She started a Harry potter thread in the lead up to book 7…. through this we got a link to a supposed leaked copy of the book 7 which turned out to be Melindaleo’s story from pheonixsong…. we then stumbled across your story and have been posting in this thread when any updates come up for your and other stories we are following…. Nothing sinister I promise… Just keeping your fans up to date 🙂
Anyway good work on this story I think it original and excellently put together…. I didn’t notice a thing 😀 When you have finished with your corrections/ alterations ( ? ) will you repost on PS? or elsewhere ( where…. :)).
Thanks Tammy
*looking forward to the next chapter*
Alright, since this is my first time commenting I’d like to say a couple things. First off, I’m seriously amazed at how good this story is. ^^; When I finished reading Team 8 up to 14 I decided I couldn’t get enough of your writing style and started on NoFP…
About 30-35 hours later I was finished, a feat of marathon reading that has only been reserved for the actual HP books in the past. I seriously cannot get enough. =D
So everyone’s covered most of what I noticed on the first read through (and the subsequent ones as well), though I did see something. It may or may not be a mistake, but it struck me as odd later on. In chapter 29, when he’s talking about the magical core overload, you have…
“He’d never heard of such a thing happening before, but it did make for a very dramatic ending.”
…but later on, you say that something very similar happened to Bill when he took down Durmstrange. (And I know I’ve spelled that wrong >
Another Mistake is in the third chapter a little ways down
“Ron, it’s not the spells, it the little details, like how do you heat water for tea? Is it a spell, or do you have magical appliances to cook with?” Hermione reassured him. “Think of it more like… one of those Muggle Studies classes I’ve read the second year students can take, only in reverse.”
Muggle Studies is a third year class
P.S. I’ve been reading this fic for a while and while i constantly complain (to myself and my friends) about how long it takes to update i say you should continue with what you feel is right so i thought i would help a bit.
It’s pretty clean overall, but there’s that thing with the Horcruxes. The cup, ring, and locket Sirius brought back…. Is that a plot point, or did you forget to include a scene where Harry destroys them? I’m pretty relieved to find a decent fanfic author who doesn’t abandon a story, btw. -Riona
dogfood – it says 3rd year in my manuscript, so that’s been fixed (maybe just not uploaded yet)
Spymaster – because we know at least 2 magical families live near Ottery St. Catchpole (Weasleys and Diggories at the least), and with some sort of semi-official Ministry mischielf going on, it would be very hard to sort out who did what, so they probably don’t bother. (The same way no one would bother to monitor Kings Cross.) Also, they were explaining to Remus WHY they didn’t tell him about Sirius before – back when Snape was still an issue. For that matter, theres no guarantee he might run into Snape at Hogsmeade or Diagon Alley, and we KNOW he has grudge against Remus…
Blitzster – The wards cover the tunnel. Remember that Dumbledore KNOWS about the shrieking shack – he was the one that had young Remus Lupin spend his furry nights there when he attended Hogwarts.
Tammy – I can’t directly post corrections to Phoenixsong because of the way it’s set up, but I’ll forward the new versions of the chapters to SiriusSeeker.
Jans – what happened to Bill was more like getting caught in the conflagration when he collapsed the wards. Sort of like a giant Bug-Zapper. (Eeewww!) Harry’s nightmare revolved around his magical core becoming destabilized and exploding on it’s own.
Relyt_Hock – see above.
Somewhere – he hasn’t destroyed them yet. He doesn’t want to lose a hand like Dumbledore did.
Thank you Matthew for all your hard work … Tammy (thank you tammy369)and I have been keeping a chat thread going, as Tammy explained above, for a few of your Australian fans. BUT I have searched high and low (and even googled) and I cannot find your updated chapters on this “SiriusSeeker”. Are the new updated chapters available to read? Please can someone let me know the link address as i would like to read the new chapters to refresh the story in my mind before the next chapter is out. Taaaa.
Sorry, Sirius-seeker is my beta/posting liaison with the Phoenixsong.net site. I have to send her the files so she can post them on the actual web-site.
Reviewing some of my favorite passages again, and I came up with a few more comments:
Chapter one says that Hermione is Ron’s “common law wife”. But in Chapter 28, when Harry is answering Hermione’s questions about the future in the Room of Requirement, he says that “…you two exchanged vows in a burned out Muggle church. They were magically binding…” If the vows were magically binding, then is it really a common-law marriage?
In Chapter 2, when Harry leaves the Dursleys’ and summons the Knight bus, the spelling is “kerb” When he comes back to the Dursleys’ after visiting Gringotts and buying his cloak, it’s “curb”.
Other than that, Matthew, we’ve all been waiting patiently for the next chapter (and the next, and the next, etc.) Could we have it, please? Pretty please? Pretty please with cherries on top? 🙂
Common-Law is a legal term. No justice of the peace equivalent or Ministry paperwork was involved…
yes, yes , yes! (Chapter 36 – 90%)
Goooooooooooooooo Matthew !
(… and thank you tammy, I have about 50 more days before i can post, sorry)
…. by the way … I have just re -read the whole story from the start …. and I loved it even more the second time round …. I think I read it toooooooo fast the first time as I was just soooo interested in the happenings … this time I was able to enjoy it and have picked up more infromation. Wonderful world you have continued … as great as JKR’s.
Where will it be posted first?????
100% WOOHOO
I am soo excited… it has been a long wait….. I cant wait to read it… will have to go and reread last few chapters though…. Thanks Matthew 🙂
Don’t feel like reading through all the comments, so please ignore or ridicule me if someone’s caught this.
Chapter 3, it seems that Draco hasn’t met Harry before (as seemingly evidenced by the flow of the conversation). Yet, since the NoFP timeline starts after the trip to Diagon Alley, they should have already met, but were left unintroduced.